hey atheists

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    15 Responses to hey atheists

    1. magnets, that’s how.
      now explain how magnets work


    2. If evolution doesn’t exist, then why is there direct observable evidence of it?



    3. He didn’t walk on water- you LIED. Game over.


    4. A douche is a douche no matter what god(s) they do or don’t believe in.


    5. I’ve heard this one before. The answer is “Low tide” or a “sandbar”. Haven’t heard this one in quite a few years.


    6. Wizardy, or “heathen magicks” as your religion terms it.


    7. Jesus wasn’t the first to walk on water. Horus was. Yet another instance of how Jesus’s “miracles” were ripped off from other deities.

      There’s just a few other similarities associated with this one god

      1. Both were conceived of a virgin.

      2. Both were the “only begotten son” of a god (either Osiris or Yahweh)

      3. Horus’s mother was Meri, Jesus’s mother was Mary.

      4. Horus’s foster father was called Jo-Seph, and Jesus’s foster father was Joseph.

      5. Both foster fathers were of royal descent.

      6. Both were born in a cave (although sometimes Jesus is said to have been born in a stable).

      7. Both had their coming announced to their mother by an angel.

      8. Horus; birth was heralded by the star Sirius (the morning star). Jesus had his birth heralded by a star in the East (the sun rises in the East).

      9. Ancient Egyptians celebrated the birth of Horus on December 21 (the Winter Solstice). Modern Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus on December 25.

      10. Both births were announced by angels (this si nto the same as number 7).

      11. Both had shepherds witnessing the birth.

      12. Horus was visited at birth by “three solar deities” and Jesus was visited by “three wise men”.

      13. After the birth of Horus, Herut tried to have Horus murdered. After the birth of Jesus, Herod tried to have Jesus murdered.

      14. To hide from Herut, the god That tells Isis, “Come, thou goddess Isis, hide thyself with thy child.” To hide from Herod, an angel tells Joseph to “arise and take the young child and his mother and flee into Egypt.”

      15. When Horus came of age, he had a special ritual where hsi eye was restored. When Jesus (and other Jews) come of age, they have a special ritual called a Bar Mitzvah.

      16. Both Horus and Jesus were 12 at this coming-of-age ritual.

      17. Neither have any official recorded life histories between the ages of 12 and 30.

      18. Horus was baptized in the river Eridanus. Jesus was baptized in the river Jordan.

      19. Both were baptized at age 30.

      20. Horus was baptized by Anup the Baptizer. Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist.

      21. Both Anup and John were later beheaded.

      22. Horus was taken from the desert of Amenta up a high mountain to be tempted by his arch-rival Set. Jesus was taken from the desert in Palestine up a high mountain to be tempted by his arch-rival Satan.

      23. Both Horus and Jesus successfully resist this temptation.

      24. Both have 12 disciples.

      25. Both walked on water, cast out demons, healed the sick, and restored sight to the blind.

      26. Horus “stilled the sea by his power.” Jesus commanded the sea to be still by saying, “Peace, be still.”

      27. Horus raised his dead father (Osiris) from the grave. Jesus raised Lazarus from the grave. (Note the similarity in names when you say them out loud. Further, Osiris was also known as Asar, which is El-Asar in Hebrew, which is El-Asarus in Latin.)

      28. Osiris was raised in the town of Anu. Lazarus was raised in Livanu (literally, “house of Anu”).

      29. Both gods delivered a Sermon on the Mount.

      30. Both were crucified.

      31. Both were crucified next to two thieves.

      32. Both were buried in a tomb.

      33. Horus was sent to Hell and resurrected in 3 days. Jesus was sent to Hell and came back “three days” later (although Friday night to Sunday morning is hardly three days).

      34. Both had their resurrection announced by women.

      35. Both are supposed to return for a 1000-year reign.

      36. Horus is known as KRST, the anointed one. Jesus was known as the Christ (which means “anointed one”).

      37. Both Jesus and Horus have been called the good shepherd, the lamb of God, the bread of life, the son of man, the Word, the fisher, and the winnower.

      38. Both are associated with the zodiac sign of Pisces (the fish).

      39. Both are associated with the symbols of the fish, the beetle, the vine, and the shepherd’s crook.

      40. Horus was born in Anu (“the place of bread”) and Jesus was born in Livlehem (“the house of bread”).

      41. “The infant Horus was carried out of Egypt to escape the wrath of Typhon. The infant Jesus was carried into Egypt to escape the wrath of Herod. Concerning the infant Jesus, the New Testament states the following prophecy: ‘Out of Egypt have I called my son.'” (See Point 13)

      42. Both were transfigured on the mount.

      43. The catacombs of Rome have pictures of the infant Horus being held by his mother, not unlike the modern-day images of “Madonna and Child.”

      44. Noted English author C. W. King says that both Isis and Mary are called “Immaculate”.

      45. Horus says: “Osiris, I am your son, come to glorify your soul, and to give you even more power.” And Jesus says: “Now is the Son of Man glorified and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will glorify the Son in himself, and will glorify him at once.”

      46. Horus was identified with the Tau (cross).

      Just a few similarities


    8. I’m surprised no one has gone with cornstarch. Cornstarch + water = non newtonian fluid that you can run on. Its pretty kick ass.


    9. If Jesus is the son of god how did I punch him when I went to visit him in my time machine?


    10. He didn’t. OH SNAP :B


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