Websites Described As Food
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January 8, 2010 at 12:48 pm
75% of the sites – never heard of’em.
January 8, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Same. Also, 85% of that food – never had any of it.
GIMME MOUNTAIN DEW I WANNA TRY MOUNTAIN DEW DAMNIT
January 8, 2010 at 2:25 pm
50% for the food.
January 14, 2010 at 9:35 am
You’ve never had Mt. Dew? Sadly the days of it made with sugar and coming in a glass bottle are gone. That was the best.
January 14, 2010 at 11:20 am
): Aw man. It’s the product I planned on consuming first, when visiting Americaland. My dreams have been crushed like Jessica Simpson’s ego.
January 14, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Why didn’t you drink some while in Romania?
January 14, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Because while I want Mountain Dew very badly, I want to save that special occasion for when I get to America since that’s where it comes from. Like if someone were to mail me a bottle I would get very upset. Also America is a very young country, as far as food goes they don’t have that much culture that I’m not familiar with and since I’m a veganJewsocialist, I’m not left with too many options when it comes to trying to feel like an American. In my mind it’s all planned out and visualised though. I arrive at the airport, I’m assuming they have little stores with overpriced products you could get much cheaper at Walmart there, like most other airports I’ve been to. I go in, take a bottle of Mountain Dew from the shelf or wherever the fuck they keep it, give the lady at the checkpoint some beautiful American money, I know it’ll be a lady, I tell her to keep the change, then I turn to the right, open the bottle, it goes “chhhh”, I lift the bottle to my lips and drink it. Then the sky will open up, the sun will shine right down on me and you can hear hallelujahs in the background.
January 14, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Keep the change? You just said everything is overpriced… What are you? Rich?
January 14, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Generous? It’s a special occasion, I’d compliment her strangely shaped ass if need be.
January 14, 2010 at 3:50 pm
I’d pretend to be French and call her an American swine.
January 14, 2010 at 4:05 pm
Is that your idea of generosity or just a random option you would choose instead. You realise I’m following a precise plan, yes? And don’t give me shit for following a plan, it’s what I do. Anyway I’m not impressed by your generic I insultAmericanslol option. You need to step up your game son.
January 14, 2010 at 4:48 pm
I’m actually insulting Frenchmen. [Natedog's mind was blown]
January 14, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Yet I’m sure it wouldn’t bother anyone who is French.
January 14, 2010 at 5:45 pm
That’s just like the French…
January 15, 2010 at 9:24 pm
When you come to America, I need to know about it.
BTW:
I have that moment *every single day*
January 14, 2010 at 10:08 am
Love to know what 4chan tasted like for you, seeing as you’ve omitted it?
January 14, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Haggis.
January 14, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Jezebel is part of a family of sites that I visit daily (Kotaku – io9 – Gawker), but Jezebel is crazy, as are all their commentators. I’m about as tolerant and open minded as they come, and those bitches are crazy.
January 14, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Oh Jezebel I do know and love. I’m a big fan of Tracie, I also read her blog and Pot Psychology is the most amazing thing. I can’t relate to anything she talks about or whatever but it’s extremely interesting, she’s like a character in a book and I enjoy how she’s so painfully honest about the most embarrassing things.
Here’s one of my favourite quotes from her blog,
“I just got off the phone with my mother. Despite her devil-may-care attitude about traffic lights, and her love of Chardonnay on the rocks, she’s pretty conservative. One time when I was 14-years-old, I described a pair of shoes in a store window as “Cool as hell,” and she turned sharply to me and said, “Watch your mouth. I’m your mother, not your friend.”"
January 16, 2010 at 9:43 pm
Dooce would find this fucking hilarious.