Holy Bible

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    86 Responses ttto Holy Bible

    1. TrayShadix says:

      Now if only we can get a Gideon-style service going…

    2. HoChunk says:

      i can haz 100 moar poasts plz kthxbai

    3. traptin85 says:

      I like it.

    4. Svartmetall says:

      I love it. Where can we buy these?

    5. TheLotusEater725 says:

      Jesus fuck, how in the hell do you expect religious people to accept atheists when you make stupid shit like this? And then you yell and admonish us when we take offense and defend our beliefs. Fucking hell man, i don’t get angry at you because you are defending your belief that god isn’t real.

      What would you do if i was out slapping stickers on the god delusion telling people that ” While this book contains scientific fact and accepted theory it has a high probability of just being educated conjecture based on correlative data and minor empirical evidence” And i then i would get angry at for defending your beliefs because they do not fit the list of criteria i or my group has assembled for your statements to have credence. also i would then accuse you of not thinking for yourself because you aren’t seeing things my way. I then go around and encourage other people to do the same and get pissed at them.

      Y’know i have no problem with you believing in the absence of a god. I have no problem with the fact that you probably actively seek out information that supports your theories, and then claim that you are objective. You know why? Because i do the same fucking thing, the only difference is that i am up front and honest about it. Christians do it all the fucking time with the bible and other books. And atheists are the kings of refuting philosophical and scientific plausibility of their beliefs being wrong. How in the hell do you expect either group to get along when you are both to busy trying to disprove eachother?

      Don’t you see the endless cycle this bullshit creates? It isn’t just religion, it isn’t just atheism. It is your refusal to be wrong. It is your refusal to compromise. It is your refusal to respect others. That is what makes christians hate you, and that is why you hate christians. This will keep going on and both sides are going to keep losing because nobody wants to fucking acknowledge eachothers right of Free will.

    6. Sigh says:

      It’s really much simpler than that. No one is as entertaining as a pissed off or offended christian. Why would I want acceptance from them? Please do go on.

      Show the world why people so easily believe that it’s fiction. Your actions and words show that you don’t believe it either.

      Now, let’s have a proper rant. Try again. Entertain!

    7. TGGeko says:

      Even if it is fake, the bible is still a pretty kick ass narrative.

    8. sickmindedone says:

      @thelotuseater725: Nothing on that sticker is false. Those things ARE in the bible, and it DOES cause those things.

    9. TGGeko says:

      @sickmindedone: You know what else causes those things? Television.

    10. @Sigh:

      Fuck off, newfags; thelotuseater725 makes pragmatic points from a Christian perspective that even I, an atheist have come to respect.

    11. Tyger42 says:

      @thelotuseater725: The same way they expect atheists to accept them for doing the same sort of thing, perhaps? Fucking duh?

    12. @Tyger42:

      You’re right about that though, not too many open minded Christians, except for the Quakers…

    13. Alec Dalek says:

      @thelotuseater725: Blah, blah, blah, and some shit, whatever. We have a right to do shit like this because you freaks have a right to “preach” to us. Fair is fair.

      Christians think it’s okay to annoy the rest of us at any time with their fables, but would they like it if every Sunday I went to a different church and disrupted the proceedings with my “views”? We leave your churches alone (for now), so stop bitching or we’ll get you some lions.

    14. Alec Dalek says:

      @Snarky Parker: Hey newfag, did you notices Darko’s UID #? Now SHUT THE FUCK UP, the men are talking.

    15. CathyLong says:


      This is based off of the very REAL stickers Creationists demanded be put in any science book which mentioned evolution. And they WERE put in the books in many states to appease the idiots who failed philosophy and keep mixing up Intelligent Design with Christianity.

      Secondly, atheists neither want nor need to be “taken seriously” by people who still believe in fairy tales. You may as well say telling kids Santa Clause isn’t real is “pointless” if we want to be “taken seriously” by a group of elementary school kids.

      No one really cares what Christians think of them. Seriously. I’m Agnostic and I don’t care.

      You don’t have to be atheist to find this funny. My mom’s a Catholic and laughed at this. It’s just a joke, and a PARODY of something Extremist Christians started doing. I suggest you do your homework next time you go on some rant about poor Xians and atheists picking on them.

      Fact is, the majority of Christians think Creationists are fucking stupid.

    16. The Matrix: Rebooted says:

      @thelotuseater725: “What would you do if i was out slapping stickers on the god delusion”
      You mean like the evolution stickers that were put on textbooks?
      The difference is that it wasn’t just a funny picture on the internet, it was a school board. AlecDalek has a point. Every single day there are people literally standing on the streets shouting at me that I’ll go to hell if I don’t believe in Jesus. You do something about those wackos and maybe we’ll cut back on the funny pictures on the internet.

    17. @AlecDalek:

      Wow, you are sooo masculine; fucking idiot…

    18. Alec Dalek says:

      @CathyLong: That was very well thought out and intelligent. I’m sorry, but there’s simply no way a Fundie like lotuseater will be able to comprehend what you said. Keep up the Good work and maybe I can retire.

    19. @AlecDalek:

      Oh, and btw, what kind of man capitalizes ‘shut the fuck up’ like that? I literally smell your insecurities and estrogen kicking in. Like I give a flying fuck that he’s been here longer than me.

    20. Alec Dalek says:

      @Snarky Parker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! What, did you get kicked off Fark and now we have to babysit you?

    21. Your maturity “as a man” shines through the prolonged haha. Fucking loser. I don’t even know what the fuck Fark is. Go kill yourself.

    22. Sticky says:

      For the most part, pioneered by my fucking state.

      …I hate living here.

    23. joodles says:

      @HoChunk: Almost a quarter of the way there…

    24. AlecDalek got owned by Snarky Parker.

      There. It’s bold, ’cause otherwise nobody will pay attention to my irrelevant comments.

      Also, Lotus is a fundie? Last time I checked, Lotus doesn’t think killing Muslims, black people or Native Americans is funny. Unlike, some people.


      “Secondly, atheists neither want nor need to be “taken seriously” by people who still believe in fairy tales.”

      “No one really cares what Christians think of them. Seriously. I’m Agnostic and I don’t care. ”

      Unless you have proof of some sort, I suggest you speak only for yourself, hasty generalisations like that make you look like a fool.

    25. CathyLong says:

      I need to prove I don’t care if Xians take me seriously?


      I just told you, I don’t care. That’s my proof. I really have no care in the world if various religious people think I am going to their various hells. That’s entirely THEIR concern. Not mine. 🙂

      I’m happy with my life the way I live it.


    26. @reboot:

      Is that really true? I mean, how so. How do they know you’re an atheist. Or do they do that with all people who come by. It’s harassment, you could just call the police or no?

    27. @CathyLong:

      You said, “atheists neither want nor need” and “No one really cares” – you spoke for atheists/ people in general. That’s no real argument, it’s a generalisation.

      And I’m glad you don’t care, neither do I. So how is that job hunt going?

    28. CathyLong says:

      @dieAntagonista: Job hunt? I have a job. Have had one for a while actually.

      And if you’re trying to make a quaint point about how my employers may or may not be christians, I ask you this, how many job interviews have you been to where religion comes up in the questioning?

      I don’t need to be taken seriously BASED on my religious beliefs. That was my point. If your point is that I may at some point need to impress a christian, then I give it back to you that in the same setting a christian may have to impress an antheist.

      And it will have nothing to do with their religions so it’s a moot point.

      When it comes to RELIGIOUS OPINIONS, people who differ in opinion have no reason to seek to impress the opposing side. This sticker (the topic at hand) was not meant to be “taken seriously” by people who don’t find it funny. How could it be?

      Do you expect blondes with short tempers to take the author of a blonde joke seriously?

      Not going to happen. So, I repeat that it would be asinine to assume that whoever wrote or found this sticker funny would care what the people they were mocking in the first place THOUGHT of them. If they cared, they wouldn’t tell the joke.

    29. Tyger42 says:

      @AlecDalek: Who gives a flying fuck what anyone’s UID number is? Seriously…

    30. @CathyLong:

      Last time we talked you said something about someone getting a job. Since I have a job as well, I thought you meant yourself.

      So no, I wasn’t hinting on anything else.

      Well you enjoy your freedom, some people have it worse. In Austria you have to have your religious beliefs included in your birth certificate. So when I go to an interview, they know right away what I am or what I’m not. I wasn’t accepted at my school of choice, because mine says I have no religion.
      But honestly, from the way you’re talking, you have no idea. If I would have known that if I converted to a certain religion, just to have it on paper, in order to get into a good school, I would have done it.

    31. MonkeyHitman says:

      when i return…when i return…

    32. MonkeyHitman says:

      damn im not touching this subject. “everyone should shut up” and post your comments in the real bible topic

      Moldy Bible

      😀 HAi guys

    33. HoChunk says:

      @joodles: It’s like MAGIC, I tells ya.

      Were you here for Moldy Bible?

    34. Alec Dalek says:

      @dieAntagonista: I suspected Snarky Parker was your alt. Nice try loser. I must have really hit a nerve with you. I hurt someone over teh internets, yay!

    35. @AlecDalek: “I hurt someone over teh internets, yay!”

      I don’t even know what to say to that. You sound like a 16 year old boy. Seriously, you’re declining. Using terms like “teh internets” and bragging about your UID number, what has your life come to?

      And yeah I’m totally Snarky Parker. RSIxidor can verify that, we talked on Skype, I’m actually an American atheist living in Japan. Gee, you must be some kind of genius.

    36. JamesTuskGeorge says:

      The Dawkinists are as fundamental as the Fallwellians, none of them are rational or have any understanding of the things they talk about, and both sides have to shove their beliefs on the other side, with barely any knowledge about the opposing point of view, or of any rational views affiliated to either side.

    37. Ahhhhhh….

      I missed the shitstorm. 🙁

      I didn’t even get a chance to quote the awesome parts of the Bible were it tells you how to sell your daughters into slavery, how to beat your wife, or the best way to sacrifice a goat.

      Oh, well. I’m sure people will realize that if religion (y’know, the fundamental nature of the universe) can change based on their whims, then it’s obviously a big man-made egotistical delusion.

      At least it was a civil discussion that no one resorted to name cal… ah, fuck. This was a lot more fun when Ciao was around. Hey, reboot made it for a second. Crazy.

    38. @JamesTuskGeorge: I have not only read the Bible (unlike 99% of people who have claimed to have done so), but I’ve also gone through confirmation with the Catholic church. I am also an atheist, and am not organized like everyone believes we are. It’s ‘without religious beliefs,’ not substituting religious beliefs with organized atheism like religious people hope for.

      Those in the religious community would like for atheism to be a group organization, because they can then attack it as another religion like you just did. We’re not organized. I’ve never gone to meetings, none of my atheist friends have (including those that read the God Delusion), and we don’t have study groups.

      “But one guy told me about this group his cousin’s friend’s friend went to.”

      Whatever. I’ve also heard of all gay religious orgies, but I’m not dumb enough to believe they represent the larger demographic.

      You claim to know about religion, but do you know about the great Schism? Are you aware that ‘Satan’ is Hebrew for ‘Adversary,’ and in the old testament was really just Jehovah’s prosecuting attorney? Or that, in fact, many of the religious beliefs people claim as facts from the Bible aren’t in the Bible at all? How about the simple fact that atheism has been around since the ancient Greeks (and probably earlier), before your precious religion even started?

    39. Luke Magnifico says:

      Militant atheists, you bettah step up yo’ game, bwahs.

      Seriously, how many times has this been done. This is not original or funny anymore.

    40. z4lis says:

      @thelotuseater725: Can anyone else find the irony? Hint: compare the bit about “refusal to be wrong” in the referenced post and the thread as a whole! And you criticized him for being wrong…

    41. joodles says:

      Yup, but I didn’t read any of it, I don’t have any interest in religion.

    42. MaiNiaC_MicHaeL says:

      Damn, I love watching these kind of posts blow up. Makes for great bathroom material. Not sure if it’s better to read or wipe my ass with though.


    44. SKILLERWHALE says:

      Christ, I love these debates.

    45. Sigh says:

      I just love it when my point gets proven so dramatically.

      I respect everyone’s right to be as religious, or not, as they wish. It’s none of my business. Everyone has their own version of faith in something.

      The sticker, the picture, this site are all about entertainment. The ranting comments contain little other than disrespect and hate. Both sides use the same language in varying degrees of vulgarity and make the same points. That says a great deal about both. I don’t advocate for either side. Actually, both sides seem to be stating that there shouldn’t be sides.

      So, I return to my original point: This is entertaining, regardless of your beliefs.

      All who frequent this site know what it contains. That’s why we all keep coming back. Anyone easily offended can simply type in another URL to get away from it.

      Please, keep going. This is great stuff.

    46. HoChunk says:

      @MaiNiaC_MicHaeL: You must have one ginormous ass if you can wipe it with a computer monitor.

    47. TheLotusEater725 says:

      Thank you for all for proving my points. Also i love how everyone just skipped over everything and made it an argument of ” yes that is in the bible” and ” NO WE DON’T WANT CHRISTIANS TO LIKE US”


      I am a fundie? Wtf? I support Gay marriage you fucktard. In fact i actively speak out against christianity all the fucking time. You are more of a fundamentalist than i am you myopic fuck.


      Yeah those things are in the bible i never said they weren’t. The bible is hella fucked up. But those things are presented out of context and are presented for the purpose of over shadowing the THOUSANDS of scriptures that . Tell me have you ever actually read the bible or do you just google ” bad things in the bible?” and use that for your arguments?


    48. TheLotusEater725 says:

      @HoChunk: Or he has a really tiny monitor.

    49. TheLotusEater725 says:

      Ugh god we need an edit button on the comments section.

    50. TheLotusEater725 says:

      @reboot: Exactly reboot, that was the point i was making. I never said christians were innocent. In fact i absolutely hate that those groups of christians who pull shit like that because it gives the rest of us a bad name. If you actually read what i said you would see that i very explicitly state that ” christians are by no means innocent” You want christians to stop yelling at atheists and pulling stupid shit like the numerous attempts at “banning evolution” then stop doing the same thing back at us. You are living in fantasy land if you think either group is innocent. So stop playing this game of ” WELL THEY DID THIS FIRST!” it is bullshit.

    51. moarmare says:

      LOL. Thread Delivers.

    52. MonkeyHitman says:

      @thelotuseater725: I’ve understood your message but you have to understand if you yell at people(internet wise) people will yell back at you. Proof? this thread. your goal was perfect but your approach not the best… *thumbs up*

    53. The Matrix: Rebooted says:

      @thelotuseater725: In the propaganda war, atheist are using using pop-guns against Christian who use nuclear weapons. Shit like this is going RIGHT NOW:
      And you’re saying the atheists should back down first? No way.

    54. TheLotusEater725 says:

      @reboot: Reboot, again, actually go through and read what i said, No side is innocent. These christians are no more justified than the atheists who put that sticker on the bible.

      If atheists want respect from religious people, and want to be taken seriously they need to stop doing the same shit the religious people are doing. How in the fuck is trying to Ban ” one nation Under God” from the pledge of allegiance or currency any better than trying to ban evolution from schools? How in the hell is an ad campaign asking that HALF OF THE HUMAN POPULATION throw away their most sacred beliefs going to make the situation better?

      Get over it. Atheists at this point are every bit as guilty as religious people. The only option to make things better at this point is for either side to back down first and apologize for their injustice.

      Christians have started making an effort to apologize for those asshat groups that try to ban science.

    55. The Matrix: Rebooted says:

      @thelotuseater725: “How in the fuck is trying to Ban ” one nation Under God” from the pledge of allegiance or currency any better than trying to ban evolution from schools?”
      Well, for one thing it isn’t on the currency 🙂 and for another, it wasn’t part of the original pledge. It was added there in the 1950s. So you guys fired the first shot in that battle, too.

    56. The Matrix: Rebooted says:

      @thelotuseater725: There’s also the important point that, whether or not you believe it, evolution is science. It should be taught in science class.

    57. TheLotusEater725 says:

      @reboot: I know that, it was added because the communists were supposedly “god less.” And on our currency it says “in god we trust”


    58. nyoki says:

      Never mind me, just needed to subscribe

    59. TheLotusEater725 says:


      As much as i hate to say it, you are right. It is a shame that i responded so angrily. I’m no better than those i speak out against.

    60. The Matrix: Rebooted says:

      @thelotuseater725: You asked a really specific question. “How is trying to Ban ” one nation Under God” from the pledge of allegiance or currency any better than trying to ban evolution from schools?”
      I gave *two* good reasons why it is different. And now your using all caps and accusing me of fabricating evidence, even though we agree on all the facts. So I think I’ll just go out for a beer and wait for you to calm down.

    61. MonkeyHitman says:

      @reboot: dood, i found out why you have 2 names in Top10. if you register with a email and then change it, the post count thingy will consider it a new user. so that’s why you have two reboot’s> If you put your old email on your first reboot it will count back again. but I guess you already know this…

    62. MonkeyHitman says:

      @ColombianMonkey: srry wrong guy… i thought it was you reboot who had the problem but it was natedog, srry for misunderstanding :). never mind me.

    63. TheLotusEater725 says:

      @reboot: Ugh, you are right. I am sorry. I’ll email you a Pint of Oatmeal Stout. I think the thing that set me off was that it sounded to me that you were accusing me of not believing in evolution or science for that matter.I guess i am so used to being told i don’t believe in science/evolution that i have a knee jerk reaction to the subject.

    64. nyoki says:

      The stickers were added after more than 2,000 parents complained that the textbooks presented evolution as fact, without mentioning rival ideas about the beginnings of life, such as the biblical story of creation.
      Six parents and the American Civil Liberties Union then sued, contending the disclaimers violated the separation of church and state and unfairly singled out evolution from thousands of other scientific theories as suspect.

      Reboot is correct about the numbers. 2000 parents complain that evolution is being taught in science class, but only 6 complain about separation between church and state. Significant difference.

      Within the community of Christian believers there are areas of dispute and disagreement, including the proper way to interpret Holy Scripture. While virtually all Christians take the Bible seriously and hold it to be authoritative in matters of faith and practice, the overwhelming majority do not read the Bible literally, as they would a science textbook. Many of the beloved stories found in the Bible – the Creation, Adam and Eve, Noah and the ark – convey timeless truths about God, human beings, and the proper relationship between Creator and creation expressed in the only form capable of transmitting these truths from generation to generation. Religious truth is of a different order from scientific truth. Its purpose is not to convey scientific information but to transform hearts.

      I think most atheists (certainly me) realize that most Christians believe that evolution should be taught in science class, by itself and that creationism/intelligent design should not be taught in science class. I would like to see more of the moderate Christians stand up and say that they do not agree w/ the fundies and stop apologizing for them and mark a clear line between the fundies and the moderates.

      Oh and never lose the ability to find humor in everything, especially yourself.

    65. nyoki says:

      Oh damn, forgot links.

      The first is from reboot’s post.

      The second I from locust’s post

    66. SumoSnipe says:

      Dammit this is nearly a hundred posts that could have been made over on moldy bible….wait…rechecking memory….nevermind. most of this was hashed out over there already.

      Lotus. Dude. Relax.You nearly went RDD on us here.

      But hey if people wanna get all fundie on each other, I could go back to doing things the way my ancestors did. With Axe Sword and Spear.
      “Form the fury of the northmen O Lord deliver us” I think the old christian prayer went.

    67. clicksip says:

      @thelotuseater725~ Um you need to chill, it was a joke and besides you bitching about it makes it worse then if someone just laughed at it.

    68. zondron says:

      every time, every god damn time an image with a bible is posted this happens

      that moldy bible!!!…

    69. MaiNiaC_MicHaeL says:


      Well….I was talking about printer paper, but I guess the monitor might be a bit smoother. Even if it is a 20″. <—Gonna pay for that one aren’t I..

    70. JamesTuskGeorge says:

      @Paul_Is_Drunk: When I said Fallwellians I could have as easily say wahabbists, Christianity is only one faith. However, yes, I’m aware of the things you mention, and the things (in Christianity) “borrowed” from other religions, and a lot more besides including how the message has been manipulated through time back and forwards by various groups and individuals for various reasons.

      However, while you are not organised, or replacing beliefs, a lot of people certainly are. That some atheists are organised is demonstrable, some are, there are societies, which hold meetings, publish magazines, and articles in other magazines, and many of the same structures you find religions with.

      It’s almost exactly the same as when people of faith come together, the result being a religion, with agreed dogma, practices and so on. These are also the ones that shout loudest, and know least about everything, just as their religious counterparts shout loudest and know least.

      Or course, not all atheists are organised, but then not all people of faith are organised either. When I said Dawkinists I was talking about the vocal minority, which knows little and says much, just as I think the Fallwellians know little and say much. I wouldn’t have included you in that group based on your post, as it seemed to be fairly rational, until you said:

      “before your precious religion even started?”

      Hmm, not quite sure whey you had to mention that. You assume I’m religious, or of faith, and then you assume that I’m a Christian, or from some other relative new religion if I am.

      I’m just making that point that some (certainly not all) atheists are as fundamental about what is (for them, even if they deny it) a religion. I could point this out as a rational athiest.

    71. nyoki says:

      Are Satanists atheists? I remember hearing/reading somewhere that they didn’t believe in God (or the devil) and were making some sort of parody/mockery of believers. If true, that’s a monumental waste of one’s time.

    72. nyoki says:

      Tiki killed it, our belove-ed moldy bible. The Horror! The Horror! *sobs*

    73. MonkeyHitman says:

      @nyokki: thanks to luke…. nyokki can you find out why?

    74. Dr.Devine says:


    75. nyoki says:

      @Dr.Devine: We can but try. Perhaps we can epic-anize this thread somehow.

    76. MonkeyHitman says:

      @nyokki: no no no no
      no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
      no no no no no no no no no no no no.

    77. nyoki says:

      @ColombianMonkey: What are you trying to say. Just spit it out, don’t be o ambiguous.

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