Set your kids on FIRE!

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I saw a commercial for this last night, then saw the post of the magnet balls. While cool toys for adults, we all know that these items are going to kill kids. One more death provoking toy and I call this decade the “Era of Killing Children”.

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    This is nothing compared to this stuff we did as kids. It’s basically a skateboard with handlebars.

    Our parents would all be in prison for neglect is we had our childhoods now, and we would all have been kidnapped by paedos etc.

    The kid’s even wearing a helmet. This is not a time of killing kids, this is a time of pampering them.


    Then what do you call the era when lawn darts, chemistry sets, and easy bake ovens were popular?


    Oh, and the funny thing about these piece of shit scooters is that you have to buy refills for whatever makes them spark like that.


    Exactly. And they’ll stop selling the refills after about a year so you have to buy the even newer scooter which does the exact same thing but the refills are a slightly different shape so you can’t use them in your old one.
    Devious bastards!


    yup i totally agree kids are shielded from their selves when i was 5-14 i jumped biked bmx style no gear nothing but wind for safety we had for fights with rock and garbage can lids for shields all of our toys were DIE CAST not this edgeless plastic everything is molded from you really learned you’re own mortality and you don’t get up if you fall really really hard


    Sounds like my childhood… except we at least tried to find dirt clods instead of rocks. If the dirt clod had a rock or two in it, well, that was just your bad luck. 😉

    It was funny – I was looking at BB guns in WalMart the other day while on my way to the tennis section – did you realize that BBs are PLASTIC now? When the HELL did THAT happen?!?! How are you supposed to put out an eye that way??

    fracked again

    Better than that, a few years ago, they were advertising a Barbie on rollerblades that sparked. Basically had a flint and wheel for a lighter in the heel. I remember thinking that it was going to catch something on fire. Sure enough, a few months later, it was recalled. Dave Barry wrote up a piece about it.


    I got one of those rollerblade barbies for my third birthday. I could never make it spark.. 🙁


    Era of Killing Children? Please stop it, kids today are pu$$ies. If they don’t have a helmet, knee pads and elbow pads they can’t even walk out of the house.
    Lawn darts were mentioned. But how ’bout the battles with bottle rockets, roman candles or BB guns we hads as kids. Ahh, those were the days…
    And we had to walk 5 miles to school, in the snow, up hill, both ways!


    Take that helmet off, give the kid some lawn darts (jarts?)and a b-b gun, put him on a trampoline and give him some pop-rocks and a coke!
    While we’re at it some of those shrinky dink things that made the whole house smell of melting plastic and some of that petrochemical rich ‘balloon in a tube’ stuff to huff..

    Something about that kid makes me want to slap that smile right off his face too..


    Back in my day (HA! Barely more than a decade ago), I had a chemistry set that came with all sorts of compounds and heavy metals that are poisonous. And unsupervised model rockets. You can bet your ass they weren’t all pointed up, or even had rockets attached to the engines. And archery! Holy jumping jesus on a pogo stick, talk about dangerous. Of course, everyone had a miniature trebuchet, right? No? I’m the only one? Well forget you guys, hurling blue flaming tennis balls into the next neighborhood was awesome. But I’m still here, and in one piece no… Read more »


    Since when did razors use gas engines?