Man Dies Because he Watched Twilight

352043-film-review-twilight-saga-eclipse.jpg (39 KB)

“A NEW Zealand man was found dead in his seat at a movie theatre.

The man’s body was found at a theatre in the capital Wellington about 8.30pm (local time) last night at the conclusion of the vampire film, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.”

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    You have been warned. Well that man wasn’t, but you are!


    faggotry kills


    Then how are you still alive?


    fapped too hard?


    I wonder if his body was completely drained of blood –


    No, but his asshole was left gaping from the faggotry.


    most likely suicide


    Yeah, he bought the ticket knowing what would happen.


    Died of embarrassment, I would hope.

    fracked again

    He was (sunglasses) bored to death.




    this is true, was a homeless chap. post-mortem results from memory came back as ‘not suspicious’ so maybe alcohol poisoning or natural causes or something


    Damn I knew it was a matter of time until someone died from seeing vampires glitter.


    Guy used to live on my street, no joke… He way always asking for cigarettes and had red wine vomit on his face

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