We’ve all had bad days, where nothing goes right. Kent Partridge, graphic designer, had no shortage of work, which most people would be glad of (and he was). Yet he had a bad day every day for the eighteen days prior to this. He had his work, but these six album covers were all past deadline and he had to get them in. They all turned out far from what the briefs had been because Kent allowed art to imitate life, and his life was a hellscape.

Clockwise from top left: 1) The day prior to throwing the cover of “Topple the Giants” together, Kent had attended a Ren Fair dressed as a Maypole. He had been refused entry by a short, bald-headed peasant bouncer who had the poor taste to also be wearing period sandals and no socks paired with a non-authentic Celtic vest made from polyester. Offering to wind all his ribbons in and tuck them up made no difference, and Kent was forced to go home without so much as one person winding him up at the fair. All three figures are basically Kent attacking the Ren Fair bouncer. The more accurate Maypole costume version was available in Japan and the Ukraine.

2) The day after the Ren Fair rejection, Kent was feeling anxious and went to the doctor. Instead of the Valium he asked for, he was subjected to a rectal examination by the doctor who was, frankly, a cowboy. The receptionist who was called in to assist did nothing to change Kent’s opinion. 3) This is what Kent did to the receptionist’s pants during the examination, at the end of which the doctor said that Kent had an exceedingly healthy set of tonsils. Kent was billed for the pants, and slapped with a lawsuit for damages, loss of dignity, leaving red and blue marks all over the receptionist’s ass, and bein’ ornery.

4) Kent went to find a lawyer. This is him trying to find one that would take his case, cost very little, and not laugh at the brief.

5) On the way back from his fifth failed lawyer appointment (it was the 70s, no-one wanted to defend a guy who ripped hard-working cowboy receptionist’s pants off while they were just doing their job), more shit happened. Kent being a lovely guy, always hopeful he might find a crowd for his Maypole Costume, picked up a group of Finnish tourist hitch-hikers. They seemed to be interested in the idea of the costume, which Kent kept in the back of his van, so he drove to the middle of a field and got bogged.

It turned out the Finnish tourists were saying “We want a spin to the Pub”, not “We want a spin around your Pole”. They threatened to report Kent, demanded he drive them to the local pub, all his cash, and refused to help unbog the van. This is what Kent thought of that whole episode, and what he muttered under his breath, plural, as he dragged. Took him four hours and a whole bottle of uppers he had been saving for the looming album cover deadline to get out. The Finnish tourists happily drank the five bottles of scotch Kent had stashed for an emergency.

6) Kent couldn’t stand up straight after the towing episode. For someone who values being strong, erect and tall, for Maypoling, this was devastating. Here Kent is picturing his spinal issues and his pain in a parody of a scene that looks like Becket is sharing a bit of banter with a woman who is loving every second of the breezy exchange. The woman was actually a five foot lass from Scotland who Kent tried to tell about his pain on a bus (he couldn’t drive he was so messed up), and who looked down at him from her impressive height and said he better move off perv, or I’ll fookin’ shiv ya.

Kent got the album artwork in, but was fired for recycling the same ideas he’d used the previous month, and the one before that. He could’t argue that, the whole Maypole thing was a bit distinctive.