Face fucker-upper

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tandoctools.com/

“The Tandoc Tools Ringpop will put the smack down on a beeyotch with a resolute finality that bears great responsibility. A steep chisel grind will not need additional sharpening to make it the most destructive thing you have ever owned outside of a properly applied firearm or a drunken spin in the kaddylak. Walk the dark streets safely knowing you too are a criminal, for carrying or using this type of thing is almost universally illegal, unless you are a law enforcement agent or a soldier at war! Imbued with the unique Tandoc Tools Chi Bubble™ system of personal protection, this tool should protect you fully against any and all hexes, curses, bad luck, or evil that you should encounter, unless it is really bad and then it is all up to you anyways, Jedi. Built for discreet pocket employment this blocky bastard is made from 3/8” thick, heat treated O1 tool steel.”

lol

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    4 Responses to Face fucker-upper

    1. that’s funny…I’ve got one of those…but I’ve been using it as a guideplate in a bulk-stapler. I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time!

      Reply

    2. Careful, a lot of places will have laws against carrying that as a weapon: Specifically “punch” or “push” daggers and brass knuckles are often prohibited. I could see an officer easily deciding this is close enough to either of those to lay a charge.

      Reply

    3. Shut up. Take money. You know… the usual bit.

      Reply

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