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December 20, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Its OK to stereotype Texas like this but if I were to say … “You know what they say, once you go black… you’re a single mother…” Then I’m branded a racist. Unfortunately, this is pretty close to true.
December 20, 2011 at 5:24 pm
I don’t know. It needs postings for “Oil infrastructure as far as you can see,” and “people with ranches who talk like Rick Perry/G. W. Bush.”
December 20, 2011 at 5:55 pm
Hey, I find people like Rick Perry and George W. Bush very inspirational.
I wish I could live out my “dress and act like a job that doesn’t exist anymore” dreams by buying property, wearing a costume, and throwing money at it until all of the inconveniences of said “rough life” were gone and have people actually take me seriously.
I wouldn’t buy a ranch, big hat, boots and belt buckles to be a cowboy, though. I’d be a pirate. I’d just dock a ship in the marina, fully finish every compartment like a yacht, invoke second amendment rights on flintlocks and cannons, and act completely normal wearing a tricorne, nobleman shirt, and wool captain’s jacket.
[harp sound effects]
Y’ARR, METHINKS AN EMBARGO WOULD BALANCE YE BUDGET. AND TO THE PLANK WITH YE, KENNETH STARR, THAT WENCH DID NOT POLISH ME MAST.
December 20, 2011 at 7:21 pm
I’d make the ‘wool’ coat out of something cooler like sweat-wick cotton/polyester (at least for the daytime), but otherwise that would be fun.
I think you broke my brain with that Bill-Clinton-as-a-pirate motif. Very inspired, but quite surreal.
December 20, 2011 at 5:55 pm
“Texan” is a race…?
December 20, 2011 at 7:23 pm
“Texan” is a species, Homo Adipis.
December 21, 2011 at 1:21 am
Black isn’t a race either. We are all Homo Sapiens. A single race, regardless of color or intelligence. Saying “Black people are inferior in every possible way” is technically not racist, unless you suggest that they are not homo sapiens, in which case you’re stupider than a black texan.
December 21, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Well said…except where you get “race” confused with “species”.
December 20, 2011 at 11:32 pm
UT and Hippies, all the way. Yeehaw.
December 21, 2011 at 4:17 am
Is all of Fort Worth really just gay cowboys? Seems like we have a lot of upwardly mobile Hispanics too.
December 21, 2011 at 8:22 pm
I grew up in Texas Tech/”The Strip”, and this is fairly true. Lubbock: TexasTech and Booze. Oh and flat cotton fields.
December 30, 2011 at 4:56 am
Blue Bell (Brenham) fucking rocks