Mrs. Murphy is very fat, and the other day, laden with parcels and
packages, she was trying to mount the steps of a Dublin tramcar.
Helplessly looking on, stood the conductor, a diminutive little chap.

Mrs. Murphy, having reached the platform, said, with a glance of
withering scorn: ‘If ye was half a man ye would have helped me up.

The little conductor calmly replied: ‘Shure, ma’am, if ye was half a
woman I would!