Come now, if Avril had never become famous, and this picture was merely “Random Chick PUNCHES you out”, we’d have a few om nom noms, a couple Pedobear jokes and a Chris Hansen reference and that’d be the end of it. But oh noes! She became famous! And we don’t like her music! Or her public personality which may or may not be entirely different from her private one! All of a sudden she is no longer doable.

But when did the matressability of a member of your preferred gender suddenly rely on how they earn a living? I mean, I don’t like banks in general, and I positively loathe my bank. I despise it with the fiery hatred of a thousand suns. My dislike for Avril’s music would seem like rabid fanboyism compared to the depths of my hatred for my bank. Yet my girlfriend works for my bank. And when I found out, I wasn’t like, “Oh, well that’s it then. I can’t be with anyone who works for a goddamn bank”. I was like, “I fucking hate those guys”, and she was like, “Yeah, join the club”, and we carried on with our lives as before, except now I have a snazzy laminated “I Fucking Hate My Bank Club” membership card.

Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh right. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the fact that I’d totally do Avril, given the opportunity. You know, if I wasn’t happily spoken for already.
<..>