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Pregnancy class

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Posted in Affiliate Program on October 28th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you! Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several steps and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”

She looked at the men in the room, “and Gentlemen, remember — You’re in this together — It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her.

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

Yes”, answered the Instructor.

I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

via Bits and Pieces.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

Teiam

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Posted in Affiliate Program on October 28th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

teiam Teiam

 Teiam

 Teiam
 Teiam

from Shirt-Fight.com

Please comment on this shirt!

Recently on Internet-D

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Posted in Affiliate Program on October 26th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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Vanilla Ice, movie shorts, Hobbit News and more!

Also, just added some awesome Tron Music over there too.

As a point of interest, if you already have an account here at MCS, it will work over on I-D too!

this is my halloween costume

1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Posted in Affiliate Program on October 19th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

the guy who banged your mom this is my halloween costume

 this is my halloween costume

 this is my halloween costume
 this is my halloween costume

from Shirt-Fight.com

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Let’s get smashed!

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Posted in Affiliate Program on October 16th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

lets get smashed Let’s get smashed!

 Let’s get smashed!

 Let’s get smashed!
 Let’s get smashed!

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Presidential book dodge

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Posted in Affiliate Program on October 14th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

“Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you’re trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you’re one president too late.” –David Letterman
?

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

New Internet-Fight

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Posted in Affiliate Program on October 10th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

I forgot I even had this site, but I added a new poll to “internet-fight”:

Tiki just got dumped because…

A helping hand

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Posted in Affiliate Program on October 4th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

A rich man is driving down the highway and he see’s a man in the median eating handfuls of grass, he tell his driver to pull over and he yells to the man, “What are you doing there?”

The man says, “I am broke and hungry and this is the best I can find.”

The rich guy says, “Come with me and I can help!”

The poor man says, “But what about my wife?”

The rich guy says, “She can come too!”

The poor man says, “But my children are just up the road, what about them?”

The rich guy, reluctantly say’s, “They can come too”.

The poor man says “How about my aunt and uncle, and sisters?”

To which the rich guys replies,

“Just how big do you think my lawn is?”

via Bits and Pieces.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

crafty old man

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Posted in Affiliate Program on October 1st, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

An older, white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his new girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something more special.’

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over… ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000? the jeweler said.

The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it..’

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, ‘by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,’ he said.

Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man..

‘There’s no money in that account.’

‘I know,’ said the old man, ‘But let me tell you about my weekend!’

via Bits and Pieces.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

A husband and wife are watching a TV show about psychology…

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Posted in Affiliate Program on September 27th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

A husband and wife are watching a TV show about psychology and the phenomenon of mixed emotions. The husband says to the wife, Honey, thats a bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time. She said:

Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis

via reddit.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

Orange Head

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Posted in Affiliate Program on September 24th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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It’s business as usual for a bartender, and one day as he is cleaning his bar when an unusual customer walks in. The man is dressed in an expensive suit, has a beautiful supermodel hanging off each arm, and has a limo parked outside. Furthermore, the man has an orange for a head.

The customer sits down at the bar and orders everyone a drink. He pays for it from a roll of hundreds and manages to get the attention of every woman in the joint, despite having an orange for a head.

The bartender is not a man to pry, but he feels compelled to ask about this man’s life.

"Excuse me," says the bartender, "I can’t help but notice that you’re obviously fabulously wealthy and irresistable to women, but you have an orange for a head. How did that happen?"

So the man told his story.

"A while back, when I was penniless, I was walking along the beach and saw an old lamp, half buried in the sand. I picked it up and gave it a clean, and POOF! out popped a genie. The genie explained that he had been trapped in that lamp for two hundred years, and that he was so grateful to me for freeing him that he would give me three wishes.

"For my first wish I asked for an unlimited fortune. The genie said ‘It is done!’ and from then on, whenever I needed money, it was there.

"For my second wish I asked for the attention of all the most beautiful women in the world. The genie said it was done, and since then I have been able to get any woman I wanted.

"For my third wish — and, this is the bit where I kinda fucked up — I asked for an orange for a head."

via reddit.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

Dirty Mortician Humor

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Posted in Affiliate Program on September 18th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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One day as a director of a funeral home is finishing up some paperwork the mortician runs into his office.

"You got to come quick!" the mortician says, flailing his arms in the air.

With haste the director leaps out from his chair and frantically follows the mortician to the room where the bodies are prepared.

"There," the mortician says, pointing at the body of a woman, "in her vagina. There seems to be a jumbo shrimp. Isn’t that peculiar?"

The director puts his glasses on and takes a closer look. Upon inspection the director replies, "That’s no jumbo shrimp. That’s her clitoris."

Baffled and embarrassed by such an error the mortician replies, "Sure tasted like jumbo shrimp."

via reddit.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

My favorite sexual position is the JFK

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Posted in Affiliate Program on September 17th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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My favorite sexual position is the JFK.

I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

via reddit.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

Coma Sex

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Posted in Affiliate Program on September 16th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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A husband and wife get in a car accident. Husband’s okay other than some scrapes and bruises, but wife falls into a coma. For weeks the husband sits by her side in the hospital. One night, though he feels bad about it, he starts getting horny. He reaches over, slides his hand under her gown, runs his hand slowly up her thigh, but pulls it back suddenly when he notices the beeping heart monitor pick up pace.

The next day he takes the doctor aside and tells him. "Interesting," the doctor says, "She’s responding. Maybe try more tonight? Maybe oral sex?" The husband still thinks it’s a little wrong, but agrees to try it.

That night, a Code Blue rings out in the halls. Nurses rush in to revive the flatlining wife. The husband stands outside, stunned, when the doctor pulls him aside and asks "What happened? Did you try the oral sex?"

"Yes," says the husband, blankly.

"Well, what happened?" the doctor asks.

The husband answers, "Well, she just started choking."

via ripperbard comments on Most fucked up joke you know?.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

three pregnant women

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Posted in Affiliate Program on September 15th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

Three pregnant women were waiting in the doctor’s waiting room for an antenatal check-up and were all knitting garments for there respective babies.Suddenly the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one…”What was that?”, the other two ask, curiously.”Calcium tablet. Good for mommy, good for little baby”, she replies, patting her stomach affectionately.

Satisfied, all 3 continue with their knitting…5 minutes later, the second one stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one..”What was that?”, the other two enquire.”Vitamin tablet”, she replies, “Good for mommy, good for little baby” and she pats her stomach affectionately.

All 3 smile and continue busily with their knitting…5 minutes later, the last woman stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one..”What was that?” ask the other two.”Thalidomide. I can’t knit sleeves…”

via reddit.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

You can’t say happiness…

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Posted in Affiliate Program on September 12th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
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You can’t say happiness without penis.

via Naughty Bits.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

A man dies and goes to Hell

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Posted in Affiliate Program on September 7th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

A man dies and goes to Hell where he is greeted by the devil:

Devil: Hey, whatcha lookin so down for?

Man: If you died and went to Hell, you’d be feeling down too!

Devil: Hell ain’t what you think it is. It’s fun down here. Say, do you drink?

Man: Sure, I love to drink. Why?

Devil: Well, you”re gonna love Mondays then. Because on Mondays, all we do here is drink. Hell, we have whiskey, tiquila, rum, vodka, all the booze you wanna drink. We drink til we puke and then we drink some more.

Man: Ah, that sounds great.

Devil: Do you smoke?

Man: Damn right I do.

Devil: Cool! You”re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world. Smoke all you want. You don”t have to worry about getting cancer because you”re already dead anyways, haha.

Man: No shit!

Devil: You like gambling?

Man: Hell yeah!

Devil: Great! On Wednesdays, we have gambling night here in Hell. We have slot machines, roulette, craps, black jack, hold-em, a dog track, horse racing, you name it we got it and we just recently opened up a new pai gow poker table.

Man: Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I never played pai gow poker before.

Devil: Now you can. You like to get stoned?

Man: I love getting stoned! You mean…

Devil: That”s right man, because on Thursdays, it’s stoner night here in Hell! Help yourself to a huge bowl of crack, smoke a joint the size of a nuclear sub, do all the drugs you want and you don”t have to worry about overdosing because you”re already dead anyhow.

Man: Awesome! I never thought Hell was one swinging place!

Devil: Are you gay?

Man: Uh, no.

Devil: Oooh, you’re gonna hate Fridays!

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

No sex since 1955

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Posted in Affiliate Program on September 7th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?” “Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.” The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.” “Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.” The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself.” The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?” “1955, ma’am.” “Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.” The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.”

via funny.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

Fangtasia

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Posted in Affiliate Program on September 2nd, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

e57ea fangtasia Fangtasia

 Fangtasia

 Fangtasia
 Fangtasia

from Shirt-Fight.com

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A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife…

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Posted in Affiliate Program on August 30th, 2010 by | Report This Post | FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.” The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return.

Two o’clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.”

He did as she asked, ever so slowly.. “Now take off my socks.”

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

“Now take off my skirt.”

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

“Now take off my bra..” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.”

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com


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