Toilet Paper Spider

I don't think I'll be wiping today...

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    I would have shit my pants…..before I made to the seat…


    Hehe, I know so many people who would desperately need to use that toilet paper after seeing that


    I’d rather have nasty skidmarks than go near that fucking thing. I’ll sacrifice my underpants to get a can of Raid. And use the whole damn thing.


    But that thing drinks Raid for an aperitif!


    The only way to get rid of it to sacrefice a virgin!… not it!


    Wow, that is one truly amazing spider. You don’t usually see them that big unless they’re also mega-hairy. I wonder what species it is, and where it lives.


    if that spider don’t leave you with a sore ass, then that hippie-fag recycled toilet paper will.


    It doesn’t appear to be a poisonous North American spider to me, unless I’m missing a serious identifying factor.

    So I would have probably played with it while I poop.

    The ATZ

    Only way to make this situation worse: Already be on the toilet, THEN notice Shelob sitting on the roll.


    Wait, isn’t this from Harry Potter?

    TrAyVon'S GhOSt, nuCca

    That picture sent my mind off on a tangent and it ended here:

    how come more blind people aren’t killed by poisonous insects or spiders?

    I mean a blind guy would have reached out like normal and BAM spider up the ass.

    Oh and it looks to be a variation of a wolf spider. I’m probably wrong though since spiders are gross and I don’t like them.


    Hey, you know what? I know what spider that is.

    It’s a huntsman spider.

    I know that because I started Googling for “large brown spider”, saw an arachnid that bore some resemblance to the one here, followed the link to the page referenced; followed a link from there … and … check this out.

    Look familiar? 😉

    Oh, FWIW, they’re harmless.


    i uhhh…i dunno if thats a huntsman dude, i live in Aus and trust me, i’ve seen a LOT of huntsman…huntsman i’m not so worried about, this thing freaks me right the hell out though!! Maybe its a different type of huntsman or somethin 😛


    In my opinion, even if it isnt poisonous, or harmful in any way shape or form, seeing a what you think to be killer spider (It HAS to have blood on his lips, or fangs, whatever you wish) and personally, i dont like to have a killer spider jump me, even if it is harmless, so before it does, I die out of sheer fear. Maybe not death, but at least a few hours of cleaning up my own fecal matter.


    Someone probably put their pet spider on the toilet paper roll and took a pic. I doubt a feral spider would perch in a spot like that so photogenically.


    Most of the really poisonous spiders are about the size of a loonie, more or less. That’s the scary shit. A huge spider isn’t likely to sneak in your shoe or under your covers, but a really poisonous spider will.


    If only Clock Spider would defend my toilet as viciously as hippie-recycled-TP spider does, I’d have no fear of the Piss Ninjas lopping off anything I need.


    cute little spider


    wanna know the darndest thing about these spiders as well? Spider spray seems to do nothing but piss’em off!! lol, i once took a can of Raid, spray a spider completely white with the stuff, it just started jumping like a kangaroo on crack!!!

    Then it kinda fell upside down…so i figured why the hell not, i sprayed the underside of it completely white as well and figured “Yeah, that’ll do the trick..” BWAHAHAHA. 10mins later the bastard thing started trying to crawl for the door :S in the end i just manned up and smashed it into the concrete with a shoe 😛

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