textually active
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what the hell is an aluminum falcon
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Slight Site hickup
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as some of you may have noticed, the themes were going hay wire last night.
I believe i have fixed the situation that caused the program and now we’re back to full speed.
so a question for you: did you even notice?
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reptar on ice
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What do you like most in me
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A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?’ He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ‘I like your sense of humor!’
via Fri Aug 14 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit.
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wtf platypuss
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why so syria
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where the wild things were
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were 1
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wake and bake
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too legit to quit
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the malibu sands
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south korea’s got seoul
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the final countdown
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bovine university
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borophyll
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Post/comment update
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Sometime in the last week we broke the 25,000 posts and 200,000 comments barrier. here’s where we are now:
25,195 Posts
201,022 Comments
So I got one questions for you:
Do you have another 25,000 posts in you?
Do you have another 200,000 comments to make?
So how about that? huh? what do you think of that?
I’ll be in the chat room for the next hour or so. see you there.
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army of none
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Kids are smart
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’ GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this kid)
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I.. ‘
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE:All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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Woman’s VS Man’s Poem
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WOMAN’S POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man, who’ll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?â€
I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend.
MAN’S POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs Who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This Doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a crap.
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