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Austin Powers in Goldmember review

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After Dr. Evil and his accomplice Mini-Me escape from a maximum-security prison, Austin, that international man of mystery, swings into action for another comedy caper.

Less of a homage to Bond and more of a sequal to the plot threads from the previous Austin Powers movies. It also has the best opening of the three of them!

Beyonce as Foxxy, I forgot she had such a large role in this movie.
Gold Member is Gold Finger, just uh….weirder.
A Car that is also a submarine
Ozzy Osborne and family, remember they had a show around 2002?
Dr Evils’ son, Scott, goes evil, which apparently being evil is why Dr Evil is bald and thus now scott is going bald. Because he’s evil.
Return of the Shadow Game from Austin Powers 2! I enjoyed this one as much as the first one.
Jared from Subway gets a mention, which is unfortunate with what we know about him now.
Britney Spears is in this twice. One time she’s a fembot and the other time she’s trying to get Mini Me’s kickstand.

Austin Powers: The Spy That Shagged Me review

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First he fought for the Crown, now he’s fighting for the family jewels! Mike Myers returns as the world’s grooviest superspy who must return to the Swingin’ Sixties.

Eternal Argument: who’s a hotter Austin Powers special agent love interest? Elizabeth Hurley or Heather Graham? I’m team-Heather in this regard…

Austin Powers 2: The Spy That Shagged Me is as much of a homage to the Connery/Moore Bond films as it is to the 90’s:

Jerry Springer
Mini Me!
Secret Agent preferring to use hand to hand combat even though he has a gun
See through shirts that just oh so accidentally show nipples. This time it’s Dr Evil’s saucer pancake nipples, but just the same…
Madonna connection: her music was actually in Austin Powers before it was in Die Another Day
Island Lair
Space Based laser platforms
bikini beach assault, this time the hero is in the bikini!
just the 2 of us, did you forget that Wil Smith was a rapper in the 90’s?
Villains that change the hero’s clothing after they initially capture them. This was in the first film too, but it was more noticeable to me here.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery review

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Austin Powers is back into action to once again battle his archenemy Dr. Evil. With his sexy sidekick Ms. Kensington, Austin must stop Dr. Evil’s outrageous plot to control the world.

This movie is an awesome send up of the various tropes of the James Bond movies, for better or worse:

Well Ferril! For like 2 minutes!
Big Boy Burger rocket! It’s a real company!
Racist Representatives!
Cheetah chop! The only kung-fu that Bond ever used in the first 10 movies.
Overly elaborate and exotic deaths planned for the hero, but they never seem to land!
A very very hairy chest. It’s something that I laughed at and commented on every time Sean Connery had her shirt off.
Volcano lairs. Seriously, bond had a villain with a lair in a fakish volcano.
Sexy no matter what he does, somehow the girls are all begging him for his loving.

There’s some additional unique humor thrown in, the gag with Austin Powers turning the cart around in Dr Evil’s Volcano Lair still amuses me to no end, along with the “hide the genitals” game that’s played at the very end of the film.

The Avengers review

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Marvel makes cinematic history as it unites the super hero team of a lifetime.

The last perfect MCU movie, with absolutely no imperfections at all, so shut your mouth if you feel otherwise

Captain America: The First Avenger review

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Tags: Captain America, Movie Reviews, Movies

Steve Rogers volunteers for a top secret project.

Chris Evans is pitch perfect as Steve Rogers, a man who’s too idealistic during a time that idealism was in vogue. I find this funny because he was also pitch perfect as Johnny Storm in 2005’s Fantastic Four, a jerk that had more interest in doing awesome stunts than caring about his own family. It’s almost like he’s an accomplished and talented actor that completely owns every role he throws himself into.

The movie has been out for a while, but still spoilers for the ending. It sucks that they killed off the Red Skull, but rumor has it that Hugo Weaving signed a contract for several movies in the role, so I’m really hoping for a cameo of some sort in the upcoming Avengers: Infinity War. At the end of CA:TFA he wasn’t actually killed, just sucked into the power cube afterall.

A View To A Kill review

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Tags: james bond, Movie Reviews, Movies

In pursuit of new computer super chips, Bond uncovers a plan which could destroy Silicon Valley and the West’s computer industries.

Interesting that both Sean Connery and Roger Moore’s final films came out sequentially, it’s a great pausing opportunity for me to star watching other movies to take a brief break from my Bond marathon.

A View To Kill opens with Bond in an arctic wasteland being pursued by Russian soldiers, with everyone involved on skis. There’s a brief moment where Bond uses some wreckage as a snowboard and the music switches from classic Bond-Action music to the Beach Boys, it was incredibly weird and misplaced for what was happening on screen. The scene ends with Bond leaving the Russians in his dust and he boards a submarine/boat that’s in the shape of an iceburg, it’s the most Austin Powers moment that I’ve seen in these films yet.

There’s a great plot thread that moves Bond from the old world to the new, both metaphorically and literally, as James investigates microchips at a massive and gloriously beautiful horse stable. It thread takes him from the stables in stuffy Paris to the cutting edge technology of Silicon Valley, where a very Superman esque plot to blow up a chunk of California is being put into motion by the Villain name Max Zorin, played by Christopher Walken, who apparently is a fan of playing characters named Max? He played a Max in Batman Returns as well.

This was a great send off for Roger Moore and a great transition from the old style of spy movie with insane yet some how believable to the newer over the top / nearly unbelievable films to come.

Never Say Never Again review

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Tags: james bond, Movie Reviews, Movies

Sean Connery returns for his final appearance as James Bond. In this remake of Thunderball, Bond is brought out of retirement to investigate the theft of two nuclear weapons by SPECTRE.

Sean Connery’s final appearance is also the first movie that I know of that has the same actor remaking the same film and plotline as before. The only other one that comes to mind is the Evil Dead franchise, but that was redone because they had a lot more money to throw at it compared to the original’s shoestring budget. In this retread of Thunderball, Bond is again sent to a vacation spot to convalescence, this time because his new age hippy boss accuses him of having too many “free radicals” in his bloodstream. The plot is the same with some technological updates, no longer did they take a whole jet with two nukes, this time it’s two cruise missiles. The third act was another big change, they didn’t have a big underwater battle like the original, just Bond and the man villain ended up in a knife fight while straddling a nuclear warhead. To be honest, this was a let down!

This movie had one of the better title work ins and was completely natural in terms of how it was presented, I’m happy Connery made this is final film, while it was a great film, he was starting to show a little too much grey for such a spry secret agent.