When I first moved to Europe I began saving condom package boxes… nothing that would be ever sold in America.
(here’s a few examples – my translations)

“Baby, I’ve got it covered”
“It does that when covered in rubber”
“I need it now”
“XL – just bite the pillow”
“Here comes loooooove”
“Trust me”/”I know what I’m doing” (lost in translation)
“Turn the phone off”
“Want to play “house”
“I can find the way in” (lost in translation)
“Let’s play torpedo” (popular phone game)
“OK, blow-job time is over” (lost in translation)
“Sex-Education homework kit”
“Let’s ask God for permission – OH GOD! OH GOD!”
“You be Eve, I’ll be the snake”
“Phone:__________________” (on condoms, for passing around)
“Want to see stars?”
“I be gentle (for the first 5 minutes)” (lost in translation)