the golfing nun

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A nun walked into Mother Superior’s office and plunked down into a chair. She let out a sigh heavy with frustration.

‘What troubles you, Sister?’ asked the Mother Superior. ‘I thought this was the day you spent with your family.’

‘It was,’ sighed the Sister. ‘And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.’

‘I seem to recall that,’ the Mother Superior agreed. ‘So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?’

‘Far from it,’ snorted the Sister. ‘In fact, I even took the Lord’s name in vain today!’

‘Goodness, Sister!’ gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. ‘You must tell me all about it!’

‘Well, we were on the fifth tee…and this hole is a monster, Mother-540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green…and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted…and it hits a bird in mid-flight !’

‘Oh my!’ commiserated the Mother. ‘How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!

”No, that wasn’t it,’ admitted Sister. ‘While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!’

‘Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!’ sympathized the Mother.

‘But I didn’t, Mother!’ sobbed the Sister. ‘And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!’

‘So that’s when you cursed,’ said the Mother with a knowing smile.

‘Nope, that wasn’t it either,’ cried the Sister, anguished, ‘because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!’

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said… ’You missed the fucking putt, didn’t you?’

via Bits and Pieces

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

epic spill

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0d08de73510b60dfb155baacb0a423cb epic spill Nature Humor

yellowandpink epic spill Nature Humor

1979 Pontiac Trans-am Anniversary Edition

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transam2 700x525 1979 Pontiac Trans am Anniversary Edition Wallpaper Cars

transam1 700x525 1979 Pontiac Trans am Anniversary Edition Wallpaper Cars

transam 700x525 1979 Pontiac Trans am Anniversary Edition Wallpaper Cars

25k miles on it
not for sale

Optical Illusions

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opticall illusions 700x656 Optical Illusions Visual Tricks Sports Humor

lol soccer.

stupidity level 9999

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BP spill sign stupidity level 9999 Humor Deepwater Horizon

Sekindo

SwitchAds

Sparkler Tracer

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122 0507 700x525 Sparkler Tracer Weapons Wallpaper

Assassin wallpaper

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assasin 700x437 Assassin wallpaper Wallpaper Humor

Mario-BP The shutoff valve is in another castle

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bp Mario BP The shutoff valve is in another castle mario Gaming Deepwater Horizon

Bacon Burger Dog!

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hotdog 421x700 Bacon Burger Dog! Food Awesome Things

Deadliest Drugs

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drug 307x700 Deadliest Drugs Science!

My favorite time of day

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day 700x388 My favorite time of day Humor

Doctors Visit

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I went to the doctor’s the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female; absolutely drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, “Don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll help you in any way I can.”

So I said,
“I think my penis may taste funny…”

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

horsalisk

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Oral love is dead.

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oral love Oral love is dead. wtf Humor

*sniff*

Leapin` Leopards

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leopard 700x525 Leapin` Leopards Wallpaper Nature

They can do that??

Left brain or right?

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brain 700x620 Left brain or right? wtf Science!

I`m right down the middle.

Kimpokemon

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500x kimpokemon Kimpokemon pokemon North Korea

www.boingboing.net/2010/06/15/painting-kim-jong-il.html

haters ghana hate

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haters ghana hate 700x525 haters ghana hate wtf Sports Humor forum fodder

Meanwhile in america…

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BP spill sign Meanwhile in america... Humor Deepwater Horizon

Bloodsport

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Arrgh 700x420 Bloodsport Wallpaper Movies bloodsport

JC VanDamme

serious asswhooping