(2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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watching “die hard or live free” it’s amazing how badly they got the computer stuff. hope the next Die Hard movie leaves the imaginary internet out of it.
Movie moment: all the street lights are wonky, so obviously everyone’s going to run into each other.
Movie moment: terrorists put bombs on computer that can ONLY be activated by the DEL button. who needs remotes detonators?
Movie moment: the myth of a “fire sale”: Everything Must Go! apparently this movie is from the future where “everything” is controlled absolutely by a computer that has zero security at all
Movie moment: John McClane just took out a helicopter by running over a fire hydrant
Movie Moment: instead of traffic stopping in a dark tunnel, everyone apparently hits their gas. Luckily John McClane can see in the dark and can dodge cars
Movie moment: John McClane just took out a helicopter by throwing his car at it. Thank god none of the 200 rounds the helicopter shot at him actually landed anywhere near his car!
Movie Moment: terrorist just broke into the National Air Conditioning Facility, which incidentally contains really really secret servers.
Movie moment: terrorist are stealing the sum of America’s data. 500 terabytes, which I believe is about equal to 1% of the size of the A9 cloud service
Time Out for popcorn! home made too!
Movie Moment: no one in this movie has ever seen ID4 where the white house blows up, sees it on TV and thinks it’s real
Movie Moment: terrorists shoot worse than storm troopers. must have gone to the same terrorist training camps
Movie Moment: you can shut down the ENTIRE power grid from a single terminal. Doesn’t matter that there’s hundreds of separate systems and companies, nope, one button will shut them all down.
Movie Moment: the only asian in the film? yep, she knows martial arts.
Movie Moment: computer hacker does not know martial arts, is taken down with a simple slap and pressure point
Movie Moment: john mcclane just thew his car at the asian that knows martial arts, she shouldn’t survive, this, right?
Movie Moment: she survived being hit by a car and then ran through elevator doors
Movie Moment: she’s dead from a car blowing up. maybe
Movie Moment: “ebomb” is happening. who is phone?
“ebomb” defeated by latest version of windows firewall and McAffee.
Movie Moment: terrorist is angry! so he destroys his $2,000 laptop
Movie Moment: The Terrorist was once a good guy! He tried to be a good guy and tell people stuff, but no one would listen, so he decided to be a terrorist, whoops.
Movie Moment: they’re sending all the gas lines to John McClane.
Movie Moment: he got out of the way though, tough luck terrorists!
Movie Moment: those gas lines were connect to the nation’s power. all of it. all the power was controlled by natural gas that was thrown at john mcclane
Movie Moment: second mention of “the warlock”. thank god people don’t refer to themselves as their handles IRL, there would be bloodshed. I am Teh Onez
Movie Moment: Kevin Smith, thank god for your small part here man, you saved the movie in it’s totality. “Friends from Space Camp” indeed
Movie Moment: John McClane just discovered that computers can be hot. Queue the National Air Conditioning Facility, where they just hacked Kevin Smith’s webcam
Movie Moment: John McClane is taunting a terrorist, who apparently has McClane’s daughter in an elevator. what could possibly happen to her?
Movie Moment: John McClane is taking a car to kill a guy and save his daughter. The guy’s daughter or McClane’s? where did he get the keys to the car?
Movie Moment: terrorist gets bitch slapped by McClane’s daughter, feels that he needs to punch her to feel better. does not feel better, dies a little inside
Movie Moment: John McClane is breaking into the National Air Conditioning Facility, hope he brought a jacket!
Movie Moment: he did not bring a jacket, freezes a little inside
Movie Moment: John McClane opens door with one hand, hacker cannot. Because he’s weak. Get it? Cause he’s a hacker. I die a little bit inside.
Movie Moment: Tuvok (from Star Trek Voyager) gives an explanation of where all the nation’s data back ups are. suggests that the terrorist could back it all up on a single portable harddrive.
Movie Moment: John McClane executed a terrorist. whoops
Movie Moment: Just kidding! he’s ok, but not really
Movie Moment: Hero hacker still uses a flip phone. yes, I recognize that the film was released in 2007 but still. a flip phone.
Movie Moment: reminder, john mcclane’s daughter is H.O.T. but she’s also a hostage of the terrorist, damsel in distress!
Movie Moment: witty banter between terrorist and John McClane. McClane’s daughter gets slapped as result
Movie Moment: terrorists find out that a F-35 is heading there way. will subscribe to it’s blog to be sure it’s intentions are pure
Movie Moment: John McClane is fighting a terrorist in a freezer, no jacket required but watch out for the randomly placed high speed razor blade fans!
Movie Moment: Terrorist found the high speed razor blade fans, is not dead. and in a million pieces.
Movie Moment: John McClane is surfing on top of a semi truck, what a badass!
Movie Moment: John McClane is now driving said semi truck, driver has been shot, union to be notified
Movie Moment: “the warlock” is on the CB! I’m shocked that Semi Trucks have a CB, much less a hacker, but ok
Movie Moment: All the cars on the highway are dead. why? cause the internet is down? Semi Truck has to dodge them all, but isn’t successful 50% of the time
Movie Moment: F35 is getting instructions to shoot the semi, not the terrorists. thank god pilots have to follow every order ever sent to them
Movie Moment: F35 misses with missiles, hits overpass instead. pilot apparently graduated from the Keystone Cops Aviation unit, John McClane is thankful
Movie Moment: F35 uses it’s VTOL ability to shoot at semi truck, in a situation that has never happened in reality at any time
Movie Moment: F35 expends 5,000 rounds shooting at Semi truck. In reality, most F35′s have well under 1,000 rounds loaded
Movie Moment: John McClane is surfing on top of F35, which quickly explodes due to McClane’s awesomeness.
Movie Moment: F25 exploeded near the terrorist’s destination, which is great, cause if it was 10 miles down the road he would have no way to slowly jog towards them with grim determination
Movie Moment: John McClane has been shot! If he’s anything like any of the terrorists in the last 3 movies, he’s dead for sure!
Movie Moment: john McClane can take a few bullets to the chest apparently, he’s just fine!
Movie Moment: The sum of this movie depends on none of the Federal agencies having local backups.
Movie Moment: John McClane just shot himself to shoot the terrorist behind him. he’s ok, but whew, that terrorist sure did bite the big one!
Movie Moment: hacker needs medical attention because he got a splinter in his finger, John McClane however needs no medical attention, he’s a bad ass.
Movie Moment: Die Hard 4 – How To Hack America is over. I meant no disrespect to the creators / actors in this film, it’s enjoyable on it’s own, but holy crap it does NOT fit within the Die Hard universe, especially when you watch them all back to back. Let’s hope the next one isn’t so stunningly out of place, stay tuned for “Die Hard: Russian Adventures with John Jr”
January 13, 2013 at 7:08 pm
i wouldnt read all these words if my balls were in a a vat of radioactive molten maggots being whipped by a wire wisk made of razor blades coated in mongoloid diarrhea.
January 13, 2013 at 8:38 pm
That what happens when you got too much “couch guarding”.
You have been warned.
January 13, 2013 at 8:41 pm
One movie review, well done, hold the maggots.
January 14, 2013 at 12:35 am
Bored to tears after the first line.
January 14, 2013 at 8:25 pm
but sooo true