Tiki Asks: How did you handle the worst news you’ve ever received?

I just got some pretty bad news.  It was a few days ago actually, so that day I didn’t have much of a reaction, but as time as moved on and things have sunk in, I’ve fallen deeper and deeper into despair without any clear vision of a way out of the situation.

It’s odd to me that I was just fine for a couple days, but then have it all hit at once, while I was doing just some mundane task.

We’ve obviously all received bad news, either about our own health or the health of our loved ones.

How did did you deal with it?

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    Stay off the sauce, and try to get moving physically. Numbing is nice but the news is tougher to deal with when you’re hung over. Activity brings the same distraction, and might uncover a well of emotion that you can get out, or work with, and move forward. Best wishes, and make a plan.


    Well, when my dad passed, I knew it was a matter of time. I had a four hour drive, of which I don’t really remember actually driving it, to get home and and prepare for the funeral. My mother’s passing was sudden. and I just dealt with it.

    My personal health has been a bit rocky. Getting a pacemaker, even though I was told three years before that in the beginning it was very much a chance of happening was NOT a great thing to hear or even think about. My stroke earlier was a bit jarring as well.


    I honestly do not know how I made it… A LOT of difficult things happened, quite literally all at once. The only thing I can say is don’t be afraid to ask for help; there is no reason to quietly suffer solo. Find a solid confidant or three, and put one foot in front of the other, day by day.
    Not to sound flippant or cliche; but you as an individual, and what you’ve built, are a part of many of our daily lives and you are very much appreciated.


    It’s not stupid.
    The thousand yard stare is normal.
    If it’s festering; dive in and rip off the band-aid before you are slowly poisoned to death from within.
    Cleaning it out does not mean dwell on it.
    You WILL get better.


    Talk to friends/family as much as you can. It can be related to the bad news or not, but keep talking to your loved ones.

    And in your specific case, know that there are a helluva lot of internet randos who love you and your unique place here.

    Brevity Truta

    I got no advice, Tiki. You strike me as a person that likes to fix things, so when something comes along that’s huge and what the fuck how is this fixable, then yeah, stupid big messy emotions are gonna come out and rip through, making it feel like you haven’t got shit sorted. I can’t say you have, I reckon you’ll have a fair crack at it though. It’s nice to see the support, you guys.


    Years of working on myself, and fondness for stoicism. Among other things.
    As for “oddness”. The Kübler-Ross model has five stages, so guess you were in the first one.

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