In Hong Kong, Bench Fucks You

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Hong Kong police received a frantic call from a 41 year-old gentleman named Xing. It seems that while meandering through the park, he had espied the salacious, perforated curves of one of the many benches dotting the grounds and, seeing that no one was around, he decided to do what any right-thinking, virile man would do. He decided to fuck it.
Problems soon enough presented themselves when Xing realized that the object of his affection had so firm a grasp on his member that he was unable to extricate himself. In a panic, he called the police who, finding his penis too swollen with blood to safely remove from the bench, were forced to cut the bench free and transport it, with lover attached, to the hospital where it was removed.

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    14 Responses to In Hong Kong, Bench Fucks You

    1. Ha! The holes are smaller than his big toe and yet he got Johnson through.


    2. Me in the future. I just know it.

      And don’t you judge me, you god damn bastards.


    3. But really fucking a bench? When your left and right get this boring you might want to try and get the real stuff.


    4. Here’s a story about an Ohio guy who’s neighbor was videotaping him fucking the umbrella stand part of his picnic table. Apparently he had all of his charges against him dropped.


    5. ah poor guy ,,,,,, he probally drunk and fell on the bench,,,, sure it happens us all


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