I`ve always wondered what it would be like to communicate with a banana.
Useless Superpowers
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January 5, 2011 at 6:09 pm
I would love to talk to apples
January 7, 2011 at 1:51 am
I was thinking about that one. What if the apple has something useful to say? Then it wouldn’t be a useless superpower.
A number of these would be useful in the right situation.
Acid tears would be useful if you’re getting raped. Just cry on you’re attackers dick.
Invisibility in the dark would be useful if you’re trying to sneak past a bunch of guys with night vision equipment.
Remote remote control could be used to take control of remote the Evil scientist is using to control his Evil Robot.
Trash detection would be useful in a restaurant.
If 75% levitation means what I think it means, then a person could skim along the ground and avoid any potential dangers, like landmines.
Summon a lamp once would be useful once. Haha.
Bullet attraction would be useful for other people.
I could go on.
January 5, 2011 at 6:24 pm
This reminds me of the useless superhero Alan. Created by the brilliant David Firth.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfAqNprqdZA
January 5, 2011 at 7:17 pm
the fuck?
seriously what the fuck is that?
I got a headache from waching it
January 5, 2011 at 8:19 pm
British insanity.
January 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Because you’re a fucking dumbass
January 5, 2011 at 8:05 pm
Reminded me of Burnt Face Man.
January 5, 2011 at 8:22 pm
You’re right him too, although I don’t think of him quite as useless as I think of Alan.
January 5, 2011 at 7:21 pm
The ability to engulf yourself in flame, but you aren’t immune to fire.
January 5, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Casemods has the ability to repel vagina and, I believe he talks to bananas nightly.
January 5, 2011 at 9:05 pm
The bananas rape him at night.
January 5, 2011 at 10:25 pm
Invisibility in the dark and 1 second super strength aren’t useless at all.
If nobody else wants those powers, I’ll take them.
January 6, 2011 at 7:01 am
Seconded.
January 5, 2011 at 11:34 pm
Talking to fruit would make for great investigative sources. The Apple know everything you do.
Though Eating the apple might feel a little sad.
January 5, 2011 at 11:57 pm
super slo mo + orgasm = win
January 6, 2011 at 12:58 am
Reminds me of the guy in Misfits who could use telekinisis, but only on milk and other dairy products.
January 6, 2011 at 8:27 pm
super slow mo would be very helpful, if you want more time to make a decision, or if you want a moment to last.
and what’s the recharge time on the 1 second super-strength?
oh, and who WOULDN’T want to be able to pick up a remote control from across the room?