two ways to shield yourself from a violent attack

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    44 Responses to two ways to shield yourself from a violent attack

    1. I prefer dual-wielding medieval flails, personally.


      • I can think of several other ways to shield oneself from a violent attack…

        -Hire a big scary bodyguard (can’t really protect you, but the attacker will focus on him, allowing you to escape).
        -Hurl a toddler (not yours, just pick the nearest one) at the attacker.
        -Knife-wielding trained attack baboon.
        -Replace hand with chainsaw.
        -Tattoo the Glyph of Unholy Protection using goat blood on your chest.
        -Be Gary Busey. No one will ever fuck with you.


    2. Third option: live in a country where they don’t allow every idiot, psycho or nutjob to own guns, where any fucktard on the street can have the power of life and death over you — and can exercise it if you do things like cutting them off in traffic or making disparaging remarks about their dog — and where the bullet that kills you can come unannounced, right into the back of your head, making that piece you’re so proud to carry on you about as useful as an oddly shaped paperweight.


      • “violent attack” doesn’t always mean GUN. could be a large man going to strangle her, could be grandma’s gone psycho with the butcher knife, could be a mountain lion pouncing. which country is it you can shoot people for cutting you off in traffic?or what country could that not happen in? violence happens in many forms. do us a favor and show us all how the suicide version works you ignorant little prick.


        • What if he comes at you with a pointed stick?


        • Please. What is being advertized here is the notion that an armed citizenry is the answer to urban (or rural) violence. That anyone who doesn’t pack is a sucker who deserves what they get, and anyone who packs is the epitome of civic responsibility and virtue. Meanwhile, let’s forget that the vast majority of people don’t have the maturity to handle the power of life and death.

          Btw, I don’t know how may cases of psycho, knife wielding grandmother attacks occurred in your country last week, much less cases of pouncing mountain lions, but I can tell you they are vastly, vastly outnumbered by the cases of drunk, stupid idiots who killed others — effortlessly, and on a whim, thanks to the ease of a trigger-pull — for reasons that are beyond trivial.

          Really nice try with the mountain lion “example,” by the way. A clear and present danger if I ever heard of one. If your point was to claim that I advocate disarming legitimate hunters with legitimate permits, carrying rifles and shotguns in wild areas where a soon-to-be extinct species *might* be spotted, you are making an embarrassment of yourself.

          Lastly, I can’t help but notice how your wish for my death is typical of your ilk. You’re not advocating for my murder, granted, but it’s funny how you gun-toting types love to invoke the violent death of people you disagree with. It’s quite typical of mindless idiots who can’t think rationally.


          • actually mountain lion attacks on joggers and walkers has been rising in the last 10-15 years in many people have been shot in your country for calling their dog a bad name? see that works both ways doesn’t it? “What is being advertized here”…. how about looking past the advertising for a change, instead of wishing and hoping for a utopia where violence is unheard of.mindless.


            • Setting aside for a moment the fact that the San José Mercury News reports a dramatic drop in such attacks as of 2011, finds no reports of a death in seven years (at the time), or the fact that the California Department of Fish and Wildlife only reports 14 verified attacks between 1986-2013 (3 of them fatal) for the entire state (making your argument complete bullshit, btw), please indicate how handguns for everyone coast-to-coast is in any way a rational policy to combat this “threat”. I know you Second Amendment types were getting desperate, but really, grow a fucking brain.

              I’m really not sure how many people in my country got shot because they called someone’s dog a bad name. I can tell you a drunk asshole in yours shot his friend last Saturday for trying to stop him from driving, which makes even less sense.

              I can also tell you anyone idiotic enough to try this in my country would have a hard time of it since we have strong gun control laws, and a ridiculously tiny fraction of the USA’s yearly gun deaths. We don’t make it easy for drunks (or anyone) to kill, see?

              I don’t wish and hope for an utopia where violence doesn’t exist… but one look at the USA’s gun casualties is enough to convince me I practically live in one. In my country, having the power to kill someone with a flick of your finger isn’t a “right.” My country is rational about guns; the notion that mass availability of tools made for killing people quickly, efficiently, effortlessly and at a distance will result in mass deaths is not that hard to grasp once you put down the six pack of Budweiser.

              Still, you want your freedom and your guns? Keep ’em. Sleep tight, cradle your piece, and watch out for mountain lions who might come to ring your doorbell. Some of them fuckers like to pretend they are from UPS, and will pounce once you open the door.


            • setting aside the fact that I only mentioned mountain lions and feral grandmas was because you started off with getting shot for insulting a dog and assassins waiting around every corner. no one actually said give everyone a gun. a drunk shooting his friend? there’s actually a case where a judge has murdered two people, kind of proving anyone can break the law. so what’s stopping the people in “your country” (you refuse to name) from killing? I assume it’s difference is mostly population size and mixture since i’m unsure of which one it is.


            • odd too that you would go to the trouble of looking up mountain lion attacks,but nothing on the shot out of nowhere to the back of the head, getting shot for dog insults or even the cutting off in traffic incidents you started with 🙂


            • “Population size and mixture.” Are you quoting from the KKK euphemism booklet? They are not recruiting so well nowadays, so they too have to use toned-down language to get racist notions across.

              Canada is as close to the US as it gets. We have (gasp!) visible minorities, crime, drugs and poverty. We see the same violent movies/tv shows, and get the same violent video games (so does Europe, btw). What we don’t have is mass availability of guns.

              What we don’t have is people pandering to the notion that the solution to violence is more guns, and that being armed is about common sense and civic responsibility, while not being armed is about being a a victim. Mass availability of guns doesn’t protect individuals against violence; it makes it likelier that individual will face armed violence.

              You made a specific reference to a specific threat in a specific area during a specific time frame, and I called you on your bullshit. Took all of a minute, too. Not sure if you are a liar, ignorant, or both.

              My examples were outlandish, yes, but again you seem too obtuse to get the point: the absurdity of the motives are not the problem — the ease with which you can act upon them is.


            • “You made a specific reference to a specific threat in a specific area during a specific time frame, and I called you on your bullshit.”…..and you’re proving your ignorance. I clearly said I made wild comments just the SAME AS YOU. but you want to take what I said as literal and have yet to back up the getting shot for insulting a dog BULLSHIT so did you just not get an education or are you suffering from brain freeze? which cities in canada are the equivalent of chicago? detroit? canada is almost 1/10th the population of the u.s. the largest visible minority groups are Asian 7.9% and Black (2.5%). how exactly does that compare? but if you want to keep it simple for when your brain thaws , I originally said “”violent attack” doesn’t always mean GUN”, and you ran amuck like a complete moron. quit trying to impose your bigoted,uneducated views on others:)


            • Bigoted? I wasn’t the one who brought race into this argument. But since you did: what are you proposing exactly? Suspending gun rights for Asians and Blacks? Or on the contrary, increasing availability so the animals continue to kill each other? Bringing race into the mix says a lot about your mindset.

              Which leads me to your uneducated charge. On that one, I’ll just smile and let the folks here compare your posts to mine and make up their own minds. In the meantime, I should remind you that your “1/10th the population of the u.s.” comment means exactly fucking zilch — you have to look at per capita gun deaths to get a true perspective on the problem. And even when you take race out of the equation, comparing white gun deaths in the US to gun deaths in Canada, the numbers are still hugely out of synch. Rates of homicides, injury and suicide by firearms in the US still exceed those in Canada by disturbing margins — no matter what identical racial groups are your basis for comparison.

              You keep sticking to your “violent attack doesn’t mean gun attack” argument. Sidestep the fact that if it wasn’t for the availability of guns in your country, death and crime rates would fall across the board. Ignore the fact that intelligent, astute, sustained community outreach and police work would be far more effective. Stick to individual stories instead of looking at the big picture.

              Instead of tackling the real problems — poverty, social inequality, racism, joblessness, lack of affordable education, income disparity — go ahead and repost glib poster arguments. Subtly imply that the well-being and security of your citizens begins and ends with gun ownership. Continue to suggest that the unarmed are mindless sheep and willing victims who deserve what they get.

              An invisible, imaginary line on a map is all that separates you and I, yet I am statistically far, far less likely than you to die from a gunshot wound. But you go ahead and tell yourself that you live a safer life than I. Keep telling yourself that carrying a piece will keep you safe from all the other people out there who carry one as well, and have far less good judgement than you (which is saying something).

              And one other thing: don’t forget to bury your dead. Otherwise, they will pile up to a point where even you won’t be able to ignore them.


            • and yet still you ignore the FACT that you started with your grandiose claim that people get killed all the time for insulting dogs and cutting you off in traffic, but continue to deny that you are full of shit. “Subtly imply that the well-being and security of your citizens begins and ends with gun ownership.” I haven’t said or implied anything related to that so stop pulling shit out of your ass please. if you bother to look at the picture it says there are 2 ways to protect yourself from violent attack, YOU ignorantly commented about getting randomly shot in the head happening all the time and I pointed out that violence doesn’t require a gun, since then you’ve been on an anti gun rant ever since. you’re a fucking moron who apparently doesn’t comprehend the written word. “Bringing race into the mix says a lot about your mindset”….really? if you don’t realize that it’s a fact that if you minus out all the black on black crime in america that out crime rates would be a lot closer to the same rate. there were 500 murders in chicago alone last year, you don’t think that affects the numbers? but still you’ll once again ignore what I wrote and tell us how utopia works.


            • forgot to mention bigotry and racism are actually two different things,look it up.


            • “Bigoted” and “Racist” are indeed different. Can’t help but notice you never denied being a racist, though.

              Crime in Canada is lower than crime in the US, period. Compare all you like. Compare interracial crime rates or same race crime rates. Go with absolute numbers or with per capita. Look at the number of those crimes (irregardless of race) that involve guns. The difference in numbers is still ridiculous.

              You hammer the point that you haven’t stated what your position is, and that I am attacking you unfairly, putting words in your mouth. It’s starting to sound more than a little hypocritical, though. What is your position on the question, exactly? Still haven’t gotten a clear answer from you. What are you hiding behind, exactly? You make a crack about me not wanting to name my home country (which I did, btw, in the next post). Are you a stalwart supporter of the 2nd amendment or aren’t you? Do you own guns? If so, which kind?

              Do answer honestly. I think some of the readers here believe that your claim that you’re merely hiding behind principle is bullshit. I know I do.

              You’ve got a hard on for that dog killer comment, I can see. You’re a dog lover, I can tell. So am I, actually. I can tell you’re not a rational argument lover though, because you keep blabbering the same shit over and over, while managing not to address a single of the many points I bring to defend my position. The best you an do is “I never said this” or “I never said that.” You don’t say much of anything, do you?

              I’ve shot down so many of your “arguments” I’ve lost count. Talking about Chicago — wow! Again, an attempt by you to shift the debate back to absolute numbers, not per capita gun crimes. It’s statistical bullshit.

              Do you understand what “bullshit” means, right? Or do I have to define it for you?

              Not one word from you on per capita crime rates (very telling). No one word form you on how mass availability of guns increases the chances that you will be the victim of gun crime. Not one word on how the poster absolutely suggests a glib black-and-white solution to a complex problem.

              No, wait! Let me guess! You are going to claim you don’t have an opinion, you’re just here to call me a gun hater, yet have no official opinion! Riiiight.

              Do you watch Fox News by any chance? Do you Tivo that shit? Do you rehearse it before you go to sleep?


            • “I’ve shot down so many of your “arguments” I’ve lost count”….I’ll make it easy for you, 0. since I haven’t made any arguments. those voices are the ones in your head. how many more ways do I need to say you blatantly exaggerated your opening comments with stupidity and I clearly defined that a gun wasn’t necessary for violence and asked which country it was you were referencing with people allowed to shoot anyone they want. all of which you completely ignored and immediately assumed all of your bigoted views led you to believe I’m someone to attack,which is all you’ve done. YOU are the kind of person that would need to have restrictions on his ability to own a firearm. “still haven’t got a clear answer from you”…..of course not YOU NEVER ASKED A QUESTION ON MY POSITION. dumbass, you automatically assumed it, as i’ve pointed out… and caring about what “readers” on here are going to think, fuck you and them,I’m not so insecure as to get my self esteem or sense of morality from faceless unknowns on the internet. now go back and scroll through what we started with and actually read,not assume.


            • You mean the vociferous vitriol you heaped upon me on your very first post wasn’t a clue to your position? Of course not. Do continue to claim you are merely here defending principle, and an innocent victim, unfairly attacked by moi, the bigot (and convince exactly no one). Continue to defer all direct questions as to your actual opinions. Do keep up this fantasy of yours where I claimed that people are allowed to be unlawful.

              I’ve asked — quite directly — what your actual positions are regarding gun laws and gun ownership in my last post, but I suppose doing so would “reveal” what every single person with half a brain reading this thread already knows. An alternate explanation would be that you are so insecure about your positions that you won’t even voice them on an anonymous forum.

              One thing I am certain of: screaming that I never asked via use of ALL CAPS when I did exactly that in the post above makes you look really, really dumb.

              I agree. Perhaps I was being too generous when I called your claims “arguments.” Still, the nonsense you shoveled into this discussion (among others, population difference between the US and Canada, the racial causes for gun crime and the 500 murders in Chicago) are clear attempts to justify your views. They also demonstrate that you adhere to racist rhetoric, and have no handle whatsoever on basic statistical notions.

              I’m left to wonder if you need to read your prescription drug labels more closely, or if you need to redo 6th grade to learn what “argument” means. Probably both.

              You saved the best for last when you talked about having a sense of morality, since you expressed a fervent wish for my (albeit self-inflicted) death in your very first post. For all of my rhetoric, that is a line I haven’t crossed — while you did at the very onset of what passes for debate in your world.

              That first post betrayed several things at once: the rational tenuousness of your position, your inability to tolerate dissenting opinions, the desperation and anger you feel when your ideas are challenged, and your desire to see any dissenter on the subject not merely removed from the discussion, but removed from life.

              I hope for the sake of everyone around you that the only guns you’ll ever touch are plastic ones; otherwise, your rage might boil over so much that you’ll go from wishing for a person’s suicide to enthusiastically “assisting” them with a 9mm.

              Regardless, I really can’t spend any more time educating a a racist, morally bankrupt idiot of your ilk, so feel free to have the last word if you wish. Do a little happy dance too, if you want.

              As for me, I’ll try to be a bit more discerning next time, and cross pens with someone who (instead of typing frantically on a keyboard, stream-of-consciousness style) will demonstrate at least some knowledge of basic sentence structure.


            • so once again you think that me saying violence doesn’t always mean gun and asking you which country you could do the outlandish things you were claiming(things you still haven’t answered) are supposed to be a declaration of my opinion on gun control, how ignorantly argumentative of you… “where I claimed that people are allowed to be unlawful”….”where any fucktard on the street can have the power of life and death over you”….and this doesn’t strike you as unlawful?…..”I’ve asked — quite directly — what your actual positions are regarding gun laws and gun ownership in my last post”……if you count back you posted 4 times assuming I’m a right winger……and what do my morals have to do with not caring if you live or die? there are over 6 billion people on the planet and I’m supposed to worry about an argumentative prick who’s best idea is for everyone to move to a different country? unlike you I was just cruising through checking out pictures and posts, not looking to argue complicated issues on a picture blog.


            • forgot to mention as far as being a racist 1) I’m not required to deny what I know to be untrue 2)its racist of you to assume you know my race 🙂 suppose he’s a racist too


      • How’d that work out for Lee Rigby.


    3. In the first one, god is protecting her, as he always does.


      • No, I like that one. In the more fundamentalist areas surely the correct option is to pray and the ground will open up and swallow your attacker?

        Personally I say better to teach her to defend herself generally. A gun is a single purpose device which is only truly useful if always carried in a readily accessible manner and always loaded.

        Better that she learns basic self defence and stands a better chance using ANYTHING at hand.

        Plus, what if she’s being attacked by dracula – gun won’t help her then.

        Yeah, I’m sarcastic – I hate these things which tell you it’s either failure or MY WAY. Like there’s no option other than those 2.


    4. The better way is to work towards a society where violent assaults are less frequent, rather than throw up your hands in despair and buy a gun.


    5. Consider the non-lethal options first, morons.


    6. Gut shots can take hours to die, but are incredibly disabling because of hydrostatic shock. D’uh.


    7. Surely it’s more important to first address the reason why your society has become such a cannibalistic savage cultural wasteland that everyone has to carry a lethal weapon at all times if they don’t want to be raped to death.


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