How to get a girlfriend

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For Puu.

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    49 Responses to How to get a girlfriend

    1. I guess thats the problem – I don’t want a girlfriend.

      I want a gamer / ballerina / geek / hotty, that doesnt subscribe to social ‘norms’, isn’t going to drag me to boring events, dresses and acts exactly how she wants, is 99% independant, smarter than me (but not heavier) with more energy than me (but not stamina) with which to have a monogamous relationship. AND isnt preoccupied with wedding dresses and babbies.

      See I cant really carry around a clip board and ask these questions. Dating sites so far are full of crazed bunny boilers. Where do I find ladies like this? do they exist? Point me to one and I’ll gladly ask her out. I’m not asking out EVERYBODY and then figuring out if they fit the criteria afterwards. That would take for ever. OK actually I guess I am in fact doing just that. Is there a way I can speed up the process? These one night stands are getting me down, I just want a girl that can put both her legs behind her head! Its not much to ask!


    2. But complaining about it is so much easier than the your alternative.


    3. Say what you will about the Xenubious One –this was one of Cruise’s most daring performances.



    4. It does help if you have something to offer a woman before you ask them out, like perhaps the ability to talk about something other than Star Wars.


    5. “Finding love isn’t about finding someone who is perfect for you, but about finding someone who can make you forget that he/she isn’t perfect for you.” — anonymous


      • First thing you said that I liked, you prolapse


        • Yeah that’s beautiful.

          I’m good at forgetting things so this is another option.

          But I have yet to meet a girl that makes me forget I love video games, or lounging all weekend in my underpants like a lazy cat. No I do not want to go out with you and your friends, that’s why they are called YOUR friends. Your great uncles birthday party? Okay… but bring me back some caek I’ll be right here where you left me. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a total hermit – we can go walking in the countryside, chill by the beach, horseriding – whatever. But if I think something is boring, I’m not gonna pretend to be ok with it to please you – and I would encourage you to do the same. Life is too short for bullshit.


          • See, that’s why it’s not happening. You want the profit without paying. That’s not working. Not in social security, not in a lottery and also not in relationships.
            You wanna get laid on a regular basis without changing your lifestyle the slightest, get a ‘friend with benefits’. But if you want a stable relationship, you’ll have to invest something. Big difference.


            • No NO and no. I do not believe relationships are a place for profit and loss spreadsheets.

              I am more than willing to pay, in the form of constant emotional support, quality time together, the ability to listen for hours on end without interruption, oh and totally devoted. The things that real friends offer – not going off to Great Aunt Hilda’s anniversary party in the hope I will get rewarded with a blowjob later that night. A real friend would understand I do not find that appealing. Thats what I want 100% honest open communication straight from the heart. No fucking around. No games.

              I have a friend with benefits, I could call her now. But I am not attracted to her as a romantic partner.

              I’m willing to invest, but I will not jeapordise my fealty. My investment is real emotion. Not faked as a means to an end.


    6. I never understood people who put up Toll Gates for relationships.

      What if you find someone that actually meets your qualifications, but they won’t give you the time of day cause you don’t meet a single one of theirs.

      You’re not that special, no one is. Just talk the girl/guy whoever like they’re a human being first.
      Then figure out if you want Tab A inserted in to Slot B or vice versa.

      It really isn’t that complicated and doesn’t need to be.


      • If I meet someone that meets my ‘qualifications’, and they don’t want me – fine – at least I know they exist. And they might have some friends / sisters hehe.

        I am that special. We all are. There is nothing wrong with holding out for exactly what you want.

        I makes me sad to think people just accept the first partner they can because they are so afraid of being alone. If I die without meeting my Miss perfect, I’ll be happy that I at least tried – and didn’t put up with some nagging, shallow babbie machine. It isn’t all about slot A and tab B – sex is secondary, a cheeky bonus. I want a soul mate. And anything else just will not do.


        • No, I believe you missed my point.

          Basically, the harder you make this upon yourself the less likely you will succeed, and the more likely you’ll just end up being lonely.

          I’m not talking about being a shallow whore and going out with anybody, having standards is not a bad thing. But if your standards are unrealistic or nigh unattainable then you will never be with anyone.

          But, hey, not everyone wants to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and that’s o.k. too. Upon further reading and especially since you stated that sex is secondary, I’m of the opinion that you actually just want a really good friend.

          heh, Friend girl indeed


          • No I think I got your point. 😀

            I inflate my standards for fun, I’m flexible really – but the important thing, the one major rule, is I want a girl that will not try to change me. So far no success with this.

            Yes I just want a really good friend. And girls are much nicer to look at than boys. Plus we’d have all the right parts to make our own entertainment.

            Modern society has seriously fucked up relationships. Soap operas fill womens head with rubbish, along with glossy magazines. The real values people should have are forgotten and replaced with that we believe the popular opinion to be. It fucking sucks hard. Diamonds. Don’t get me started on fucking diamonds.


    7. Anadin, you will never find that girl because she doesn’t exist. Go out and find someone who may not be who you expect.

      That’s how you fall in love. That’s how you get the girl.

      Don’t have a list of requirements. Just go out there and find a girl and actually learn her hobbies and such first hand.

      Jesus Christ, people actually think that waiting for that perfect someone is going to work. Gimme a fuckin’ break.


    8. Dating takes the fun out of stalking.


    9. anadin, i’m with you man. fuck all these stupid bitches, and everyone who says your checkboxes are stupid or you don’t deserve a girlfriend is in fact, stupid as fuck. no more one night stands for me either, and most likely, no more girlfriends. fuck it, my only advice (and what i’m looking for) is a FRIEND GIRL, but she might not exist cause these bitches just want my dick, my cash, or likely both. btw though, both legs…might take a while to find one who can do that. lower your standards and go for one leg behind her head. stay up!


    10. This is some seriously pathetic crap. YOu’re just too scared to go out and meet some girls. Get in some clothes….maybe shave….go outside….meet girls. One day, one of them will like you…maybe even bang your sorry ass.


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