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Jewish Wisdom

4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 54 votes, average: 3.50 out of 54 votes, average: 3.50 out of 54 votes, average: 3.50 out of 54 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 18th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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During a conversation between an Irishman and a Jew, the Irishman asked
how it was that the Jews were so wise.

“Because,” said the Jew, “we eat a certain kind of fish;” and he offered
to sell one for ten dollars.

After paying his money, the Irishman received a small dried fish. He bit
into it, then exclaimed: “Why, this is only a smoked herring.”

“See?” said the Jew. “You are getting wise already.”

from TikiHumor.com

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For Love Or Money

4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 17th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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“Yes,” said the old man to his visitor, “I am proud of my girls and
would like to see them comfortably married, and as I have made a little
money they will not go penniless to their husbands. There is Mary,
twenty-five years old, and a really good girl. I shall give her $1000
when she marries. Then comes Bet, who won’t see thirty-five again. I
shall give her $3000, and the man who takes Eliza, who is forty, will
have $5000 with her.” The young man reflected a moment and then asked,
“You haven’t one about fifty, have you?”

from TikiHumor.com

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Elegant Confessions

7 votes, average: 4.43 out of 57 votes, average: 4.43 out of 57 votes, average: 4.43 out of 57 votes, average: 4.43 out of 57 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5 (7 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 17th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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An elderly couple are having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. During desert, the old man leans over and says to his wife, “Dear, there’s something I have to ask you. It’s always bothered me that our 10th child never quite looked like the rest of our children. I must know: Did he have a different father?”

The wife drops her head, unable to look at her husband. “Yes,” she admits. “He does.”

Tears well up in the old man’s eyes. “Please,” he says, “Can you tell me who it was?”

The woman pauses while mustering her courage. Then she says, “You.”
– The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink…

from TikiHumor.com

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Knowledgable Proposals

1 vote, average: 4.00 out of 51 vote, average: 4.00 out of 51 vote, average: 4.00 out of 51 vote, average: 4.00 out of 51 vote, average: 4.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 16th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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“He proposed to me last night, mother. What shall I do?”

“But, my dear daughter, you’ve only known him three weeks.”

“I know that, mother, but on the other hand if I delay in accepting him
he might find out some things about me he won’t like, too.”

from TikiHumor.com

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Blonde Globe

6 votes, average: 2.50 out of 56 votes, average: 2.50 out of 56 votes, average: 2.50 out of 56 votes, average: 2.50 out of 56 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5 (6 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 15th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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Blonde : “I would like to have a globe of the earth.”

Sales Man: “What size, madam?”

Blonde: “Life-size, of course.”

from TikiHumor.com

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Worms

2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 52 votes, average: 3.00 out of 52 votes, average: 3.00 out of 52 votes, average: 3.00 out of 52 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 14th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A seventh grade Biology teacher arranged a demonstration for his class. He took two earth worms and in front of the class he did the following: He dropped the first worm into a beaker of water where it dropped to the bottom and wriggled about. He dropped the second worm into a beaker of Ethyl alchohol and it immediately shriveled up and died. He asked the class if anyone knew what this demonstration was intended to show them. A boy in the second row immediately shot his arm up and, when called on said: “You’re showing us that if you drink alcohol, you won’t have worms.”
— Sat June 13 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit

from TikiHumor.com

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Foreman Vs Laborer

2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 14th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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Foreman: “‘Ow is it that little feller always carries two planks to
your one?”

Laborer: “‘Cos ‘e’s too blinkin’ lazy to go back fer the other one.”

from TikiHumor.com

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A Scot Drinks In London

5 votes, average: 2.60 out of 55 votes, average: 2.60 out of 55 votes, average: 2.60 out of 55 votes, average: 2.60 out of 55 votes, average: 2.60 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 2.60 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 13th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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Wishing to give his Scotch steward a treat a man invited him to London,
and on the night after his arrival took him to a hotel to dine. During
the early part of the dinner the steward was noticed to help himself
very liberally to the champagne, glass after glass of the wine
disappearing. Still he seemed very downhearted and morose. Presently he
was heard to remark, “Well, I hope they’ll not be very long wi’ the
whisky, as I dinna get on verra weel wi’ these mineral waters.”

from TikiHumor.com

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“Do you think I shall live until I’m ninety, doctor?”

8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 12th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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“Do you think I shall live until I’m ninety, doctor?”

“How old are you now?”

“Forty.”

“Do you drink, gamble, smoke, or have you any vices of any kind?”

“No. I don’t drink, I never gamble, I loathe smoking; in fact, I haven’t
any vices.”

“Well, good heavens, what do you want to live another fifty years for?”

from TikiHumor.com

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Minnesota Party

9 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5 (9 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 10th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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Sick of the city, Sam quits his job and moves to Minnesota, as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. After six months of isolation, someone knocks on his door. A huge bearded man is standing on his porch.

“Name’s Lars,” the man says, “from down the road. Having a party Saturday. Wanna come?”

“Definitely,” says Sam. “After six months out here, I’m ready to meet some people.”

“Gotta warn you,” says Lars, “there’s gonna be some drinkin.’”

“No problem: I can drink with the best of them,” says Sam.

“More’n likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”

“Well, I like people,” Sam says. “I’ll be there.”

Lars starts to walk away, but then turns back. “I seen some wild sex at these parties, too.”

“Not a problem,” says Sam. “I’ve been alone for six months! Just one question, though: What should I wear?”

Lars shrugs. “Whatever you want. It’s just gonna be the two of us.”
The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink…

from TikiHumor.com

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Jesus and Satan have an argument

6 votes, average: 4.33 out of 56 votes, average: 4.33 out of 56 votes, average: 4.33 out of 56 votes, average: 4.33 out of 56 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5 (6 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 6th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge.

They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously for several lines of code streaming up the screen. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity.

Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he had come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, “I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out.”

“Very well, then.” said God, “Let us see it Jesus fared any better.”

Jesus entered a command, and the screen came to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir poured forth from the speakers.

Satan was astonished and stuttered, “But how? I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”

God chuckled and replied, “Jesus saves.”

from TikiHumor.com

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Friday Points of Interest

3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Site News on June 5th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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1.  I am now off work

2.  I haven’t had alcohol in nearly a week

3. I have 2 cases of beer here in front of me

4. It is STORMY AS FUCK in my local area

5. I’m on Twitter.

6. I’m online, please send me a message.

7.  I’m still trying to figure out a much better chatting system.  My plan is to sacrifice as many braincells and livers to the alcohol gods as necessary.

8. have you noticed that all my posts have had tags for the last week or so?  yeah, I’ve got a system now.  A system to tag shit.

9.  I’ve finished 3 beers in the time it took me to write this.

10. I have nearly 200 people on my AIM buddy list, yet I haven’t gotten a single IM since I signed on 30 minutes ago.

prison for the next 20 years

7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 5th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.

She went downstairs and looked all around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner and facing the wall crying.

She asked him, “What’s wrong with you?” He replied: “Remember when your father caught us together, when you were 16?”

“Remember,” he said, “I had a choice: I could either marry you, or be sent away to prison for the next 20 years.”

Baffled, she said, “Yes.”

The husband bawled, “I would have gotten out of prison today.”
– The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink…

from TikiHumor.com

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Four types of women having sex

14 votes, average: 3.21 out of 514 votes, average: 3.21 out of 514 votes, average: 3.21 out of 514 votes, average: 3.21 out of 514 votes, average: 3.21 out of 5 (14 votes, average: 3.21 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 4th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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Four types of women having sex:

1. Asthmatic – ah…ah..ahh

2. Obedient – yes, oh yes…ah yes,

3. Greedy – more..more..pls

4. Religious – oh god..oh..oh my god…oh my God!!!
– Wed June 2 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit

from TikiHumor.com

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What Do You Want For Lunch?

1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 4th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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What Do You Want For Lunch?.

Click here to vote, afterwards, you may suggest a fight

Recently On Internet-D

3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 3rd, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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The new Star War MMO Intro, People have sex with the air, and alcoholic Tiny Toons! All this and more over at INTERNT-D!

Pointless Paranoia, Meet Pistol Packin

9 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 59 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5 (9 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on June 2nd, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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(A young man asks for a ticket for an R-rated movie and hands me his ID. I’m about to sell him the ticket when the lady behind him speaks up.)

Lady: “Wait! That picture in the ID doesn’t look like him at all!”

(I look at the ID. It appears he’s been sick since the photo was taken, but it’s clearly the same guy.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m fairly certain that this is the correct ID. Now, if you’d just step up–”

Lady: “No! You can’t sell to someone with a fake ID. He could be a terrorist, for God’s sake! You should call the police!”

Me: “Ma’am, that is definitely not necessary. I am responsible for checking identification, and I–”

Lady: “I need to talk to your manager!”

(I begin to respond, but the guy politely waves me off and turns to the woman.)

Man: “Miss, I have another photo ID here, with a more recent picture. Do you think this matches?”

(He pulls a card out of his wallet and hands it to her. She goes completely white.)

Lady: “Well… um… yes, that’s, uh, fine!”

(She squirms for a moment, then exclaims, “I’ll be right back!” She drops the card and leaves the theater in a hurry. I give the guy his ticket.)

Me: “What was that you showed her?”

Man: “Oh, my handgun permit.”
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes » Pointless Paranoia, Meet Pistol Packin’

from TikiHumor.com

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Tiki is on twitter

6 votes, average: 2.00 out of 56 votes, average: 2.00 out of 56 votes, average: 2.00 out of 56 votes, average: 2.00 out of 56 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5 (6 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Site News on June 2nd, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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you can twitter at me if you so desire:

twitter.com/tgiokdi

why am I on twitter?  BECAUSE I’M A CELEBRITY, AND THAT’S WHAT WE CELEBRITIES DO.

please let me know if anything is confusing to you, I’ll be sure to help you out.

NSFW Content

3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 53 votes, average: 3.33 out of 53 votes, average: 3.33 out of 53 votes, average: 3.33 out of 53 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
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Posted in Site News on May 29th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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Should it be as a normal post on the front page?  or should it be linked to from the sidebar?  or not shown on the front page at all, and only listed on the nsfw.myconfinedspace.com subdomain?

[edited to say: the reason I bring this up, is that I was getting a little frustrated with 2 or 3 back to back posts that were not much more then just a link to another page.  seems like I'm pageview whoring.]

is you good at halo3?

3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 53 votes, average: 2.33 out of 53 votes, average: 2.33 out of 53 votes, average: 2.33 out of 53 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)
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Posted in Site News on May 28th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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I need people that are gud at halo 3 to help me get an achievement or two.  add me on 360: TGIOKDI


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