Swiss Army Knife for Nerds

Planning required

Planning – Step 1: Unfold the blueprints

Mr Maki is watching you!

to my beloved one

Kids want it

They want that ass.

Little Johnny’s ‘Bookish’ Father

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.

She explained, ‘I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he were here today.”

The first student raised her hand to volunteer.

‘Marcy, the teacher said. ‘You may go first.”

Marcy replied, ‘My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny.”

The teacher said, ‘Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?”

Kevin stood up and announced, ‘My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie.”

‘Very good, the teacher told Kevin.

Jeff was next, and he said, ‘My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no ”

Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he

knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.

Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Johnny to go next.

Johnny said, ‘My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell ‘accountant.”

Rescued cat

Post comments for what you think the caption for the cat should be.

MAKE IT STOP!!!

MAKE IT STOP!!!

Playstation 3 quotes

Sony Wow. Just wow.

I ♥ it in the _____.

I ♥ index finger, ‘okay’ hand-signal.

I has a Presidency

i has a prezidency – nooo they be stealin my prezidency

Dime frog

i has a monies

Frog with snail hat

I HAS A HAT

Happy Snake

I AM PLEASED BY THIS

AD&D chick

HOPE – Because she just might want to hear about your 12th level Paladin.

Owl Watermellon

HOLY SHIT – THIS IS AWESOME

Cheesy tubgirl

Her Vagina – It’s dangerously cheesy.

Get out of the CHOPPA!

You\’re doing it wrong

Purple Klan

Gay Black Jewish Klansmen for tolerance and understanding, Smyrna Georgia Chapter #6699

Spongebob Squarepants fan club meetings in Tyron\’s mom\’s basement every Wednesday at 7:30PM

FUCKING STUPID

Some animes\’ are really good, others are FUCKING STUPID.

Captain Falcon figure skating

FALCON PUNCH

An Excellent frog

EXCELLENT.

Evil snowdog

FINISH HIM!

Everyone STFU!

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Early sign your kid is gay

Early sign your kid is gay.

Broken Nintendo DS

YOU\’RE DOING IT WRONG

Tiki says ‘Dumb it down!’

Thought some of you would find this amusing, and it also serves as a future warning to others.

Stair Shelves

DO WANT!
Apartment Therapy

Megalodon vs Great White

The Megalodon is an ancient species of shark about 18 million years old. The photos were taken, by the submitter, at the Buena Vista Museum in Bakersfield California where some of the best Meaglodon teeth have been recovered just a few miles away at “shark tooth hill”.

Edvard Munch

Fucked them all

Sat Dec 20 – Lefturn’s Funny Shit

During a lull in the rehearsal the groom and best man, two long time friends and playboys, began to compare conquests. The groom, looking out over the crowd, said to his best man, ‘You know Bill, except for my wife to be, my two sisters and my mother, I’ve fucked every woman in this room. To which his friend responded, ‘Well then, between the two of us we’ve fucked them all!”

Quattro

AK

Friend on XFIRE sent me these

Finger Arm Tattoo

Least the guy has a sense of humor.

It’s not what it looks like – Geoducks

Geoducks. Isn’t it amazing how the same shapes just keep showing up, over and over, in nature. Paging Dr. Freud…

Almost there

Atom Bomb Explosion

Boom.

Weird inappropriate things I say / Do

I tastes like an angel came in my mouth!
Weird + inappropriate things I say / Do: Nọ 4

I would hit it like the fist of an angry god

I would hit it like the fist of an angry god.

Any Button / Bacon Button

Two keyboard keys we wish we had: Any & Bacon

April Fools

i just did a wicked april fools on my cousin!
I coated my jizz on her tampon, re-sealed the package, and now she’s actually wearing it LOL! Now I told her what I actually did and she’s freaking out haha

dw, I ate a birth controll pill this morning so my sperm won’t impregnate her.

she’s calling her mom and everything lol, these noobs about to get pwned when they find out nothings going to happen

Bears on Motorbikes

Bears on Motorbikes – With SCUBA gear machinegunners in sidecars. Give up already.

Beefcake…

BEEFCAKE!

Boob mouse

You know you want one.

Panamanian Store

Mini Super Fukin 2

Fritz

Robert Crumb\’s Fritz the Cat, directed by Ralph Bakshi.

Pere Lachaise

Most beautiful of cemeteries. Cats live there.

Custom Wedding Cake Toppers

Saw these while looking around for mythbusters stuff. I think the first one is Adam.

“The Ship of Gold”

The sinking of the Central America in an 1857 hurricane in the Atlantic Ocean was one of the worst peacetime tragedies of men, ship, and gold lost at sea. Over 425 men and many tons of gold were thought to have been lost forever.

In 1989, the Ship of Gold and her cargo of San Francisco gold coins were finally discovered and retrieved from the bottom of the ocean.

Tentacle Grape Soda

You gonna git graped.

No Wire Hangers EEVEEEEEEEEEER!!

wouLd YOU want it it be Your mother? Screen cap of Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford in the fiLm “Mommie Dearest” CLIP: uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bUZdXUI3VKo