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How to pet my cat/How NOT to pet my cat
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Incidentally, the same thing goes for pussy.
Life is like an hourglass Wallpaper
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eventually, everything hits the bottom.
and all you have to do is wait it out until
someone comes along and turns it around.
And so are the days of our lifes. Sniff.
Orange Head
(0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 5) (Log in to vote!) Loading ...It’s business as usual for a bartender, and one day as he is cleaning his bar when an unusual customer walks in. The man is dressed in an expensive suit, has a beautiful supermodel hanging off each arm, and has a limo parked outside. Furthermore, the man has an orange for a head.
The customer sits down at the bar and orders everyone a drink. He pays for it from a roll of hundreds and manages to get the attention of every woman in the joint, despite having an orange for a head.
The bartender is not a man to pry, but he feels compelled to ask about this man’s life.
"Excuse me," says the bartender, "I can’t help but notice that you’re obviously fabulously wealthy and irresistable to women, but you have an orange for a head. How did that happen?"
So the man told his story.
"A while back, when I was penniless, I was walking along the beach and saw an old lamp, half buried in the sand. I picked it up and gave it a clean, and POOF! out popped a genie. The genie explained that he had been trapped in that lamp for two hundred years, and that he was so grateful to me for freeing him that he would give me three wishes.
"For my first wish I asked for an unlimited fortune. The genie said ‘It is done!’ and from then on, whenever I needed money, it was there.
"For my second wish I asked for the attention of all the most beautiful women in the world. The genie said it was done, and since then I have been able to get any woman I wanted.
"For my third wish — and, this is the bit where I kinda fucked up — I asked for an orange for a head."
via reddit.
reposted from www.TikiHumor.com
How to open a jar
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with a firm rapping on the counter, of course.
Soni
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This is my girlfriend’s cat, his name is Soni, 18lbs, 2 years old.
The last picture was the look on his face when I told him that the photos would be published in MCS
