Useless Superpowers

Added on January 5th, 2011 by Demon | Report Post
Tags:Comic Books, Humor

I`ve always wondered what it would be like to communicate with a banana.

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Reaver (#23648)

13 years ago

I would love to talk to apples

sambo78 (#8210)

Reply to Reaver

13 years ago

I was thinking about that one. What if the apple has something useful to say? Then it wouldn’t be a useless superpower.

A number of these would be useful in the right situation.

Acid tears would be useful if you’re getting raped. Just cry on you’re attackers dick.

Invisibility in the dark would be useful if you’re trying to sneak past a bunch of guys with night vision equipment.

Remote remote control could be used to take control of remote the Evil scientist is using to control his Evil Robot.

Trash detection would be useful in a restaurant.

If 75% levitation means what I think it means, then a person could skim along the ground and avoid any potential dangers, like landmines.

Summon a lamp once would be useful once. Haha.

Bullet attraction would be useful for other people.

I could go on.

dieAntagonista (#)

13 years ago

This reminds me of the useless superhero Alan. Created by the brilliant David Firth.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfAqNprqdZA

#makecasemdsgreatagain (#5034)

Reply to dieAntagonista

13 years ago

the fuck?
seriously what the fuck is that?
I got a headache from waching it

dieAntagonista (#)

Reply to #makecasemdsgreatagain

13 years ago

British insanity.

NotCasemods (#170986)

Reply to #makecasemdsgreatagain

13 years ago

Because you’re a fucking dumbass

Dreth (#983)

Reply to dieAntagonista

13 years ago

Reminded me of Burnt Face Man.

dieAntagonista (#)

Reply to Dreth

13 years ago

You’re right him too, although I don’t think of him quite as useless as I think of Alan.

Kishi (#3562)

13 years ago

The ability to engulf yourself in flame, but you aren’t immune to fire.

Aquaman43 (#85320)

13 years ago

Casemods has the ability to repel vagina and, I believe he talks to bananas nightly.

hvymetal86 (#2348)

Reply to Aquaman43

13 years ago

The bananas rape him at night.

Korinthian (#3174)

13 years ago

Invisibility in the dark and 1 second super strength aren’t useless at all.

If nobody else wants those powers, I’ll take them.

Paul_Is_Drunk (#796)

Reply to Korinthian

13 years ago

Seconded.

Chenoan (#14265)

13 years ago

Talking to fruit would make for great investigative sources. The Apple know everything you do.

Though Eating the apple might feel a little sad.

ian356094 (#3738)

13 years ago

super slo mo + orgasm = win

cpnichol (#1076)

13 years ago

Reminds me of the guy in Misfits who could use telekinisis, but only on milk and other dairy products.

traptin85 (#3559)

13 years ago

super slow mo would be very helpful, if you want more time to make a decision, or if you want a moment to last.
and what’s the recharge time on the 1 second super-strength?
oh, and who WOULDN’T want to be able to pick up a remote control from across the room?