The Tech Support Caller Warning System

13 votes, average: 4.00 out of 513 votes, average: 4.00 out of 513 votes, average: 4.00 out of 513 votes, average: 4.00 out of 513 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5 (13 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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TechSupport.gif
Low Stupidity Condition Signifies a caller offers little or no risk of causing the tech a cranial aneurysm. This is usually a calller who understand that most technical “secrets” are cleverly concealed in the mysterious things called “manuals.” Recommendation: Cherish these ones.
Suspicious Stupiditity Condition Signifies a caller who is suspected of weapons-grade stupidity, without any real evidence. Recommendation: Send “inspectors.”
Elevated Stupidity Condition Indicates a significant risk of stroke in the tech cause by a caller who insist that “there is no ‘any key’ on the keyboard” and that “there’s no way I can click on ‘you computer’ from over here.”Recommendation: Slow Breating exercisiese and a good punching bag.
High Stupidity Condition Indicates a high risk of an apoplectic fit. callers insist that their operating system is “netscape,” their web browser is by “Logitech” and the specific application that blew up on them is “Microsoft.” (Heh) Recommendation: Join a Zen Monastery
Severe Stupidity Condition Indicates the highest risk possible. Adrenaline overload and renal failure caused by callers who angrily state that they have a degree and are in fact very clever, and that the tech must “hop to it and fix things.” When asked to “open a window” they do in fact get up and open a window. Alas. Recommendation: a large bludgeoning instrument. For you or them, it’s really your choice.

From our friends over at User Friendly

  • Satellite Picture of Kennedy Space Center

    7 votes, average: 3.71 out of 57 votes, average: 3.71 out of 57 votes, average: 3.71 out of 57 votes, average: 3.71 out of 57 votes, average: 3.71 out of 5 (7 votes, average: 3.71 out of 5)
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    kennedy_space_centre.jpg


    I believe this is from Google Earth, but I’m not sure…either way, this is the Kennedy Space Center down here in Florida. You can see the crawler (upper left on the roadway) that transports the fully assembled shuttle from the hanger bay to the launch pad. I’ve been to the space center a couple times, and while it’s damn interesting, it can be boring, because the place is simply so damn huge, and much of it is offlimits now. (thank you terrorists!)

    Mountain go BOOM.

    6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 56 votes, average: 3.50 out of 56 votes, average: 3.50 out of 56 votes, average: 3.50 out of 56 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5 (6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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    With recent news of volcano blowing up, I figured a kickass picture one one cooking off was in order.

    Iraqi Sandstorm

    5 votes, average: 4.00 out of 55 votes, average: 4.00 out of 55 votes, average: 4.00 out of 55 votes, average: 4.00 out of 55 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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    Found this out in the vast wasteland that is the internet. I remember seeing this picture back when it was new, and there was a whole series of them. This is some serious stormage, but I wonder how it compares to a hurricane? It somewhat reminds me of the opening scenes of “ID4: Independence Day” where the alien spaceships are coming down, and the clouds are billowing towards the earth. On here, it’s mother nature that’s rolling across the desert, and she can be much more of a bitch then any spaceheaded aliens.

    [EDIT]:
    Look at that, my first double post! Looks like I had this up before.

    Redneck Pacifier

    5 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
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    So, I’ve heard it all before, kids should not be an extention of their parent’s ill humor towards humanity, but this is simply too good to pass by. If/when I have kids, they will surely have pacifiers much like this one.

  • Go Break Yo Self Fool!

    5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5)
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    “If it’s hard to grasp
    why disable people
    need this space,
    WE SUGGEST:
    Go and break
    your fucking spine.”

    Sounds painful, but makes a good point. My office has a window overlooking the parking lot, and the handicapped spot is right by me. You have no idea how many times I see rather spry looking people jumping out of their cars.

    Love you long time!

    8 votes, average: 4.00 out of 58 votes, average: 4.00 out of 58 votes, average: 4.00 out of 58 votes, average: 4.00 out of 58 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5 (8 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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    “I will not love
    you long time”

    A rather disgruntled lookin gal here, eh? The t-shirt is a response to the classic “Full Metal Jacket” line.

    Would you put a T-Rex on YOUR ark?

    10 votes, average: 4.20 out of 510 votes, average: 4.20 out of 510 votes, average: 4.20 out of 510 votes, average: 4.20 out of 510 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5 (10 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)
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    n8312447_2653552_7645.jpg

    Say that you though god was going to blow up / flood the world, and he had chosen you to go out and take up a pair of each animal. Would you take a T-Rex? or how about a pair of Raptors? I know everyone thinks they’re all cuddly and shit, but lemme tell you, after the honey moon, life gets rough.

    No Means…..whoa!

    12 votes, average: 4.17 out of 512 votes, average: 4.17 out of 512 votes, average: 4.17 out of 512 votes, average: 4.17 out of 512 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5 (12 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)
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    “No means
    Eat me out first.”

    Yeah baby!

    What would MacGyver do

    10 votes, average: 4.00 out of 510 votes, average: 4.00 out of 510 votes, average: 4.00 out of 510 votes, average: 4.00 out of 510 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5 (10 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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    macgyver.jpg

    Just what would MacGyver do? Make some kind of cool shit outta a toilet paper roll and some bailing wire! That’s what!

    Serenity / Firefly Movie Posters

    6 votes, average: 3.33 out of 56 votes, average: 3.33 out of 56 votes, average: 3.33 out of 56 votes, average: 3.33 out of 56 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5 (6 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
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    serenity.jpg

    I simply cannot belive that I haven’t purchased this movie yet. /sigh being poor does suck sometimes, yeah?

    11.jpg

    Super Puppy!

    12 votes, average: 4.00 out of 512 votes, average: 4.00 out of 512 votes, average: 4.00 out of 512 votes, average: 4.00 out of 512 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5 (12 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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    image011.jpg

    This is somewhat funny, because I have a dog that has the same kind of floppy ears. I think it would be hilarious if I threw him around and his ears did this, but unfortunately, he weighs in at 50 pounds. Not exactly a small sack of potatoes to be tossed about! What a flying puppy!

    Tom was delicious

    20 votes, average: 3.60 out of 520 votes, average: 3.60 out of 520 votes, average: 3.60 out of 520 votes, average: 3.60 out of 520 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5 (20 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
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    cf539879d118a168b7bbf6dd31af9395.jpg

    Ok, we’ve all seen the “missing cat/dog/gerbil” contact me if you find him /sob/sob/sob posters on telephone poles and various walls and alleyways. This is rather funny though: over one of these missing posters for a cat named “Tom”, someone’s put a sheet of paper that says “your cat was delicious” and “tom was delicous”. This is rofl funny, yes?

    You do not have permission to access to /girl on this server

    15 votes, average: 4.20 out of 515 votes, average: 4.20 out of 515 votes, average: 4.20 out of 515 votes, average: 4.20 out of 515 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5 (15 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)
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    1089201707-5.jpg

    A parody on 404 error :
    “Forbidden
    You don’t have permission to access /girl on this server.”

    What would Cthulhu Do?

    9 votes, average: 3.00 out of 59 votes, average: 3.00 out of 59 votes, average: 3.00 out of 59 votes, average: 3.00 out of 59 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5 (9 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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    wwcdsig3uq.jpg
  • In car / In window A/C!

    5 votes, average: 2.80 out of 55 votes, average: 2.80 out of 55 votes, average: 2.80 out of 55 votes, average: 2.80 out of 55 votes, average: 2.80 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 2.80 out of 5)
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    AC
    Let’s talk about ghetto. Not only is that a window A/C unit in this dude’s car, but that’s a damn generator strapped to the truck.

    Jesus! WTF

    9 votes, average: 3.67 out of 59 votes, average: 3.67 out of 59 votes, average: 3.67 out of 59 votes, average: 3.67 out of 59 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5 (9 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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    jesuswtf

    There are christmas lights on the 5th story of a building (dorm perhaps) that spell out “Jesus”. Might be a religous celebration, or maybe an exclamation of dorm pleasures. Either way, the people on the 2nd floor are somewhat mystified, so they’ve put up their own christmas lights that spell out “WTF”.

    pure comedy genius!

    Free Cat!

    10 votes, average: 2.80 out of 510 votes, average: 2.80 out of 510 votes, average: 2.80 out of 510 votes, average: 2.80 out of 510 votes, average: 2.80 out of 5 (10 votes, average: 2.80 out of 5)
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    Another oldie but goodie :

    catdead

    Free cat!

    Nudist Beach

    7 votes, average: 3.57 out of 57 votes, average: 3.57 out of 57 votes, average: 3.57 out of 57 votes, average: 3.57 out of 57 votes, average: 3.57 out of 5 (7 votes, average: 3.57 out of 5)
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    435hj

    NUDIST BEACH

    Fat chicks prohibited beyond this point

    Steam Punk Claw Glove

    4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 54 votes, average: 3.50 out of 54 votes, average: 3.50 out of 54 votes, average: 3.50 out of 54 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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    1143187830_anub_ru_device.jpg


    I have no explanation for this device, but I think it’s cool as fuck.