Bible Spoilers – Jesus Dies

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    blackdog33ColombianMonkeyIlluminatusCaiomechaxl Recent comment authors
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    Ben1605
    Member

    I am tempted to look in a Bible and say ‘HAH! YOU’RE WRONG!! IT DOESN’T HAPPEN ON 681!!!’

    LordSethD
    Member

    If I were a christians and hasd a bible… I would look on that page to see if it’s true…

    bc293
    Member

    HE DOESNT! i actually checked. in two different versions of the bible. im too lazy to actually find where he does ๐Ÿ˜€

    Alec Dalek
    Member

    He dies 4 times. Once in each of the first 4 books of the new testament (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John). They each tell the story slightly differently, but I’m sure that an all knowing, all powerful being can fix that at some point.

    mechaxl
    Member
    mechaxl

    l2read. they tailor the story towards different groups of people.

    Caio
    Member

    Wow, Alec, I bet you think you were making an amazing point there. But you fucking failed. Three of the books give, in detail, the exact same story with only a few trifling differences. The Gospel of John says Jesus carried his own cross and the other three say it was carried for him. Wow, I guess that disproves all religion. There are plenty of places the bible contradicts itself. In fact, thousands of places. But if you really want to get that bitchy teen angstheist thing going, you’re going to have to do at least a slight amount of… Read more ยป

    Illuminatus
    Member
    Illuminatus

    HE DOESNT! i actually checked. in two different versions of the bible. im too lazy to actually find where he does ๐Ÿ˜€

    It must be because you haven’t the appropriate edition of the Bible certified and approved by the Lord Himself. Whichever that one is…

    MonkeyHitman
    Member

    @Illuminatus: WIN!

    blackdog33
    Member
    blackdog33

    If you tell those in power to fuck off because GOD is your daddy then you have asked for whatever you get. JC got off light.



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