After six years of keeping our malls safe, Paul Blart (Kevin James) has earned a well-deserved vacation. He heads to Vegas with his teenage daughter before she heads off to college. But safety never takes a holiday, and when duty calls, Blart answers. Source: Amazon.com It’s odd to see such a low brow movie make Read the full article…

BOOK DESCRIPTION: Inhuman is Book 5 in the best-selling, smash hit phenomenon, Post-Human series. In this 400-plus pages, 109k word epic story (twice as long as any other individual book in the series for the same low $2.99 price-point) readers will get to rejoin all of the characters they fell in love with along the way in the previous 4 Read the full article…

They put it though the Wash

taxi vader

Will Smith stars as Nicky, a seasoned master of misdirection who becomes romantically involved with novice con artist Jess (Margot Robbie) as he’s teaching her the tricks of the trade. Source: Amazon Instant Video Much better than I was worried it was going to be, now I’m looking foward to seeing Smith/Robbie in the upcoming Read the full article…

In the mid twenty-first century, mankind has reached a point in its technological advances to enable colonization of the far reaches of the universe. DARK STAR is a futuristic scout ship traveling far in advance of colony ships. Armed with Exponential Thermosteller Bombs, it prowls the darkest reaches of space on a mission to seek Read the full article…

Gameplay elements and enemies that create a sense of unease and set an atmosphere that frightens the player Engage in some of the largest turbulent battles ever witnessed on a console gaming system An immersive world delivers photo-realistic characters, environments and lighting effects Source: Amazon.com Comparing this to modern games would be a disservice, as Read the full article…

Watch Now While It’s in Theaters. When a deadly zombie virus sweeps the nation, a father will stop at nothing to save his infected daughter in this post-apocalyptic thriller starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Abigail Breslin. Source: Maggie While you can tell there’s a low budget at play here, the acting and back story really make Read the full article…

Developed by Naughty Dog, creators of the best-selling Uncharted series Genre-defining experience that blends survival and action elements Character driven story about a population decimated by a modern plague Source: Amazon not sure where I stand on this one.  it was a beautiful game that I would absolutely suggest everyone give a try, but the Read the full article…

You are the PROTOTYPE, Alex Mercer, hiding in human form. You step out onto the streets of New York with no memory, but limitless power. As a terrifying viral epidemic sweeps across Manhattan, top-secret Black Watch Special Forces move in, transforming it into a war zone. Delve into the mysteries of your origin, the true Read the full article…

When some down-on-their-luck old-timers are at risk of losing their home to developers, a group of young, inept criminals decide to take matters into their own hands. The only thing standing in their way? A zombie outbreak in London! Now, it’s up to a bunch of east-enders to fight their way out of the zombie-infested Read the full article…

‘Derelict’ is an editing project for academic purposes. ‘Prometheus’ wasn’t exactly an Alien prequel, but this treats it as such by intercutting the events of Alien with Prometheus in a dual narrative structure. The goal was to assemble the material to emphasize the strengths of Prometheus as well as its ties to Alien. ‘Derelict’ is Read the full article…

I know someone who talks like an owl

While Spartans get all the glory, no soldier?not even the legendary Master Chief?wins a war on their own. Gunnery Sergeant Edward Buck and his team of Orbital Drop Shock Troopers (ODSTs) played a major role in saving the Earth from all-out invasion at the end of the Covenant War?acts of bravery and ingenuity that did Read the full article…

Sultans of Spoof Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (The Starving Games, Meet The Spartans, Vampires Suck) turn their attention to the Fast and Furious franchise with hilarious results! Source: Amazon Instant Video Some pretty spot on spoofing in this spoof, pretty funny stuff that’s making me reconsider skipping the spoofs mentioned in the description.  I Read the full article…

  Steven Spielberg returns to executive produce the long-awaited next installment of his groundbreaking Jurassic Park series, Jurassic World, an epic action-adventure. Source: Amazon.com This was an enjoyable adventure that had a familiar story and some very friendly faces.  it was a shame they had to tack on yet another kids storyline, but apparently you Read the full article…

What starts with an e, ends with an e, and contains no letters? Empty Envelope.

Amazon.com: Big Trouble in Little China [Blu-ray]: Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dun, James Hong, Victor Wong, Kate Burton, Donald Li, Carter Wong, Peter Kwong, James Pax, Suzee Pai, Chao Li Chi, Jeff Imada, Rummel Mor, Craig Ng, June Kim, Noel Toy, John Carpenter: Movies & TV Source: Amazon.com Watching this after being scolded by Read the full article…

Humanity has made a leap into the future, but are they ready for what they’ll become? Source: Amazon.com This is the second novel that I’ve read through Amazon’s (new?) “Kindle Unlimited” program, the first of which was Angles of Attack, which was a great novel in of itself.  The Post-Human Series popped up as a Read the full article…

One of the most beloved books of all time is now a feature film. A classic story about childhood and the places we go to figure out the world we live in. Source: Amazon Instant Video Based off a short story with less than 400 words, they really had to stretch to make a 2 Read the full article…

Upon beginning the story, you’ll quickly find that your home on the lovely Desperation Street has been flattened by a giant robot (specifically, a mammoth version of longtime Penny Arcade antagonist the Fruit Fucker). You’ll soon join forces with PA main characters Tycho Brahe and John Gabriel, paranormal detectives, as you investigate a mysterious infestation Read the full article…

from ImgDerp

from ImgDerp

In the near future, crime is monitored by an oppressive mechanized police force. But now, the people are fighting back. When one police droid, Chappie, is stolen and given new programming, he becomes the first robot with the ability to think and feel for himself.  As powerful and destructive forces start to see Chappie as Read the full article…

from ImgDerp

Alex Garland, writer of 28 Days Later and Sunshine, makes his directorial debut with the stylish and cerebral thriller, EX MACHINA. Caleb Smith (Domhnall Gleeson), a programmer at an internet-search giant, wins a competition to spend a week at the private mountain estate of the company’s brilliant and reclusive CEO, Nathan Bateman (Oscar Isaac). Upon Read the full article…

To own Goldfinger (1964) on digital video disc is to have at your fingertips the proof that Sean Connery is the definitive James Bond. Dry as ice, dripping with deadpan witticisms, only Connery’s Bond would dare disparage the Beatles, that other 1964 phenomenon. No one but Connery can believably seduce women so effortlessly, kill with Read the full article…

from ImgDerp

from ImgDerp

No clue what the hell is going on up there right now, watching the live feed on http://www.wbaltv.com/news/demonstrators-converge-in-baltimore/32595700 They’re doing an hourly recap, some terrible things happening to the city, I was up there for my honeymoon about a year and a half ago, it was a great town when I visited 🙁

Q: Know why I make my pot brownies with chocolate laxatives? A: For shits and giggles.

I told a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs… “Really?” she said, “Go on then…try.” After about thirty seconds of fondling she lost patience and demanded “Come on, what day was I born?” “Yesterday.” I replied.  

A bear goes into a bar, sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him. he then calmly orders a beer bartender: “sorry, we don’t serve drug users in here” bear: “but I don’t do drugs” bartender: “what about that barbitchyouate”  

A few years ago when I first got divorced, I decided to go to Vegas, and wanted to have some fun. I went to a casino, went to the bar, and bought a drink before I did anything when I am approached by a beautiful woman. She asked me if I liked to have fun Read the full article…

Robber: “Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!’ Cashier (puzzled) “Did you mean to say “or you’re history?” Robber: “Don’t change the subject.”

A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: “One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters”. The Isis commander quickly orders 10 of best men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few Read the full article…

KRANG from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! This oversized belt buckle is BIG, but more comfortable and wearable than you would expect. Cast in urethane resin from an original clay sculpture, hand-painted, and hard-coated with polyurethane clear coat, it’s durable too. The best part is with just a few more items, this buckle is the perfect Read the full article…

Officially licensed Doctor Who collectible via ThinkGeek.

An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, Read the full article…

Zack Snyder released this picture of Jason Momoa as Aquaman very late yesterday night on Twitter with the caption “Unite the Seven,” which likely refers to the seven members of the Justice League. via GAS. Um, no, Seven = Seven Seas. He’s fighting to reunite his broken empire and Batmans and Supermans are popping up Read the full article…

What’s the fastest way for a fast food purveyor to make news online? Slap some bacon on whatever they’re selling. Or in the case of Little Caesars, wrap 3.5 feet of bacon around it.Yes, the chain pizzeria that manages to never fully go away is making a stab at Internet fame today with the announcement Read the full article…

A new C&H book? Yes please! Preorder on Amazon.com: Books.

  Presented for the first time in a large-scale format, this intricately detailed model is in glorious 1:18 scale, measuring a very impressive 20″ long! Using the original blueprints as reference, no detail has been spared making this the most accurate recreation possible. The APC features moveable gun turrets and rotating wheels, and is authentically Read the full article…

Ending one of the most venerable and trusted careers in making a complete mockery of the news, Jon Stewart has announced that he is stepping down as host of The Daily Show. According to sources who were there (some of whom are already passing word along on social media), Stewart let the news slip at Read the full article…

Production has been halted on Constantine after 13 episodes and there is no word on any renewal or anything. When word of the halt came, fans trended #SaveConstantine on social media. Looks like there is some hope now and NBC has listened as Cinelinx reported that executives are looking into the move to SyFy. via Read the full article…

Sony Pictures Entertainment and Marvel Studios announced today that Sony is bringing Marvel into the amazing world of Spider-Man. Under the deal, the new Spider-Man will first appear in a Marvel film from Marvel’s Cinematic Universe (MCU). Sony Pictures will thereafter release the next installment of its $4 billion Spider-Man franchise, on July 28, 2017, Read the full article…

Classic conditioning.

Employee : Sir, you called me? Boss : Yeah, I need you to go to the rest room and masturbate. Employee : (After a few minutes) Done, sir. Anything else that you’d like me to do? Boss : Do it again. Employee : (after a few minutes) Done again, sir. Anything else? Boss : Do Read the full article…

(CNN)A 6-year-old boy in Missouri endured an emotional four-hour staged kidnapping because his family thought he was being too nice to people he didn’t know, police said Thursday. The four people involved in the alleged plot — the boy’s mother, grandmother, aunt and a co-worker of the aunt — have been charged with kidnapping and Read the full article…

This is a 3D printed Fifth Element MultiPass that looks just like the real thing. Custom designed to perfectly hold any standard ID for when you need it ready, such as claiming your free vacation from the Gemini Croquet contest or boarding trans system shuttles. Not guaranteed to get you out of trouble with the Read the full article…