Which Martial Art To Use?

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    34 Responses ttto Which Martial Art To Use?

    1. casemodsisahomo says:

      +100 points for ninja turtle reference

    2. natedog says:

      Jiu Jitsu it is, then

    3. ian356094 says:

      technically, Krav Maga and JJ should also both be under broken bones and Muy Thai shouldn’t be on the chart.

    4. Korinthian says:

      This chart needs Gun Fu a la Equilibrium.

      • Korinthian says:

        I don’t know what Ninjutsu teaches, but if it’s about sneaking and attacking from behind, it’s got to have a pretty high success rate.

        Fighting fair is for people with less regard for staying pretty than you or I.

        • Puulaahi says:

          Ninjutsu teaches about not fighting fair. Basically dirty street fighting. It’s the art of no art.

          • sambo78 says:

            Fights are never fair anyway.

          • HoChunk says:

            Sounds more like the art of no rules.

            Fighting dirty is just a matter of line-crossing; doing what the other guy won’t do. Of course, you have to gauge the cost. Will you be known forever afterwards in your neighborhood by your new tribe name He Who Grabs Balls? If your dirty tactic works, will your adversary be waiting for you the next day with a knife, or gun, or his brothers?

        • sambo78 says:

          I honestly have no experience with it myself. I have met a few people that train it, and they vary quite a bit, skill wise, but that can be said for most martial arts.

          I give Puulaahi a lot of shit, but he’s an alright guy and seems to take it quite well.

    5. sambo78 says:

      The only correct answer to this question is use the martial art that trains against resisting opponents.

    6. sambo78 says:

      I know this is just a joke post, but I still feel the need to bring my trademark hate. Feel the terrible fury of my seething contempt as I trash talk sacred cows.

      Krav Maga: Incompetent instructors use ineffective training to teach techniques that rarely work, even when trained correctly. 3 strikes and you’re out. It’s a joke martial art sold to newbs who don’t know better. Krav Maga instructors are the snake oil salesmen of the MA world. Example #1 how you can sell bullshit to idiots by telling them that they’re training for the street.

      Ninjitsu: Go cry in a corner, larper Naruto fag.

      Karate: It’s two extremes of suck and fail. One extreme is the fat ass strip mall Mcdojo Sensei who has never been in a fight and sells 9 year olds black belts for doing a little dance in a gi. The other extreme is the Kyukushin assholes who fight bareknuckle but somehow don’t learn to protect their head, because then they would have to change their training a little to do that, and that would make Mas Oyama’s ghost cry.

      Kung Fu: Effeminate man-dancers wear silk pajamas, perform dance routines, and talk about chi. Then they pretend they invented all martial arts and ignore the fact that Bodhidharma came from India.

      Jeet Kune Do: THE absolute best martial art to train for fat retarded Bruce Lee nut riders who watch too many movies. They’ll felate him like a god, but avoid his rigorous training regime and progressive mindset like the plague.

      Muay Thai: The Good news? It has two techniques that really work well. The bad news is they can be picked up so quickly that other styles can copy them easily and make Muay Thai irrelevant.

      BJJ: Oh good for you, Gracies!! You proved that if someone doesn’t know how to fight on the ground, they can’t fight on the ground. *golf clap* What a fucking revelation!!! You sure did get a lot of mileage from all those newaza techniques you swiped form Judo and passed off as your own.

      It’s too bad that 95% of you training goes right out the window if someone has rudimentary takedown defense. What’s that sound? That’s the sound of an overspecialized douchebag getting his ass kicked. How does it feel to eat a billion punches to the face?

      At least you can still beat guys who try to substitute eye gouges for real training, but even those guys will learn a basic sprawl eventually, and then you’re fucked.

      Now go back to Brazil and fade back into obscurity.

      • Korinthian says:

        I’m glad you and I realize that Judo is where it’s at.

        *High five*

        • sambo78 says:

          Judo is the standard I measure other martial arts against, but honestly out of a sense of fairness I feel the need to compose a bitch session about it.

          Did I ever tell you about the time one of my instructors threw me so high he was able to catch me and spin me around in mid air so I didn’t land on my head and kill myself?

          • sambo78 says:

            *High five*

          • Korinthian says:

            I’m not quite sure if it counts as “saving someone from killing themselves” when you did the throwing in the first place.

            Although that might be a smart legal defense.

            • sambo78 says:

              Heh. My instructor was an old school Judoka that believed the hardest training was the best training. He was also a Marine and Vietnam vet who didn’t believe in the words pity or mercy.

              His mentality was that if he threw me and I got hurt, it was my fault because my breakfalls weren’t good enough. For a while I believed he only helped me was because he didn’t feel like dealing with the hassle of explaining to the cops why there’s a dead 8 year old in pajamas in the dojo.

              I am only exaggerating for comedic effect a little.

            • Puulaahi says:

              COBRA KAI!!!!!

            • sambo78 says:

              More or less that, yes. But without the pointless obsession with destroying Ralph Macchio.

      • The Matrix: Rebooted says:

        Your comment is not going to be popular around here, but you’re absolutely right. At they’re best, most martial arts are just a way to get some exercise. If you’re ever in a fight, it helps to be in shape. But beyond that they’re not going to help you any more than any other exercise regime.

        • Korinthian says:

          That’s taking it a bit too far.

          • sambo78 says:

            Reboot, considering how strongly we’ve disagreed in the past, it’s very big of you to agree with me and not hold a grudge.

            I would disagree that martial arts do not help in a fight. Hell some martial arts teach habits so bad they can help the other guy.

            • elzarcothepale says:

              my karate instructor left me with one basic principle:
              punch them in the throat and run.

      • Belbo says:

        The sad truth is that if you suck at fighting now, you’re probably going to suck at fighting for the rest of your life. the martial ARTS are just as applicable in combat as figure painting and pastry making.

    7. HoChunk says:

      I wanna hear treatments for:
      -Aikido (actually you did this one at length awhile back)
      -Tae Kwon Do
      …and maybe a word or two about weapons arts, such as Kendo or Escrima.

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