Nine Words Women Use
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(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine.”
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a not word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “you’re welcome.” That will bring on a “whatever”
(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying you are in big trouble.
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology
*Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, because they know it’s true
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callahan auto parts
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that’s what she said
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Still Mourning
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Karen had lost her husband four years prior and was having trouble moving on. Her daughter, seeing that her Mom was lonely, repeatedly urged her to start dating. On her daughter’s advice Karen finally went on a blind date.
After dating for just six weeks Karen and her new boyfriend fell in love. Eager to move the relationship to the next level he asked her to join him for a weekend at his cabin by the lake.
Their first night there, she undressed and stood nude in front of him except for a pair of black lacy panties.
“Why the black panties?†he asked.
“My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning.â€
He knew he wasn’t getting lucky that night, so he kindly suggested they just go to bed. The following night saw the same scenario. There she stood wearing her black panties. Without saying a word he took off all his clothes. He was naked except for a black condom that he had on.
She looked at him and asked curiously, “What’s with the black condom?â€
“I would like to offer my deepest condolencesâ€, he replied.
– The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink…
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Religious Convictions
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orgasm donor
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Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Ah crap, it’s a satellite.
– ISS To Become Second Brightest-Object In the Sky
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mexican baseball
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Digg / Reddit / Etc
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man, you know what I haven’t seen in forever?
MCS on the front page of Digg or Reddit or whatever. Seriously, go vote that shit up kids!
Also, did you know? I got a new website! First one to name it gets to add posts to it.
[edit: Mr. Bungle wins. Pls visit and submit your movie tie-ins to the appropriate site.]
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canoe ride
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“I nanea no ka holo o ka wa’a i ke akamai o ke ku hoe.”
One can enjoy a canoe ride when the paddler is skilled.
–Old Hawai’ian saying
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Think Twice
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“I’ll bet you have to think twice before you leave your wife alone at night.†one man said to the other. “I’ll say.†replied thesecond, “First, I have to think up a reason for going out. Second, I have to think up why she can’t go with me.â€
– Mon Mar 9 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit
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Fucking shit yeah, I fixed that profile shit that I broke. And now, I’ve removed that annoying as shit openID logo that showed up for everyone that wanted to use openID to log in.
Don’t know what OpenID is? neither do I, but it’s useful when you figure it out.
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Did I fix the profile thing?
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Did I fix it? Can you see the dashboard?
Try logging in and seeing if you see the image that was shown in that other post.
