The Elephant Queen

Directed by Mark Deeble, Victoria Stone. With Chiwetel Ejiofor. Athena is a mother who will do everything in her power to protect her herd when they are forced to leave their waterhole. This epic journey, narrated by Chiwetel Ejiofor, takes audiences across the African savannah, and into the heart of an elephant family. A tale of love, loss and coming home.

A story of an elephant group that starts out with a significant amount of childish whimsical story points, but then goes on to straight up pull the tears from your face. It’s well shot and looks beautiful on apple TV, but bring some tissues to wipe away your sadness.

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    Tales from the Loop

    Created by Nathaniel Halpern. With Rebecca Hall, Duncan Joiner, Daniel Zolghadri, Nicole Law. The townspeople who live above “The Loop,” a machine built to unlock and explore the mysteries of the universe, experience things previously consigned to the realm of science fiction.

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    If God Loves Me

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    Neo Classic Space Train

    Neo Classic Space Train

     

    Steve-3PO


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    Tacoma FD

    Created by Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme. With Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Eugene Cordero, Marcus Henderson. Comedic look at firefighters battling their own boredom.

    Did you like Super Troopers? You’ll like this!

    I did, and I did like this. This is hilarious and everything I wanted from Broken Lizard.

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    Lost in Mind

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    Bogatyr Mechanized Battle Armor

     

    Glorious destruction

    Glorious destruction

     

    Frozen II

    Directed by Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee. With Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Josh Gad, Jonathan Groff. Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, Olaf and Sven leave Arendelle to travel to an ancient, autumn-bound forest of an enchanted land. They set out to find the origin of Elsa’s powers in order to save their kingdom.

    Much more problematic than the first film, it’s still a fun franchise, but it really makes me wonder what was going through their heads when they stuck one random black guy in the group that had been kept prisoner by the northern spirits.

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    The Slammin’ Salmon

    Directed by Kevin Heffernan. With Michael Clarke Duncan, Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Jeff Chase. The owner of a Miami restaurant indebted to the mob institutes a contest to see what waiter can earn the most money in one night.

    When I was at the movie theater I saw an advertisement for a show named “Tacoma FD” which featured a few of my favorite guys from the Broken Lizard franchise, so I popped this in the dvd player the next night. I had forgotten how absolutely slam full this movie is with celebrity cameos.

    Honestly, this is still a hilarious movie that holds up pretty well, if you haven’t seen it yet, you owe it to yourself!

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    Legends of Solaris

    Charlie’s Angels

    Directed by Elizabeth Banks. With Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, Ella Balinska, Elizabeth Banks. When a young systems engineer blows the whistle on a dangerous technology, Charlie’s Angels are called into action, putting their lives on the line to protect us all.

    I like to think myself a fan of the franchise and in theory I like what was attempted in this, the 2019 movie that further expands the franchise both IRL and in the movie universe itself. That being said, I’m sad that this turned out to be an absolute dumpster fire of a movie with little regard for the technology that they were using as their McGuffin, from “corruption in the block chain” (ie, bad data in a spreadsheet) to using biometrics for root control of a system (never a good idea to use an unchangeable element to control your death machines), to some really nonsensical elements like using a four word passcode to dramatically unlock a safe house’s shutters. While you’re inside the safe house? Why not just have a hand crank? I would assume that if you’re already in the building, you have permission to look out the back window. We’re past the days of being able to have big dumb action replacing all reasonable thought like the previous two Angels films did. In that regard, this 2019 version of the film fits in with the other two, for better or worse.

    I would beat up on the film more, but honestly I hope that Elizabeth Banks gets another attempt at a franchise like Charlie’s Angels. I think if she had a better editor and better tech advisors this would have gone much better.

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