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army of none

0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5 (0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on August 4th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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army of none army of none Military interesting Humor

 army of none Military interesting Humor

 army of none Military interesting Humor

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Kids are smart

1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on August 4th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’ GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this kid)

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I.. ‘

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’

MILLIE:All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

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Woman’s VS Man’s Poem

4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 54 votes, average: 4.75 out of 54 votes, average: 4.75 out of 54 votes, average: 4.75 out of 54 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on August 3rd, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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WOMAN’S POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man, who’ll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend.

MAN’S POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs Who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This Doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a crap.

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drive shaft

0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5 (0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 27th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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drive shaft drive shaft rss post

 drive shaft rss post
 drive shaft rss post

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down in front

2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 52 votes, average: 4.50 out of 52 votes, average: 4.50 out of 52 votes, average: 4.50 out of 52 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 26th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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down in front down in front interesting

 down in front interesting
 down in front interesting

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SwitchAds

Project Wonderful

Recently On Internet-D

2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 25th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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Woot off lights, Tron Trailers, Twitter and FUCK YOU by Lily Allen!

do a barrel roll

3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 25th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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do a barrel roll do a barrel roll interesting

 do a barrel roll interesting
 do a barrel roll interesting

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cyber de Milo

1 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 24th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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cyber de milo cyber de Milo wtf interesting Humor

 cyber de Milo wtf interesting Humor
 cyber de Milo wtf interesting Humor

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Thur July 23 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit

1 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 24th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, “I don’t have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!” The man arched an eyebrow. “Anything?” “Yes, anything” the blonde promised. With that, the man said, “Follow me” He walked into the next room and ordered, “Come in and close the door” She did. He then said, “Get on your knees” She did. Then he said, “Take down my zipper” She did. He said, “Go ahead…take it out” She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, “Well… go ahead!” The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly “HELLO…..MOM, can you hear me???

via Thur July 23 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit.

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The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink…

0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5 (0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 23rd, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. The doctors were at a loss so they decided to try one last quasi-medical trick.

They went to her husband and said, “As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.” The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they’d close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife’s room.

After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flatlined—no pulse, no heart rate.

The doctors ran back into the room. “What happened!?” they cried. The husband said, “I’m not sure—I think maybe she choked.”

via The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink….

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let’s fuck – all I need is u

0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5 (0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 23rd, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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lets fuck all i need is u let’s fuck – all I need is u interesting Humor

 let’s fuck – all I need is u interesting Humor
 let’s fuck – all I need is u interesting Humor

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I’m on a boat

0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5 (0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 22nd, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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im on a boat I’m on a boat rss post

 I’m on a boat rss post
 I’m on a boat rss post

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I gave my word to stop at third – but I didn’t

0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5 (0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 21st, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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i gave my word to stop at third but i didnt I gave my word to stop at third – but I didn’t rss post

 I gave my word to stop at third – but I didn’t rss post
 I gave my word to stop at third – but I didn’t rss post

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captain save-a-hoe

1 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 20th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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captain save a hoe captain save a hoe rss post

 captain save a hoe rss post
 captain save a hoe rss post

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Life repeats itself

4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 19th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is having friends.

At age 16 success is having a drivers license.

At age 20 success is having sex.

At age 35 success is having money.

At age 50 success is having money.

At age 60 success is having sex.

At age 70 success is having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is having friends.

At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

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bullshit dog

5 votes, average: 4.60 out of 55 votes, average: 4.60 out of 55 votes, average: 4.60 out of 55 votes, average: 4.60 out of 55 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 19th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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bullshit dog bullshit dog rss post

 bullshit dog rss post
 bullshit dog rss post

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living statues

5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 18th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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There are two statues in a park…one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, “As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.”

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running off together behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, “You still have fifteen minutes left.”

The male statue asks the woman statue, “Would you like to do it again?”

“Oh, yes let’s,” she replies “but let’s change positions. This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down, and you shit on its head.”

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bobby boucher football camp

2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 18th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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bobby boucher football camp bobby boucher football camp rss post

 bobby boucher football camp rss post
 bobby boucher football camp rss post

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Clever Speeder Part II

9 votes, average: 3.44 out of 59 votes, average: 3.44 out of 59 votes, average: 3.44 out of 59 votes, average: 3.44 out of 59 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5 (9 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 16th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Pennsylvania State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball”.

He replied, “Pennsylvania State Troopers don’t have balls”.

There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he’d just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.

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AWARDS FOR THE MOST FRIVOLOUS SUCCESSFUL LAWSUITS IN THE USA

2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 15th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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5th Place (Tied)
Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson’s son.

5th Place (Tied)
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th Place (Tied)
Terrence Dickson of Bristol , Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place
Jerry Williams of Little Rock , Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

2nd Place
Kara Walton of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place !!!!!
This year’s runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma . Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner’s manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles

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