Quotes

Home Forums Flaming Quotes

This topic contains 950 replies, has 47 voices, and was last updated by  crewmanguy 2 years, 2 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 951 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #300716

    “Hell yeah giraffes eat lions.

    It just makes sense.

    Evolution is key, right?

    So giraffes, by the thingy of evolution, have grown to be exceedingly tall.

    Now, if you’re a prey animal on the plains, you don’t want to be tall. Then things can kill you, and eat you. You don’t want that either. You want to be small enough to use the grass as cover.

    Lions are low enough to use the grass as cover. Sure, they have claws and teeth; when a giraffe’s hoof is coming at you, you need to be able to defend yourself. Trampling by giraffe is the number 1 cause of trampling-related death in lions.

    Some may say, “But Luke, uncontested master of time, space and the infinite cosmos, surely the giraffe’s teeth are too flat, more inclined to a vegetable diet!”

    And I say this:

    When your main hunting method is trampling, you combine in yourr tactic killing and tenderizing. By the time a giraffe has run over a lion’s corpse a few times, it is soft enough to be spread on a sandwich.

    As for tearing the meat from the carcass, this is where the giraffe’s long neck comes into play. Are you familiar with the physical principle of centripetal motion?

    Probably not. It’s not very interesting.

    Essentially, the giraffe’s long neck, and hence, the distance of the head from the fulcrum of motion, means that when the giraffe lowers its head and spins around, there is a great amount of acceleration at the top of the head.

    It takes 2 giraffes to eat a lion, and not for the reason you would think.

    First, one giraffe lowers its head and begins to spin. The other picks up the lion in its mouth. It can do this, because of magic. It also begins to spin. When the first giraffe has reached the optimum speed, the second giraffe launches the lion towards the first. At which point, the first lion grabs part of the lion with its teeth. With such great velocities coming in opposition, the linear velocity of the lion and the angular velocity of the giraffe, the piece of meat is easily torn from the carcass. When the first giraffe has fed, the system is practiced in reverse.

    And that is how giraffes eat lions.”

    - LukeV1-5


      Quote
    #300717

    Fatnhornee43
    Member

    “Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from the corn field.”
    Dwight D. Eisenhower


      Quote
    #300718

    Fatnhornee43
    Member

    “God does not play dice.”
    Albert Einstein


      Quote
    #300719

    “Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.”

    - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.


      Quote
    #300721

    egosumnemo
    Member

    Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don’t eat pork. I’m sorry, what was that last one? Don’t eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?
    -Jon Stewart


      Quote
    #300722

    Fatnhornee43
    Member

    “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.”
    Dwight D. Eisenhower


      Quote
    #300725

    “If i did get into psychological healthcare, id be overworked sorting through all the headcases and drugwhores here in MCS”

    - KommissarKvC


      Quote
    #300726

    Fatnhornee43
    Member

    “If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.”
    Albert Einstein


      Quote
    #300727

    outofocus
    Member

    “Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” – Voltaire


      Quote
    #300729

    Fatnhornee43
    Member

    “No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”
    George S. Patton


      Quote
    #300730

    “It’s art, just look at it as art. Yeah, it’s disgusting, but that’s never gonna happen. Go to the Vatican and look at some of the artwork there. Woah! That’s real, representing something that could happen. Monsters are never gonna come ripping out of your body.”

    -George “corpse grinder” Fisher*

    * Discussing the Cannibal Corpse’s usually gory album cover art, specifically “The Wretched Spawn”‘s cover art in Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey


      Quote
    #300732

    Haha Ian, I’m *almost* convinced.

    “In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up.”

    - Martin Niemoeller


      Quote
    #300733

    Fatnhornee43
    Member

    “Not everybody goes to movies to get their life changed.”
    Samuel L. Jackson


      Quote
    #300734


      Quote
    #300736

    egosumnemo
    Member

    “Not everybody goes to movies to get their life changed.”
    Samuel L. Jackson

    I hope that was in reference to Snakes on a Plane.

    Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
    - Wendell Johnson


      Quote
Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 951 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.