House of Wax 2007 review

51BWKTJK85L House of Wax (2007)

A group of friends on their way to a college football game falls prey toa pair of murderous brothers in an abandoned small town. The friends discover that the psychotic siblings have expanded the area’s main attraction–the House of Wax–and created an entire town filled with the wax-coated corpses of unlucky visitors. Now the group must find a wayout before its members also become permanent exhibits in the House of Wax. Remake of the Warner Bros. horror classic, which was the first release of a 3-D film by a major studio.

I often wonder what kind of crack the Amazon synopsis writers are smoking. Other than a very basic premise (dead people covered in wax) there is absolutely nothing about this film to tie it back to the original (and much better) 1953 version. There’s so many damn spoilers in the synopsis as well, the whole town being made of wax was a huge twist, one that I somewhat appreciated, though to be honest, this film was not for me. It started out as a campy ‘friends on a trip’ movie that slowly morphed into a suspenseful horror film that made a sudden turn into torture pornography with some absolutely horrid things happening to everyone involved. I stay away from movies like the Saw franchise because I know what they’re about, and that ain’t for me.

A couple notes though from my watching, there’s spoilers here, because honestly, F this movie:

  • I think I had that same highchair. Mine didn’t have arm and foot straps though, just the metal bars on the side.
  • that’s Paris Hilton….and she’s the best actor here so far? wtf.
  • disturbed soundtrack does not fit for the gentle car ride they’re taking in that scene.
  • the guy that’s throwing all the animal bodies around reminds me of tucker or dale
  • is that one of the brothers from Supernatural? Why yes it is. Looks like he beat his on screen brother to the movies by a couple years.
  • sleeping in to 2:30pm while sleeping in tents? bullshit, I have never once slept in that long in a TENT.
  • entire house is actually made of wax?  does it not get over 80 degrees in that town at all?
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