In Hong Kong, Bench Fucks You

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Hong Kong police received a frantic call from a 41 year-old gentleman named Xing. It seems that while meandering through the park, he had espied the salacious, perforated curves of one of the many benches dotting the grounds and, seeing that no one was around, he decided to do what any right-thinking, virile man would do. He decided to fuck it.
Problems soon enough presented themselves when Xing realized that the object of his affection had so firm a grasp on his member that he was unable to extricate himself. In a panic, he called the police who, finding his penis too swollen with blood to safely remove from the bench, were forced to cut the bench free and transport it, with lover attached, to the hospital where it was removed.
www.ectomo.com/2008/08/08/in-hong-kong-bench-fucks-you/


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    Miles_BetterDMYTRIW WDSnyokkiOriahnaPnInDaAss Recent comment authors
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    PnInDaAss
    Member
    PnInDaAss

    lol! Your poor poor bastard

    Queensly
    Member

    Ha! The holes are smaller than his big toe and yet he got Johnson through.

    blowbags
    Member

    *eyes his big toe* *phew* Yea lol

    …*shifty eyes*

    j_bryon
    Member

    Most guys could probably get through those holes soft…but them they become like a cockring that cannot be removed. It’s likely he was still erect while they were working on him.

    bstaples
    Member

    [insert_asian_men_have_small_penises_joke]

    Oriahna
    Member

    its ok, all the futa girls make up for it

    ian356094
    Member

    Me in the future. I just know it.

    And don’t you judge me, you god damn bastards.

    nyoki
    Member

    I feel confident in saying…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    Darkhell
    Member
    Darkhell

    But really fucking a bench? When your left and right get this boring you might want to try and get the real stuff.

    ian356094
    Member

    Real pussy gets old. Furniture never does!

    figosound
    Member

    your creepy

    PnInDaAss
    Member
    PnInDaAss

    Let this be a lesson to all you future cock monsters, benches are a no no

    DMYTRIW WDS
    Member

    Here’s a story about an Ohio guy who’s neighbor was videotaping him fucking the umbrella stand part of his picnic table. Apparently he had all of his charges against him dropped.

    www.asylum.com/2008/03/31/no-picnic-man-charged-with-screwing-a-patio-table/

    Miles_Better
    Member

    ah poor guy ,,,,,, he probally drunk and fell on the bench,,,, sure it happens us all



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