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do a barrel roll

3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 53 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 25th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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do a barrel roll do a barrel roll interesting

 do a barrel roll interesting
 do a barrel roll interesting

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cyber de Milo

1 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 24th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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cyber de milo cyber de Milo wtf interesting Humor

 cyber de Milo wtf interesting Humor
 cyber de Milo wtf interesting Humor

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Thur July 23 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit

1 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 24th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, “I don’t have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!” The man arched an eyebrow. “Anything?” “Yes, anything” the blonde promised. With that, the man said, “Follow me” He walked into the next room and ordered, “Come in and close the door” She did. He then said, “Get on your knees” She did. Then he said, “Take down my zipper” She did. He said, “Go ahead…take it out” She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, “Well… go ahead!” The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly “HELLO…..MOM, can you hear me???

via Thur July 23 « Lefturn’s Funny Shit.

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The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink…

0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5 (0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 23rd, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. The doctors were at a loss so they decided to try one last quasi-medical trick.

They went to her husband and said, “As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.” The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they’d close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife’s room.

After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flatlined—no pulse, no heart rate.

The doctors ran back into the room. “What happened!?” they cried. The husband said, “I’m not sure—I think maybe she choked.”

via The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink….

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let’s fuck – all I need is u

0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5 (0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 23rd, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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lets fuck all i need is u let’s fuck – all I need is u interesting Humor

 let’s fuck – all I need is u interesting Humor
 let’s fuck – all I need is u interesting Humor

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I’m on a boat

0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5 (0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 22nd, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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im on a boat I’m on a boat rss post

 I’m on a boat rss post
 I’m on a boat rss post

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I gave my word to stop at third – but I didn’t

0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 50 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5 (0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 21st, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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i gave my word to stop at third but i didnt I gave my word to stop at third – but I didn’t rss post

 I gave my word to stop at third – but I didn’t rss post
 I gave my word to stop at third – but I didn’t rss post

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captain save-a-hoe

1 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 51 vote, average: 3.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 20th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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captain save a hoe captain save a hoe rss post

 captain save a hoe rss post
 captain save a hoe rss post

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Life repeats itself

4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 19th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is having friends.

At age 16 success is having a drivers license.

At age 20 success is having sex.

At age 35 success is having money.

At age 50 success is having money.

At age 60 success is having sex.

At age 70 success is having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is having friends.

At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

from TikiHumor.com

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bullshit dog

5 votes, average: 4.60 out of 55 votes, average: 4.60 out of 55 votes, average: 4.60 out of 55 votes, average: 4.60 out of 55 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 19th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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bullshit dog bullshit dog rss post

 bullshit dog rss post
 bullshit dog rss post

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living statues

5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 18th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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There are two statues in a park…one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, “As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.”

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running off together behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, “You still have fifteen minutes left.”

The male statue asks the woman statue, “Would you like to do it again?”

“Oh, yes let’s,” she replies “but let’s change positions. This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down, and you shit on its head.”

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bobby boucher football camp

2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 52 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 18th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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bobby boucher football camp bobby boucher football camp rss post

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Clever Speeder Part II

9 votes, average: 3.44 out of 59 votes, average: 3.44 out of 59 votes, average: 3.44 out of 59 votes, average: 3.44 out of 59 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5 (9 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 16th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Pennsylvania State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball”.

He replied, “Pennsylvania State Troopers don’t have balls”.

There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he’d just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.

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AWARDS FOR THE MOST FRIVOLOUS SUCCESSFUL LAWSUITS IN THE USA

2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 15th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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5th Place (Tied)
Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson’s son.

5th Place (Tied)
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th Place (Tied)
Terrence Dickson of Bristol , Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place
Jerry Williams of Little Rock , Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

2nd Place
Kara Walton of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place !!!!!
This year’s runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma . Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner’s manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles

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a midget with a speech impediment

5 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 14th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, “How will I recognize him?” “That’s easy, he’s a midget with a speech impediment.”

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse. “A female horth.” So he shows him a prized filly. “Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth”?

So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over. “Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth”?
So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears.

“Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf”? The rancher is gettin’ pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse’s mouth.

“Nith mouf, can I thee her twat”?

Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget’s head as far as he can up the horse’s twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.

“Perhapth I should rephrathe that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit”?

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thundercats hoe

6 votes, average: 4.00 out of 56 votes, average: 4.00 out of 56 votes, average: 4.00 out of 56 votes, average: 4.00 out of 56 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5 (6 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 14th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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thundercats hoe thundercats hoe interesting

 thundercats hoe interesting
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world’s greatest divorce letter

16 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (16 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 13th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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Dear Connie,

I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I don’t care about looking bad anymore. I don’t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it’s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says “There’s no one like you, Connie.” I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they’re not you. They’re not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Raffles and brought her home with me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, maybe 20, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent roller skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn’t believe and an ass that just wouldn’t quit. Every man’s dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we’ve made important in our lives. It’s all so superficial.

What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I’m getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I’m never really thought of that before.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just growing up a little. Later, after I tossed her about a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, “Why do I feel so drained and empty?” It wasn’t just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn’t feel the same because you weren’t there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I’m just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Suzanne, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn’t eating right without a woman around. I didn’t know what she meant till later, but that’s not the real story.

Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we’re banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart’s a total monster in the sack. She’s giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she’s not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother’s old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it’s totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can’t help thinking, “Why didn’t Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We’ve had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy.”

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky’s just a kid and all, but she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She’s given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we’re doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here’s this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

And then it turns out Vicky’s really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside your baby sister’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you. It’s true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don’t you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.

Otherwise, can you let me know where the f**king remote is?

Love, Dan

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Clever speeder

7 votes, average: 3.57 out of 57 votes, average: 3.57 out of 57 votes, average: 3.57 out of 57 votes, average: 3.57 out of 57 votes, average: 3.57 out of 5 (7 votes, average: 3.57 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 13th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver’s license?

Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?

Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Who’s car is this?

Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.

Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove-box, and that there was a body in the trunk?

Driver: Yeah, and I’ll bet the big liar told you I was speeding too!

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Super Troopers Names

4 votes, average: 2.75 out of 54 votes, average: 2.75 out of 54 votes, average: 2.75 out of 54 votes, average: 2.75 out of 54 votes, average: 2.75 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 2.75 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 12th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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super troopers names Super Troopers Names Movies interesting Humor

 Super Troopers Names Movies interesting Humor
 Super Troopers Names Movies interesting Humor

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Quarelling Children

2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 52 votes, average: 3.00 out of 52 votes, average: 3.00 out of 52 votes, average: 3.00 out of 52 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on July 11th, 2009 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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_Mother:_ “Hush! You two children are always quarrelling. Why can’t you
agree once in a while?”

_Georgia:_ “We do agree, mamma. Edith wants the largest apple and so do
I.”

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