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Now it\’s good!

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    61 Responses ttto Twilight

    1. “The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephanie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.”

      – Stephen King

    2. MonkeyHitman says:

      fook dat, raptor will slay all

    3. Luke Magnifico says:

      @dieAntagonista: Wait, Rowling’s a good writer?

    4. Luke Magnifico says:

      No, wait. King’s just an idiot. My bad.

    5. Luke Magnifico says:

      You know I’m right. I’ve shattered your world, and that is why you are sad. King was the key to all your misconceptions, and now that he’s gone, all your other fantasies are falling away, leaving the world stripped of everything you thought good and worthy.

      And for that, I apologise.

    6. outofocus says:

      Why do people always flock to the crap? Whyyyy?

      There are so many other vampire series out that are way…way…way…. WAY better.

    7. MonkeyHitman says:

      @outofocus: it’s like hanana montana but in a movie for those 14 year old girls. but raptor gave me a *relief* and saved my day!

    8. RSIxidor says:

      If I had noticed the velociraptor, this would have gotten a 5.

    9. Insanely Rational says:

      Attack, raptor, for the love of god, ATTACK!!!

    10. Phyreblade says:

      Win. Purely because of Raptor Jesus.

    11. Tardex says:

      I’d like to see his sparkle skin defend against that motherfucker!

    12. Luke Magnifico says:

      @dieAntagonista: Nil. Is é tusa an duine is amadach, mar tá tú ró dall chun an fírinne a fheiceail.

      Freisin, snaidhm sna meagairlí ort, má go raibh siad orthu.

    13. MonkeyHitman says:

      @Phyreblade: jesus is not there, so it’s not raptor jesus.

    14. RSIxidor says:

      I’m having a translation fail, what language is that?

    15. roboxer says:

      I’ve always liked the Anne Rice/Queen of the Damned series, not this second rate crap…..

    16. shadowed_doubt says:

      i sat through 7 harry potter books, and that was hell, but im halfway through though the first twilight book and i already want to kill myself… its like a can of worms but instead of worms, its poo, and the second you open the book it all comes shooting out at your face and burns your eyes… my sister says the books is better than the movie, so im not even going to bother

    17. Luke Magnifico says:

      @RSIxidor: It’s Irish. You won’t find a proper translator for it, because it’s not a real language.

      Plus, it has too many vowels.

    18. monkeyman767 says:

      @LukeV1-5: Google does translate it, it just generally gets it wrong (suprise suprise) and it is actually a real language now that its recognized as a european language just not many people speak it, hell I forget most of it now too.

      You think it has too many vowels now, you should have seen old irish that decided to put d’s in every where it could

    19. @LukeV1-5:

      Fan ort go fóill. I’m having trouble with the second part, but I’m pretty sure you insulted me worse than I did. Reading Irish is hard. Either way, I’m not sure if I should feel insulted or aroused so I’ll get back to you as soon as I have brushed up my Irish.

    20. Luke Magnifico says:

      @monkeyman767: It’s “officially” a real language. And all our governmental documents are typed in it, in addition to English. But it’s not REALLY real. It’s a pretend language.

      @dieAntagonista: It’s a monstrosity to translate directly, but paraphrasing a little, it means “May your balls become entangled, if you had them”.

      Directly, it translates as “Let it be that you may have upon yourself balls that are entangled between themselves, if they were on you”.

      It’s a pretend language.

    21. @LukeV1-5:

      Haha well I like it a lot. It’s a magnificent language. Because it’s so mysterious and it’s not supposed to be written down, just spoken. It’s not based on Latin either, and anything I can’t understand is very appealing to me. I could listen to people speak Irish all day.

      Also, I’m not a big fan of Rowling, not since the films came out anyway. Whether she is good or not is debatable, but she is richer than the motherfucking Queen so she must have done something right. And I like King for the most part, so my nerd heart made a little jump of joy when I saw that he openly dissed that Mormon lady, Meyer. Meyer is definitely worse than Rowling so yeah, screw you.

    22. Luke Magnifico says:

      Screw everyone. You can all go to hell.

    23. Luke Magnifico says:


      ¶ !


    24. deuce says:

      @LukeV1-5: I’m pretty sure I heard that in an Enya song once…

    25. Luke Magnifico says:

      @deuce: Funny story: Enya lives down the road from me. In a big fucking castle. And she had to get big fuckers of walls because of one single stalker.

      Me, I’d settle for being stalked.

      A little further down is Bono’s house, but he doesn’t actually live there, because he is currently evading tax.

    26. Yeah but you like it, don’t even deny it.

    27. Ronwe says:

      Stephanie Meyer – I don’t give enough of a shit to care if her name is spelled correctly – has done one thing for the literary world. She has proven that anybody can get published. This is not a good thing.

      Not even velociraptors can make Twilight good.

    28. MonkeyHitman says:

      @Ronwe: the raptor is there to end it not enhance it.

    29. monkeyman767 says:

      @LukeV1-5: your irish?

    30. Phyreblade says:

      @ColombianMonkey: I thought the Raptor *was* Jesus… ?? :/

    31. Puulaahi says:

      Harry Potter rules! Rowlings books deserve all the hype they got. Made little kids imagine, dream and find a love for reading. Full of WIN.

      @Phyreblade: Every Raptor is Raptor Jesus.

    32. aarpie says:

      “Clevah girl…”

      also: Stephen King and Rowlings are both great authors. Earth shattering and prolific? Maybe not, but they’re a far sight better than the chica who wrote this bullshit.

    33. Jas3n_bla says:

      Anybody who has read the Dark Tower series will agree that Stephen King is the greatest fantasy writer since Tolkien.

      I said it. Because it’s true.

    34. nyoki says:

      @RSIxidor: Holy shit! Ditto. I really have to start paying more attention to the details of the pics.

    35. BillyWordsworth says:

      @Jas3n_bla: No way. Those last few books were barely readable.

      He pushed them out bowing to pressure from fans, and even he doesn’t seem happy with the way it turned out.

    36. CathyLong says:

      1. Stephen King was good when I was in Middle School.

      2. I would have loved Harry Potter as a kid.

      3. Stephanie Meyer is a hack, who wrote a crappy book series based off a dream she had, neutered vampires even more than the “saved” version of Anne Rice.

      Twilight is dripping with Mormon bullshit ideals and anyone who thinks it’s a good book for teen girls is brain damaged or living in the wrong century. It’s no suprise she was inspired by Jane Austen and admits to reading “a little Anne Rice” and being “too grossed out and scared” to watch vampire flicks.


    37. CathyLong says:

      The woman said she was scared of THE LOST BOYS.

      OMFG. Seriously lady?!

    38. HoChunk says:

      I was scared of the Lost Boys. Corey Haim & Corey Feldman still haunt my nightmares.

    39. RSIxidor says:

      Good God. I can’t imagine how she reacts to movies that portray vampires as monsters instead of “cool kids.” The only part of that movie that scared me was the “Chinese food.”


    40. Puulaahi says:

      The Lost Boys is the best movie ever.

    41. Phyreblade says:

      @Puulaahi: Aha! ..As i suspected… 🙂

    42. Luke Magnifico says:

      @monkeyman767: Well fuckin’ duh.

      @Jas3n_bla: I’ve read them. Have you?

      King got the the seventh book in the line, and then looked back over the series, and saw all the mistakes he’d made that he couldn’t fix now, for obvious reasons.

      And then he said to himself, “Wheeeerrrl, looks like’n I’ma gonna have ta WING IT!”

      And then he wrote Dark Tower VII: The Dark Tower.

      And he wrote the ending that wasn’t.

      And then he apologised.

      At least he had that much decency.

    43. CathyLong says:

      I saw the comic version at ComicCon. All I thought was “WHY!?” but I haven’t read it. So who knows. Might actually be good. Anyone read it?

    44. CathyLong says:

      I saw the comic version at ComicCon. All I thought was “WHY!?” but I haven’t read it. So who knows. Might actually be good. Anyone read it? dark Towers, not Twilight.

    45. HoChunk says:

      @CathyLong: Yep.

      Book I: Good.
      Book II: Okay.
      Book III: Okay.
      Book IV: Best of the series.
      Book V: Interesting, in a name-the-homage kind of way…a downward slope that starts gradually.
      Book VI: May as well have been an epilogue to V and a prologue to VII (kind of like Dune Messiah was.)
      Book VII: All over the place; many blunders of basic epic-storytelling, and an ending like something out of one of the lamer Twilight Zone episodes…just a big, big disappointment.

    46. Jas3n_bla says:

      The point of the story was never to know whether or not Roland indeed makes it to the tower. The point is to find whether or not he finds redemption,the story isn’t a circle, it’s a spiral. I’m sorry that you’re just some bitchy fan who can’t take the fact that the story didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to. As far as the mistakes King made, those were mostly just in the first book, which he revised after finishing the series.

    47. Luke Magnifico says:

      @Jas3n_bla: And I’m sorry that you’re too much of a King fanboy to see what’s staring you in the face, or you’re so desperate for such an unnecessarily long series to have a satisfactory ending that you simply ignore it and pretend you’re happy.

      I’m not a King fan. I hate his work. It’s badly written and badly formulated. I picked up The Gunslinger on a friend’s recommendation, and once I’ve started a series, I have to finish it, or else it wins.

      Hell, I’m even reading Brsingr.

      Because I can’t let it win.

    48. @LukeV1-5:

      Yeah I read just halfway through your post and I was going to ask, why do you read all of them then. That’s very interesting. I think it would be the same for me, but so far I haven’t read one single book that I didn’t like. Yes I know, no standards.
      So what are some of your favourite writers then. Do you know Melvin Burgess.

    49. Luke Magnifico says:

      @dieAntagonista: Meh. I can take Burgess or leave him. I mean, on one hand you have Junk, or Bloodtide. Good books. I liked them.

      But then on the other hand, you have something like “An Angel for May”.

      What was he thinking?

      As for my favourite authors, I’m a traditionalist. Terry Pratchett will always reign supreme. People might moan, and say “Bawwww, it’s too childish, he doesn’t take it seriously enough”, but to that I say, fuck you, and your stupid beliefs. His writing’s incredible, and his stories are engaging.

      Of course, you can’t be forgetting Gaiman, or Arthur C. Clarke.

      There are some others, but those three would be my most favourite.

    50. @LukeV1-5:

      Wow. Ah see, I have read only Doing it and Bloodtide. Bloodtide is amazing, it’s one of my all time favourite sci-fi books. Junk and An Angel for May were on my list, but in that case I won’t touch May.

      Haha that’s funny. Ciarán, my friend who is the only other Irish person I know, actually met Terry. I don’t see what’s childish about his books though. Yeah he is incredible indeed.
      Aw yea, Gaiman. I’m still catching up, I need to read The Sandman as soon as possible.
      And I’m in mad love with anything Arthur C. Clarke. has ever written. So that was unexpected.

      I’m stumped. You’re full of surprises. Alright then, I guess you can criticise King all you want. Your taste in literature is exceptional.

    51. Luke Magnifico says:

      @dieAntagonista: Alot of people find the fact that Terry’s characters aren’t fighting wars against elves or slaying dragons every page childish. But those people are silly.

      As regards Gaiman, definitely get some Sandman, but also see if you can get your hands on Neverwhere. It’s awesome.

    52. @LukeV1-5:

      I see. Yeah people here aren’t any different. It’s gotta have elves, magicians or vampires, or else it’s clearly not hip enough.

      Sandman and Neverwhere. Will do.

    53. Putridity says:

      It’s still not any good.

    54. nyoki says:

      The only King novel I’ve ever been able to finish was “Insomnia”. I rather liked that one. I’m not sure why his novels have to be so long. I’ve had many people recommend his Tower series, but I’ve yet to get around to it.

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