A day in the life of Obama (as envisioned by a typical Republican)

6:30 AM: Obama awakened by clock radio tuned to NPR’s popular morning drive-time show, Kronsky the Bomb Thrower and His Anarcho-Syndicalist Zoo. “You know what would be fun?” Kronsky quips. “Getting the workers to seize the means of production and execute the blood-sucking capitalist bosses!”

“If only,” mutters Obama.

7:30 AM: on way to Oval Office, Obama ducks into private chapel, slipping off shoes and prostrating self while facing Mecca. He chants high-pitched, ululating prayer to Allah in foreign tongue then before leaving, bows before busts of Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Hitler and Saul Alinsky.

7:40 AM: Rahm Emanuel enters Oval Office, gives Obama secret Illuminati handshake, says, “Good morning, Comrade President. The Iranian ambassador is here to discuss his scheme to undermine America’s security.” Obama says, “Show him right in.”

9:05 AM: Snack of sweetened camel milk served with dates, figs, pita and hummus. Then Iranian ambassador exits White House through secret tunnel so Fox News won’t see him.

9:30 AM: House Speaker Pelosi arrives to plot strategy for government takeover of lucrative garbage-collection industry. Obama gives her large suitcase full of cash for bribing Congressmen.

10 AM: Editors of New York Times, Washington Post, New Yorker arrive to receive weekly instructions.

11 AM: Daily intelligence briefing by CIA and Pentagon officials on activities of America’s enemies. Bored, Obama does crossword puzzle, then dozes off.

Noon: Lunch with leaders of world gay conspiracy, who lobby Obama to appoint a transsexual to Supreme Court.

2 PM: Quiet ceremony in Rose Garden, where elders of Kikuyu tribe give Obama plaque honoring him as first Kenyan to become President of U.S.

3 PM: Latte with key advisers Al Gore, Michael Moore, Rev. Wright, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Al Sharpton, Bill Ayers.

4 PM: Basketball with White House staffers. Obama’s side allowed to win, as usual.

7 PM: Dinner with family, leaders of Acorn.

9 PM: Obama reads a chapter from Das Kapital for Kids to Sasha, Malia.

10 PM: In private quarters, Obama, Michelle are so moved watching PBS documentary on suffering of poor widows and children
of al Qaeda suicide bombers, they decide to make contribution.

11 PM: Bong hits, anal sex, then sleep.

2:25 AM: Succubus enters bedroom, mounts sleeping President and has her way with him while whispering demonic instructions
for next day.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com


Send to Facebook | Send To Twitter
  • Leave A Comment

    Please Login to comment
    5 Comment threads
    5 Thread replies
    0 Followers
     
    Most reacted comment
    Hottest comment thread
    9 Comment authors
    mldoutlandersscconan776Dyna-MoleCaio's insect bride Recent comment authors
      Subscribe  
    Notify of
    Hob
    Member

    The real trick here is to cancel the 11 o’clock, so you have enough energy for the gay nooner!

    The sad part is that there are people out there right now that believe all of this and are just wondering why Rush didn’t break this bit of news first!

    #makecasemdsgreatagain
    Member

    Some one email it to fox news.

    Lemurian
    Member

    Hurray! More mindless humor in which group X1 denigrates group X2…

    TrAyVon'S GhOSt, nuCca
    Member

    ….with X1 never realizing how bad they make themselves look. Ever.

    outlanderssc
    Member

    And X2 never realizing that the joke is about how bad they make themselves look in the first place –

    conan776
    Member

    I was told there wouldn’t be math 🙁

    outlanderssc
    Member

    It seems you were misinformed

    deuce
    Member

    I totally call fake… cuz Muslims are required to pray 5x a day. That was my only tipoff.

    Awesome1
    Member

    This is why I voted for Nader

    mld
    Member

    this is why I voted for Vader…