Chuck Norris


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    may chuck be with you.


    Chuck Norris visited The Virgin Islands…they are now just The Islands


    some kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses, chuck norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants.

    chuck norris does not go hunting because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure, chuck norris goes killing.

    superman owns a pair of chuck norris pajamas.

    death once had a near chuck norris experience.

    chuck norris died 10 years ago, the grim reaper just never had the courage to go tell him.

    it is said that the quickest way to die is to type in chuck norris on google search and press “im feeling lucky”.

    one last one: the dark is afraid of chuck norris.


    Colin, I just saw your myspace, are you like 11 years old? Holy shit.


    A few more little known facts about Chuck Norris:
    1. Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
    2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
    3. There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
    4. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
    5. The leading causes of death in the United States are:
    a. Heart Disease
    b. Chuck Norris
    c. Cancer.
    Chuck Norris is da man…


    Chuck Norris is overrated

    Before the boogie-man goes to bed he checks under it for chuck norris.


    people can pee their name into snow…chuck norris can pee his name into concrete.


    Chuck Norris is overrated? Blasphemy! You better pray to Chuck that you are never called to account for your sacrilege…

    tiki god

    If you’ve ever heard his ramblings, then you might think he was overrated, yes. He’s like a slightly more sane Ultimate Warrior…


    Ok… I am not generally a big fan of the Chuck Norris jokes, but “people can pee their name into snow…chuck norris can pee his name into concrete.” did make me laugh.


    Too bad ol’ Chuckie is a hardcore fundie Christian. Just read some of his articles at Scary stuff.


    Chuck Norris is one-eighth Cherokee. This has nothing to do with his heritage, the man ate a fucking Indian.



    “Chuck Norris is one-eighth Cherokee. This has nothing to do with his heritage, the man ate a fucking Indian.”


    heres one for ya 🙂

    Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

    this ones good too

    Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

    my fav

    When Chuck Norris drinks beer, Women get uglier.


    Chuck Norris can divide by 0

    Chuck Norris’ version of a milkshake is a candy bar wrapped in raw-beef

    The nordictrack was made by chuck norris in a failed attempt to make his enemies less pathetic

    if you say “chuck norris” into a mirror 7 times chuck norris roound-house kicks you in the ass

    the term brokeback mountain originally was used to describe the pile of dead ninjas on chuck norris’ front yard.

    chuck norris can believe it’s not butter

    chuck norris didn’t write his book he simply stared at the blank pages and the words assembled them selfs out of fear.

    someone once asked chuck norris if his first name is really charles. Chuck norris didnt answer he just stared at the guy until his head exploded.


    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.


    colin is actually turning 14 this friday.
    happy birthday me.



    I think you are a few days early. Really, you don’t want to rush it. You’ll look back and which you had those years back again… Trust me… 😉 LOL


    Chuck Norris is from Wilson, Oklahoma.


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