women are evil.

Comment by Drewlicious — August 14, 2008 @ 5:09 pm

That’s Teen Girl Squad in college

TGS — homestarrunner.com

Comment by LordOpie — August 14, 2008 @ 5:18 pm

TGS RULEZ! hahaha

This comic is pretty funny. I am going to steal the “not kissing you” line.

Comment by outofocus — August 14, 2008 @ 5:20 pm

again, IF YOU WANT A WOMAN TO PLAY WITH YER HARBALLZ, YOU HAVE TO HOLD YOUR MONEY BEHIND YORU BALLSACK

but remember, never give them money, just use it as an illusion to get their pooty

Comment by natedog — August 14, 2008 @ 5:44 pm

The corollary to what natedog is saying is: that for every rich douche with a trophy wife, there is a pool boy hitting it on the side.

Comment by reboot — August 14, 2008 @ 5:56 pm

I, sir, am that poolboy.

Comment by one — August 14, 2008 @ 7:08 pm

making me think about some lesbians I know

I must convert them to bisexuality

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

Comment by Ravenstein — August 14, 2008 @ 7:34 pm

i always suspect girls are kissing in public because they see a lot of it in porno. girls always emulate the porno, don’t they? how else do you explain how easy it is to get anal these days. i’ve even had an unsolicited atm. fucking bonkers.

Comment by Dyna-Mole — August 14, 2008 @ 9:09 pm

wow all you fail if you can’t say what this is from, or a take off of

Comment by Doctor Thompson — August 14, 2008 @ 11:12 pm

Simpsons did a similar joke with ellen degeneres and anne heche in the mel gibson episode

Comment by Dyna-Mole — August 14, 2008 @ 11:20 pm

Doctor Thompson, it’s by Patrick Alexander for Raymondo Person. Do I win now?

Comment by lefthandshoe — August 15, 2008 @ 6:59 am

Dyna, ATM’s are for getting money, NOT FOR BUTTSECKS

Comment by natedog — August 15, 2008 @ 10:00 am

Hmmm. I’m carefully reading reasons ‘A’ through ‘D’ and can’t help but ask this question: Soooooo why do you have a webcomic?

Comment by pedantic — June 13, 2008 @ 3:22 am

don’t forget that 500 horsepower doesn’t mean shit when you have an enormous cast iron engine and a 6,000 lb + chassis With a fucking dvd player and other useless shit that sucks power away from the engine.

Comment by thelotuseater725 — June 13, 2008 @ 4:17 am

Please get the fuck out of teh Internets.

Comment by unknown — June 13, 2008 @ 4:30 am

This would be a good blog post. Not really much point doing it as a comic with stick figures.

Trucks are for tards.

Comment by Howie Feltersnatch — June 13, 2008 @ 5:35 am

Been done before. Very, very often. Suck less.

Comment by LukeV1-5 — June 13, 2008 @ 6:36 am

buen trabajo Falco.

biena idea!

Comment by Numero 41 — June 13, 2008 @ 11:25 am

don’t quit your day job.

Comment by storminator — June 13, 2008 @ 11:52 am

Weak… someone has issues….

Comment by Elepski — June 13, 2008 @ 11:57 am

Also, A is usually followed by B, then C, ending with D.

Comment by Error401 — June 13, 2008 @ 3:12 pm

I think the A) 2) D) thing is form the movie Home Alone. Kevin’s brother… Bud, maybe… is listing things in the beginning of the movie and he used that sequence because he is dumb.
And I am a loser for knowing that.

Comment by Foinlavin — June 13, 2008 @ 4:21 pm

I would reply to this, but I’m too busy making a sammich.

Comment by ohmybob — June 10, 2008 @ 9:33 pm

brb

if i’m not in the kitchen when my man gets home, i’ll get a beating for sure!

Comment by imandynan0 — June 11, 2008 @ 2:05 am

Mysogyny is so hotttt.

Comment by Annarchy — June 11, 2008 @ 6:21 pm

Mmm 1950s

Comment by bluebec — June 11, 2008 @ 11:19 pm

Gold bikini* or GTFO

Comment by pedantic — May 26, 2008 @ 9:11 pm

No… Darth said: TITS or GTFO. None of this gold bikini nonsense.

Comment by s_devries — May 26, 2008 @ 9:22 pm

Lets go princess, you heard the man…

Comment by sutenvulf — May 26, 2008 @ 9:41 pm

V: I find your lack of tits disturbing

L: this are not the tits you are looking for (wave hand)

V: Obi Wan has thought you well.

Comment by el_metal — May 26, 2008 @ 10:57 pm

Incest or GTFO

Comment by Kero — May 27, 2008 @ 12:06 am

I dont’ think I’ve ever even contemplated doing more then just pee. Peeing is one of those “gotta get right on the first try” things that you absolutely don’t want to mess up.

Comment by tiki god — May 24, 2008 @ 4:29 pm

Agreed. I don’t think i could ever brush my teeth while peeing. Unless im in the shower then i can do all 3 at once, i’m a man-god.

Comment by Thrella — May 26, 2008 @ 7:29 am

I can piss and blow my nose at the same time, and both with 100% efficiency and accuracy.

Comment by pvdlkccfzs — May 26, 2008 @ 10:24 am

Pfft, that’s just the beginning.

Here in texas, you have the unspoken rule about if you own the land, you can pee on it. It’s quite interesting when getting up in the morning, and going for your morning stroll while brushing your teeth, having to pee.

Fortunately for me, I’ve learned that I can pee while walking, I just however should not do that when it’s windy.

Comment by Kaze — May 26, 2008 @ 10:50 am

The sad part is this was made by a woman, meaning women assume that the reason men piss all over the toilet seat is because they are multi-tasking.

Yeah not so much. We’re just that inaccurate sometimes.

In our defense however, when we piss on the seat from the morning-after-sex induced vurtually uncontrollable dual-stream, the woman must take partial responsibility.

Comment by pedantic — May 26, 2008 @ 1:05 pm

I can pee and refill a bong at the same time.

Comment by AlecDalek — May 27, 2008 @ 8:23 am

@ pedantic:
I always tell my wife that a free throw is a little more difficult than a slam dunk, and I’m bound to miss once in a while…

Comment by chillin789 — July 25, 2008 @ 2:00 pm

There’s a problem here?

Comment by gor — May 26, 2008 @ 7:43 am

Bitch prolly forgot to iron his shirt, too.

Comment by LordPartyTime — May 26, 2008 @ 10:40 am

who said she could go to the store?

Comment by natedog — May 26, 2008 @ 11:14 am

Assumption being that she doesn’t want to be spanked…? She’s prolly tryin to figure out how to piss him off enuf to bring out the bamboo.

Comment by nyoki — May 26, 2008 @ 12:15 pm

Alternate Caption?:

Raise your hand if you’ve had a better lapdance.

Comment by Kandorr — May 26, 2008 @ 12:26 pm

^^^^^^^^^^^^
LOL!

Comment by colonel-yum-yum — May 27, 2008 @ 4:01 am

Mmmm a good spanking… who cares about the coffee. She looks like she’s enjoying it

Comment by bluebec — May 27, 2008 @ 7:29 am

I like to store-test the bathroom products.

Comment by AlecDalek — May 27, 2008 @ 8:25 am

going to be wall-paper on the wife’s computer?I think so…

Comment by GrandAdmiralThrawn — May 31, 2008 @ 3:56 pm

So, I’m a rapist. I’m gonna rape me a woman, and she ends up having one of these items shoved up inside her lady parts. As a rapist do I :

1.) Scream and cry
2.) Run for a hospital
3.) Beat the ever loving shit out of the poor girl that had the misfortune of having this situation happen to her.
4.) All of the above.

I vote for #4. I’m not a rapist*, but I can imagine what would be going through my head if my dick got trapped in a needle condom.

*(I only play one on TV)

Comment by tiki god — May 19, 2008 @ 10:22 pm

My dick hurts just looking at that thing.

Comment by Zen — May 20, 2008 @ 6:16 am

From the product website

Won’t the rapist kill me?

Sadly, many women have been killed over time, as nobody can guarantee the outcome of any rape! However, the huge plus-factor is that the discomfort and pain is such, that the rapist would be disabled temporarily, (much worse than a kick in the groin that self-defence instructors teach women!) giving you time to get away and get help.

Comment by Nimbo — May 20, 2008 @ 6:20 am

I’d hit it.

Comment by Ando — May 20, 2008 @ 7:18 am

Yeah, to be fair I’d much rather get smacked in the junk than have needles in my dick. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather have no cock-based damage, but it’s the lesser of two evils. I should also probably point out that I’m not, nor have I ever been/will be a rapist. So you know, hopefully no needle-wang for me

Comment by Alpha Harrison — May 20, 2008 @ 7:32 am

So, you prevent the trauma and possible disease transmission of a rape by… causing the rapist to bleed profusely into your vagina?

Comment by Phil Elmore — May 20, 2008 @ 7:33 am

One could just stick his finger in there first, so he doesn’t lose his cock. even just put it in a little bit, and if there’s plastic, take it out (the plastic that is). Then commence rapage.

Comment by merthsoft — May 20, 2008 @ 7:38 am

Well, it’s not perfect, but as far as rape goes, the guy is trying to do something truly horrible to you, this would at LEAST get you some immediate revenge.

Like the snuff film episode of CSI. the guy killed the chick with a knife, she bled on his face, into his eyes. Turns out, she had aids. So, as they put, “You killed her, she killed you right back. So where there is the problem of “ouch, that hurt, now you’re dead!”, The point is, the guy’s going to have to go to a hospital and get this things taken care of. Sticky questions arise, Cops get called, he gets busted. Which, of course makes you no less dead.

The thing that frightens me is, you know this girl, maybe you date, you leave her cause, I dunno, maybe she’s a psycho bitch. She decides to get you back. She invites you over, promising to do that thing she got mad at you for trying. You fall for it (idiot), and then where are you? YOU’RE the guy that just dumped her, came running back, she SWEARS she didn’t want you to come over, and now, YOUR junk is mangled in an “automatically your fault” device.

Just playing Devil’s Advocate here. I do think the device is a good start to stopping rape, but remember not to ever think of it as an automatic rapist buster. The dude could be anal raping you. Then you’re royal screwed.

Comment by MacheteJak — May 20, 2008 @ 8:23 am

@MacheteJack
If a psycho chick wants to mangle your junk and you’re not smart enough to stay away from her, then then it doesn’t matter if she has an anti-rape condom or a kitchen knife.

Comment by reboot — May 20, 2008 @ 8:39 am

I’d imagine most instances of mangled dicks come from women forgetting they had it in.

Comment by Sneaky Snake — May 20, 2008 @ 9:13 am

See this is why I only rape ass.

Comment by mAgnUS BUTTfoorson — May 20, 2008 @ 9:59 am

@reboot: I agree.

Comment by MacheteJak — May 20, 2008 @ 10:20 am

i read an article that said this thing was mainly for use in places like africa, where men do not understand rape is not cool, or simply don’t care.

Comment by silverflux — May 20, 2008 @ 10:54 am

Rapists often will kill a victim, but probably not with their junk being chewed on by a mechanical apparatus. Since the device appears impermeable, it doesn’t seem likely there will be blood contamination. And I sincerely doubt many rapists have ever fingerbanged a victim before committing their crimes.

If you’re worried about being caught off-guard by a “psycho chick”, just check before you go in. A good half hour of oral is usually enough to get a woman warmed up for the main event, and will let you know in fairly short order if she’s got anything hidden away that you should know about. (Plus, odds are pretty good that if you’re doing oral with her, she’s not going to want to rip your dick off.)

And if you believe that a woman could “forget [she] had it in”, you almost certainly have virtually no knowledge of vaginal anatomy — or of women.

Comment by warren — May 20, 2008 @ 10:56 am

not like i needed another one, but that is a great reason to go down on a chick before you do her. even the psychos. because, let’s face it, we’ll do them all… crazy or not.

i’ve never hit a woman, but if i found one of these- i’d beat the crap out of her, i’m sure.

Comment by storminator — May 20, 2008 @ 10:58 am

@warren: I agree that most women could not forget that they had it in, but some do forget they have tampons in, which leads to Toxic Shock Syndrome.

Comment by MacheteJak — May 20, 2008 @ 11:56 am

VAGINA DENTATA!!!!

Comment by lycrof — May 20, 2008 @ 12:02 pm

And here I thought it was just another S&M toy

Comment by DasMaus — May 20, 2008 @ 12:04 pm

I’m a rapist ^.^

Comment by bright green — May 20, 2008 @ 12:32 pm

That is right lycrof, that was the first thing i thought of as well. FYI, in the novel Snow Crash the female character has one in her. When the bad guy tries to have sex with her she forgets that she had it in her and he gets a nasty surprise. Though in the novel the needles had a strong tranquilizer that knocked out the guy for a while.

Comment by General X — May 20, 2008 @ 12:46 pm

If the rapist is asian though, they might be able to avoid the spike strip like a ninja.

Comment by frogurtx — May 20, 2008 @ 12:58 pm

Wearable Box Jellyfish FTW!!

Comment by Phyreblade — May 20, 2008 @ 1:32 pm

Step 1: Find out she has this thing in her vagina.
Step 2: Beat the everloving shit out of her, rip it out and rape her.

Problem solving: FUN!

Comment by Gunface01 — May 20, 2008 @ 1:44 pm

Heh, I looked up the same exact shit with that vagina denata stuff going around a couple days ago.

As for crazy bitches that just want to fuck you over, I learned a valuable lesson a long time ago. Only dip your wick into sane, healthy women. You might get laid less, but it’s worth it in the long run.

@ Gunface
I was thinking more along the lines of curling iron and/or bengay covered dildo. You can’t rip it off without serious damage occuring.

Comment by Tony — May 20, 2008 @ 2:45 pm

That thing looks pretty damn rigid - you would have to be a fool (or never got any) to not realize that she has some kind of booty trap (that’s what I said - booty trap) in her cooch.

Comment by THE_GTC — May 20, 2008 @ 4:55 pm

I might be late, but I have to say it…

FAIL on many levels. STD’s for one. Vengeance would be a problem too. How do you know that the rapist won’t try to come back (if he went away in the first place) and kill you later for messing up his penis?

Here is a much more practical solution. http://www.gunshopfinder.com/s.....on36LS.asp
I’m guessing it’s also more comfortable. I don’t have a vagina, but I think I can make an educated decision related to the uncomfortable nature of that device.

Much better odds on success.

Comment by Gus_Johnson — May 20, 2008 @ 5:37 pm

@ Gus_Johnson

I saw the gunshopfinder link and clicked it hoping to find a one shot vagina gun.

Comment by Typhoid_Garry — May 20, 2008 @ 6:52 pm

So ah, has anyone done any stats on this? Has it had any effect? Has a woman somewhere been raped since this story first hit about 20 years ago? Is this just another one of those things that bitter unattractive women forward to each other, thinking on some level that this is some kind of empowerment?

Comment by AlecDalek — May 20, 2008 @ 7:50 pm

i think if your that worried about rape u should go ahead and just buy a gun.

Comment by shakemaster — May 20, 2008 @ 11:22 pm

Holy Fuck. Literally.

Comment by Mystik — May 21, 2008 @ 10:18 am

i’d rather just have a gun.blow the fucker’s kneecaps off instead of sticking that contraption in me

Comment by EpicFail — May 21, 2008 @ 10:54 am

I just wanna know what chick is walking around w/ this thing in her vagina just in case she might get raped. Tampons are uncomfortable enuf; what must that thing feel like?

Comment by nyoki — May 22, 2008 @ 12:27 am

So… if you read the faq at the site, apparently it goes all the way in, you cant tell if its in, it feels like a tampon, will be too late before rapist figures it out… sounds legit, ill remember never to rape anyone.

Comment by davids125 — May 22, 2008 @ 1:37 am

@Mystik
I seriously doubt that there would be anything “Holy” about it…

Now “holey” on the other hand… That would accurately describe the rapists equipment after this…

Comment by Phyreblade — May 22, 2008 @ 2:17 am

now i kinda want 3 hands..

Comment by Madru — May 3, 2008 @ 3:05 pm

The triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6?

Comment by ohmybob — May 3, 2008 @ 3:19 pm

“now i kinda want 3 hands..”

No, no, no…two breasts to squeeze, then the middle one to suck on.

Comment by Tattooed-Geek — May 3, 2008 @ 3:41 pm

That’s the girl from “Good Luck Chuck” right?

Comment by fatkidsay — May 3, 2008 @ 4:05 pm

Reminds me of Total Recall.

Comment by MikeBabaguh — May 3, 2008 @ 4:24 pm

Ohh ooooooh so that’s what the third one is for!

Comment by Madru — May 3, 2008 @ 4:31 pm

pixels!

Comment by irkusk — May 4, 2008 @ 12:17 am

Ahh…to be Zaphod Beeblebrox…

Comment by reptilecobra13 — May 4, 2008 @ 12:22 am

This totally beats any other fantasy I’ve ever dreamed of.

Comment by Bran — May 4, 2008 @ 1:53 pm

Bonus: delicious placenta.

Comment by reboot — May 3, 2008 @ 2:39 pm

I’d be put off by the nose

Comment by numb7rs — May 3, 2008 @ 3:40 pm

Those titties may be sexy for 9 months (more if breast feeding), but when the well dries up, everything else moves south.

Way down south.

Comment by Skipper — May 3, 2008 @ 6:01 pm

thats one sharp shnozz

Comment by TrikYodz — May 3, 2008 @ 7:57 pm

Fat tits are still just fat tits. It’s not the same.

Comment by AlecDalek — May 4, 2008 @ 8:57 am

Keep in mind the only positive thing to come out of pregnancy is the temporary boob thing, besides that it’s all torture. I prefer to get big boobs from another woman than sit through endless bitching and moaning and one big gross ball growing on a skinny body. It’s like a failed Alien egg.

Comment by Dreth — May 4, 2008 @ 9:13 am

…and apparently over the course of 9 months your hair will grow only a fraction of a millimeter? lol

Comment by mgear — May 4, 2008 @ 11:46 am

where’s the part that shows a big ass?

Comment by natedog — May 4, 2008 @ 6:39 pm

pregnancy is so not with it

Comment by EpicFail — May 4, 2008 @ 7:09 pm

*worth** i am retarded :[

Comment by EpicFail — May 4, 2008 @ 7:10 pm

I love her :3

Comment by DemolitionsGeek — April 23, 2008 @ 9:24 pm

shuddup and get in the Kitchen

Comment by TrikYodz — April 23, 2008 @ 9:37 pm

Rob Corddry looks different with hair.

Comment by mAgnUS BUTTfoorson — April 23, 2008 @ 10:03 pm

real men shower.

DO IT FAGGOT

Comment by natedog — April 24, 2008 @ 8:45 am

DISHES
do them now.

Comment by pedantic — April 24, 2008 @ 1:52 pm