KEY CHAIN

 

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  • WEDDING

     

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    The VelociPastor

    Directed by Brendan Steere. With Alyssa Kempinski, Greg Cohan, Claire Hsu, Aurelio Voltaire. After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.

    This is a classic low budget fantasy science fiction film that knows what it’s working with and works it as best it can.

    Two choice quotes to get you interested:

    “Surprisingly little demand for lawyer hooker doctors.”

    “i fought some ninjas last night, maybe they followed me home”

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    Hustlers

    Directed by Lorene Scafaria. With Constance Wu, Jennifer Lopez, Julia Stiles, Mette Towley. Inspired by the viral New York Magazine article, Hustlers follows a crew of savvy former strip club employees who band together to turn the tables on their Wall Street clients.

    Strippers turn to the dark side and start running some schemes that hurt everyone they come into contact with. A well acted film with a premise that’s completely pedestrian. An easy watch if you’re into such things.

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    HAMMOCK

     

    RAMONES

     


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    IMPEACH

     

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    WEDDING

     

    BIKINI

     

    Shazam?

    Shazam?

     

    noodle pants

    trike bike

    book cover

    messing up a drawing

    useless computer cables

    Elizabeth Harvest

    Directed by Sebastian Gutierrez. With Abbey Lee, Ciarán Hinds, Carla Gugino, Matthew Beard. A brilliant man marries a beautiful woman and shows her his home, stating that it’s all hers – except a room she can’t enter. First chance she enters and discovers what might be human cloning. When the husband returns she pays the price.

    Sorta like Ex Machina, sorta like Replicas, but without the big budget of either one of those. That’s not to say this is a bad film, it’s just much smaller in scope.

    I particularly want to suggest the film, if only for you to be in on why it’s named “Elizabeth Harvest” and not “The Wedding Night Of Elizabeth”.

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    PornHub family photo

    Star Wars Rise Of Skywalkers Rotten Tomatoes Score Is A Travesty

    The critical reception to ‘Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker’ is baffling in the extreme.

    The failure to recognize that this was it, this was the final chance, that’s the reason that the critical response was so hostile. The Phantom Menace had the benefit of being the first new Star Wars content in decades, where as Rise of Skywalker is just another misstep in a long series of missteps.

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    The Blind Side

    Directed by John Lee Hancock. With Quinton Aaron, Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Jae Head. The story of Michael Oher, a homeless and traumatized boy who became an All-American football player and first-round NFL draft pick with the help of a caring woman and her family.

    A fun story of a huge kid in a depressingly shitty situation. It all ends well enough, but I wish we could solve these problems on a community level instead of just one kid at a time.

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