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Allahu akbar

Added on September 4th, 2011 by | Report Post
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Advice God Ears.jpg (29 KB)

Advice God Humanity.jpg (65 KB)

Advice God Nipples.jpg (57 KB)

Advice God Right Wrong.jpg (75 KB)

Advice God Universe.jpg (64 KB)

“He works in Mysterious Ways” is just another way of saying “the peasants and fishermen that thought this shit up were pretty dumb”.


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    ian356094

    MAKE SET OF RULES FOR VILLAGE IN BRONZE AGE

    APPLIES TO EVERYONE EVERYWHERE FOR ALL TIME.

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    Alias

    xcuse me, good sir
    what particular set of rules do you mean?

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    Korinthian

    Depends on who you ask.

    Isn’t religion wonderful?

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    bstaples

    We’re blaming God for Rebecca Black now? Because that’s more of a “Satan” thing…

    Oh, and I’m tired of you never-been-touched-by-a-girl virgins talking shit about the male nipples. When you find a girl willing to be around you when topless, you’ll thank God for dem shits.

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    Korinthian

    No, horrible punishments is Yahweh’s thing. Satan is just doing what he was created to do.

    Satan’s the good guy in the bible.

    I guess you skimmed the genocidal god obsessed with blood parts of the “good” book, eh?

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    Jicty

    the second one is invalid, Adam and Eve had a daughter. she just gets less attention cause she didn’t bash anyone’s head in. but the last one is my favorite, why would a god put life on one planet then make hundreds of trillions (that we know of at least) of stars with planets orbiting most of them? Tell me that church boys and I may go back to church.

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    Korinthian

    Except that’s not in the bible.

    Where’d you get it? The book of Mormon?

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    Alias

    the book of mormon is rather irrelevant to all this
    that book really makes any argument invalid, because:
    1) God didn’t create the world, he was human before becoming a god
    2) Earth is just a filter to define those who worthy of being saved
    3) Everything you say or do is according to THE PLAN
    4) Any questions or arguments you have can be reduced to “It’s a matter of faith”
    No logic or reason applies

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    Korinthian

    I wish the book of Mormon was more irrelevant than it currently is.

    Reading it is not only a pain because of the ludicrous content, but also because it’s poorly written.

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    Jicty

    actually, I haven’t read any religious text since I was like 15, I just googled that cause I thought it was strange. and I saw a name of the daughter but I am too lazy to look it up again.

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    Jicty

    genesis 5:4 After he begot Seth, the days of Adam were eight hundred years; and he had sons and daughters.

    I am not religious in any way but Google is your friend.

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    Korinthian

    Well! There it is. I was wrong.

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    bstaples

    >why would a god put life on one planet then make hundreds of trillions (that we know of at least) of stars with planets orbiting most of them?

    So you’re confident that there’s no other life anywhere else?

    Korin, just stfu. We’ve already established you know absolutely DICK about the book you so ignorantly despise. You’re the worst kind of troll: unfunny and not banned. At the end of the Cain/Abel situation (Genesis 4:15) there were enough people around to be a threat to Cain. Or did you need a long-form birth certificate from every one alive at that point so that you could reach a fucking obvious conclusion? Did you think that Adam and Eve would’ve stopped fucking after the second kid?

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    Korinthian

    Don’t be stupid, they weren’t born back then, they were made by ribs and dirt (and they lived several hundred years! And they rode around on unicorns, goring witches and evil spirits!). Also, they probably couldn’t write (especially not well enough to make a two different creation stories that don’t contradict each other) to make any kind of certificates.

    I’m not surprised there’s a gaping hole in your quaint little book of folk tales, but I wouldn’t start thinking for myself if I were you; your god doesn’t approve of adding your own thoughts to that book (This should include the NT, and the book of Mormon).

    Also, you should pick a religion that doesn’t approve so much of incest; it’s kind of gross.

    Your religion is laughable. The small rational part of your brain must be hurting you defending these fantastical fantasies.

    But since you’re already at it: Do Lord of the Rings next!

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