My[confined]Space

agzed (UID# 2298) 0  0
December 16, 2009 at 2:01 pm

Packs of marijuana cigarettes, you say? Ignoring the fact that anyone who actually knows what marijuana is knows it doesn’t come in packs nor cigarettes, let’s look at this a bit further. A pack of cigarettes contains 20 cigarettes. One cigarette contains about 1 gram of tobacco. One gram of weed runs about $10, so you’re looking at $200 for one pack of marijuana cigarettes. The picture says he smokes “several” packs a week. “Several” is generally defined as being more than 1-3, so let’s say David smokes 4 packs a week. That’s $800 a week. Multiply that out by 52 (since I doubt Dave takes holidays), and that’s $41,600 a year, just on weed. Now, the picture says that David has no job, no money, and no home, but Occam’s Razor tells us that no one who smokes 80 grams of weed a week is going to be capable of doing anything more nefarious than what Dave’s currently doing in the picture. It also tells us that David is not independently wealthy, since the first thing a rich pothead is going to do is buy a nice house with a bigass greenhouse in the backyard, right next door to a Cheetos factory. Thus, we must deduce that Dave does in fact have a job. One that allows him to be ripped to the eyes on weed every day, smoke weed on the job (in all likelihood), and pays him a net salary of at least $41,600 (though likely significantly more, since someone that stoned all the time is going to go through an unholy amount of Cheetos and Hershey bars). The more you know, kids. The more you know.

TL;DR version: Fuck Mike, I want Dave’s job.