E.T. Rages

Stranded

One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship

As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.

Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a good cigar?”

“Ten years,” replied the amazed Irishman

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.

He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. “Faith and begorrah,” said the castaway, “that is so good! I’d almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!”

“And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of good Bushmill’s Irish Whiskey?” asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, “Ten years.”

Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink. ” ‘Tis nectar of the gods!” shouted the Irishman. ” ‘Tis truly fantastic!!!”

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, “And how long has it been since you played around?”

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”

via Stranded « Bits & Pieces.

reposted from www.tikiwebgroup.com

I Don’t Think We’re Not in Kansas Anymore, Toto

Google’s April Fools was a bit of a letdown this year.

watermellon killer

underwater balloons

mega man is leaf man

incarcerated americans 1920-2006

I’m not doing shit today

fuck – get over it

barney says that sharing is piracy

anheuser busch logo

a wild snorlax blocks your screen

YAAAAAAAAH Right through your monitor

404 – the tubes have been filled

this is not a computer

peek-a-boo – zombie jesus sees you

palin narf

On the first day, man created God – anonymous

How does this perry ellis shirt look?

I got it for $25 on sale at ross

midgets on segways

for a list of way in which technology has failed to improve our quality of life, press 3

flying scorpion

filthy, dumb, NEWFAG SCUM

family guy then and now

carl sagon on pot

booster gold and blue beatle stole the cookies

blue hair – red eye

the lantern rings

sad space story

That’s no RPG! That’s a Canon!

That’s no RPG! : pics.

regional map of US and Canada

play them off cat x3

left 4 dead – dust bowl

I’ve been drinking with skeletons

Ipod Uno Game

infinity gas milage

ellen page in black and white

Elastigirl looses her panties

crapple logo

dwight is dreamy

the justice league is going to fuck you

shoe testing technology

sand storm

nintendo revolution

nerdy girl looking over a book

my dad molested me

hot to infuriate a christian

Girls are Shitty Locks

get money, fuck bitches, smoke trees

douglas adams on beautiful gardens