Paper Can’t Win

papercantwin.jpg (54 KB)

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no ****ing way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole

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    classic – but this game still works for when the “shot-gun” for the front seat displeases somebody, or when somebody doesn’t want to pay for beer/pizza/rent…


    Now THAT’s funny.


    I don’t care Who ya are…


    Paper can defeat rock because it’s made out of fucking wood. And wood eats rocks. Myeah.


    Wood eats rocks… what?


    Umm… Yeah. Just put the blunt down and slowly step back…


    No, think about it. Where does trees grow? In earth. Where is earth? On rocks. So the trees are living on rocks. So they’re stronger. I’ll stop talking now.


    This thing had over 2,000 diggs about a week ago. It’s pretty stupid what people deem important enough that everyone should see it. This is not original, and only mildly clever. And holy crap hep, wtf?