Playing the Odds in Bear Country

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Learn it. Use it. Any questions?

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    Doesn’t actually tell you what to do in a Surprise Close Encounter, just tells the reader to know. If the reader knew, they likely wouldn’t be reading this.

    So, what do you do in a Surprise Close Encounter?

    Luke Magnifico

    Hadouken that bear right in the face and then run.

    Because bears are slow, and when you hurt them, they become docile and friendly.


    Every solution on that entire poster is either be with people, make noise, or know what to do in case of surprise bear-rape. How helpful.


    In Alaska?

    the best is most likely going to eat you.

    I like this advice.

    “Use your pepper spray”

    Personally. IF you are somewhere (like I dunno, ALASKA) were it is likely that a (THE LARGEST PREDATOR IN NORTH AMERICA) bear is going to eat you, and you do not have a gun – I am not sure that the bear eating you is the worst possible outcome.

    “Once you have partially discharged a canister of bear spray it should be discarded. While the spray may deter attacks, the smell of pepper can act as an attractor.”

    Now you’ve spiced yourself up, no ever bear in the state is going to eat you.


    Oh God, the deadly Alaskan Blue! KEEP AWAY!

    I live in Montana, where grizzly bears are so common they name football teams after them.

    The best advice I’ve heard is:
    1. Always hike with friends.
    2. You don’t need pepper spray if you can run faster than a friend.
    3. If you’re the slowest in your group, cut your buddy’s achilles tendon, then run.

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