how not to fail at life

Added on April 24th, 2010 by Soong | Report Post
Tags:Humor

Sorry, I know it’s likely more reading than you’re accustomed to.

Internets forgive me if any are reposts.

P.S. the title is a Penny Arcade reference.

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Soong (#11302)

Author

13 years ago

P.P.S. The title is no longer a Penny Arcade reference.

tiki god (#1) (MCS+)

Admin

Reply to Soong

13 years ago

fucking people don’t read the fucking submissions guidelines.

single topic you sick fucks.

SINGLE FUCKING TOPIC.

natedog (#1905)

13 years ago

step 1. don’t be casemods
step 2. repeat step one

Flooble (#)

Reply to natedog

13 years ago

I’m actually glad you posted this natedog, because this process actually saved my life in one of the grim points of my life… I said to myself

“How can I improve my life, Adro?”

And then I realized… all I had to do was not be casemods!

nyoki (#3444)

Reply to Flooble

13 years ago

It’s an amazing feeling, isn’t it, not being him? It seems so obvious now.

fortyseven (#3235)

13 years ago

sorry i’m not not accostomed to reading more than a couple of lines we’re all stupid obese opinionated stereotyped americans here

Jesus Christ (#178)

Reply to fortyseven

13 years ago

AND I BLESS YOU ALL.

Puulaahi (#4552)

Reply to fortyseven

13 years ago

Where the fuck is my McDonalds Big Mac and Nascar!

Snow (#1832)

13 years ago

the thing about relationships is stupid

shakespeare has that shit down.

the lady doth protest to much

she will hate you then grow to like you

Silverwolf (#6586)

13 years ago

Oh, nuts. I’m still at step 4. Haven’t worked out the courage to get to step 5 (mostly because I’m still too damn picky for my own good).

Luke Magnifico (#1029)

13 years ago

Do something that you enjoy in public.

Like Warhammer 40k.

Where you spend a ridiculous amount of money on tiny resin figures, spend hours building them and painting them, and then play a game based on rulers and dice.

Also implying that autism is the same kind of disease as cancer or muscular dystrophy.

Why would I take advice on not failing at life from someone who fails at life?

Phyreblade (#1414)

13 years ago

OK, this sucks…

ray53208 (#7278)

13 years ago

rules 5 and 6 on panel 1 are BS.
gifts get you no where unless you want a gold digger.
talk to girls, dumbass. learn to say hello. learn to listen. learn to have a normal conversation that doesn’t include ANY jargon from 4chan. compliment them, be sincere, be polite, be honest.

you don’t have to lie or not be yourself, just be your BEST self.
remember, your going to meet a lot of girls. talking WITH them (not at them) is the only way to know if they’re batshit insane or even interesting people. its an interview process where you let them tell you about themselves. you might mess up, but keep trying. sometimes you’ll have to move along to a new girl.

once you meet someone who enjoys your company, and who you truly like. just like, love comes later… MAYBE. and forget about sex for a while (yes, its an essential aspect to an adult relationship. but you aren’t there yet.) then you get the gifts; and 200+ dollars is stupid and a little crazy, yes you’ll creep her out. think about $35 to $50 just to test the waters, then if she appreciates it and sticks around do it again later.

ray53208 (#7278)

Reply to ray53208

13 years ago

whoah! i hadn’t read the next couple panels yet. apparently, i jumped the gun with hitting the submit button.

okay, panel 2: there are a few things on that list of things that will happen in a relationship that warrant an immediate break-up. just out of self-respect and self-preservation. if someone loves you, they will not willingly hurt you. period. the end.

if she cheats, if shes a junkie, if she is mean and hurtful… LEAVE. you aren’t contractually bound to her. do you know why?

REMEMBER: given the choice between being miserable alone, or miserable with someone. be alone. there is no fucking reason to waste your time on someone who is going to drag you into misery. ultimately, id would’ve been your own fault for staying with someone who hurt you.

loving someone doesn’t give them license to hurt you.

some of the other things are piddly shit: pimples? furries? ect.
some things are pretty serious: herpes, cancer, ect.

serious or not, the only way you are going to survive as a couple through the rough parts is to communicate. once again it comes back to talking.

also, long distance NEVER works. don’t argue, it never works out. just agree to be friends and swiftly, amicably part ways. maybe you’ll move closer together sometime in the future and can rekindle something. until then, just let her go.

dagonz (#10261)

Reply to ray53208

13 years ago

“also, long distance NEVER works. don’t argue, it never works out”.

That’s bollocks. I’ve had three years of long-distance in my relationship with my now wife.

Long-idstance doesn’t work often, but it can work. You’ve just got to put in the effort: talk every day if you can, visit about once a month if you can afford it. And it definitely helps if you’ve been together in the same place for a little while beforehand. But it can work.