A husband says to his wife, “What would you do if I won the Lottery?”She says, “I’d take half, then leave you.”“Excellent,” he replies,“I won $10 , here’s$£5 – now Fuck off!”

via Naughty Bits

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

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A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Dodge SRT-4 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in the shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the SRT.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in and, when I finish it works just like new.”

“So how is it I make only $39,000 a year, a pretty small salary, and you get the really big bucks, $1.6 million, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic…

“Try doing it with the engine running.”

via  Bits and Pieces.

reposted from www.TikiHumor.com

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