PSYCHO

 

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  • KNOB

     

    I cant take my dog to the park anymore he keeps getting attached by ducks

    I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog

    Via

    TRICK R TREAT

     

    why did the cows return to the marijuana field

    It was the pot calling the cattle back.

    Via

    RENAULT

     

    SUGAR

     

    In my twenties I was known for two things Being single and my awful handwriting

    I was the most illegible bachelor in town.

    Via

    CORVETTE

     

    DOUBLE LIFE

     


  • OUTER SPACE HELMET

     

    THE FLYING WOMBAT

     

    BEACH

     

    ALBUMS

     

    Warm Suicide

    A beautiful woman is standing on a bridge, looking over the side and thinking about jumping off.

    A homeless man walks up to her.

    She sees the man coming and says, “Go away! There’s nothing you can say to change my mind!”

    He says, “Well, if you’re going to kill yourself anyway, why don’t we have sex? At least I’ll enjoy it.”

    “Absolutely not! You’re disgusting!”, she replies. The man turns and starts walking away.

    “Is that all you’re going to say? You’re not going to try to convince me that life is worth living? Where are you going?”

    “I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you’ll still be warm!”, he says.

    Via

    CLOTHESPIN NOSE

     

    My doctor tells me I’ve got a bacon addiction

    Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.

    Via

    KGW’s Maggie Vespa responds to viewer asking her to “dress like a normal woman”

    KGW reporter and anchor Maggie Vespa received feedback from a viewer last week telling her she “looks foolish” for wearing high-wasted panted. The viewer dou…

    Maggie Vespa wants to make a fashion statement during every broadcast, but then feels outraged when someone (rightfully) calls her out on the high waisted pants?

    Then she says that guys never have that problem? Guess she didn’t hear about all the shenanigans with Adam Driver’s topless Star Wars scene.

    Via

    BUMPER STICKER

     

    SCULPTURE

     

    What’s least spoken language on earth

    Sign language

    Via

    SURPLUS

     

    JAWS

     

    Today I bumped into the guy who had sold me an antique globe

    It’s a small world.

    Via

    LINCOLN