The Table

There-No-Table-Greater_500x500.jpg (34 KB)

When you have to beat the shit out of someone in the middle of the night.

  • Leave a comment ?

    27 Responses to The Table

    1. Why would you have some ugly table when you could have a gun near your bed?

      Reply

    2. Less effective than a gun, but far more hilarious to use.

      Reply

    3. All I’m saying is that it looks tacky. Who has a bed side table like that?

      Reply

    4. this is fukken awesome

      i love the bottom 2 frames.

      ZZZzzzZZzzZzzzzZZZzzzz*%@!#

      WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MAH HOUSE??!??!?
      *beat repeatedly with club*

      Reply

    5. This really works only if you yell something archaic like, “Have at you!!!” as go on the attack.

      Reply

    6. Why have a table like that when I have real shields, warclubs, and swords bedside and on my wall in easy reach? Or I could smash an intruder down with the big brick of a lockbox local laws say I have to keep my .357 in….

      Reply

    7. You also need the Emergency ‘Please don’t let me be misunderstood’ KillBill-swordfight on stereo speakers ready in accompany with this set of tomfoolery

      Reply

    8. The Zombie Apocalypse Table!

      Reply

    9. @Puulahi: yes, this is the true purpose of this table

      Reply

    10. This is too cool. It has a better visual impact than a pistol, I’d think. Besides, what are the chances of accidently clubbing your teenager that is sneaking home at 3 am compared to accidently shooting them?
      Remember kids, the shield makes a great weapon too- smashing in the face, chopping into an elbow or knee, bash into the midsection… Not throwing it like a frisbee though.

      Reply

    11. @SumoSnipe: This is about as effective as that lockbox. You still have to unscrew the leg from the top before use. Probably takes more time than unlocking your gunsafe. But I suppose you could beat an intruder, or your sneaky teenage son with the entire table, as well. Bedside firearms, FTW.

      Reply

    12. What is wrong with you people? This is awesome! The only down side is if your wife put flowers or something on it.

      Reply

    13. from a functional standpoint, the shield would be incredibly uncomfortable to use. metal bars digging into your skin and all.

      Reply

    14. “this is not YOUR bedroom- THIS IS SPARTA!!!”

      But i agree this is awsome- I would beat the shit out of someone and then make them walk to the hospital… Then call the cops. (i always call the cops last- gives time for clean up)

      Reply

    15. I already have a stick by my bed. No use for a shield, really. It looks cool, but I wouldn’t buy it. I have always said that a stick is better than a gun for intruders. Scare the shit out of them, beat them to a pulp, then call the cops and play the helpless female. HA!

      Reply

    16. Where can I buy this? I swear if it’s under $60 I’ll buy it.

      Reply

    17. No kidding. If I can’t buy it, I’ll have to make it.

      Reply

    18. Hey, I have these! Except they are made of steel. And don’t actually masquerade as a table… OK, maybe i don’t have one of these…

      Reply

    19. @thatonejimguy: from a functional standpoint, this fails in a number of ways. As a table it looks like it would break if you put a flower pot on it (seriously, that bottom pin holder is what, 1 1/2 inches?), the shield barely works, and the billy club part is so short you’d have a hard time taking on someone with a knife.

      Seriously, if you’re sane enough to want a non-lethal way of dispatching an intruder, use pepper spray, a taser/myotron, and a good, hard wooden baseball/cricket bat (don’t swing full force if you wish to stay within those non-lethal guidelines).

      Reply

    20. I’ll stick to keeping a 12 gauge under the bed, I prefer having a table I can actually put things on.

      Reply

    21. I think I may make this for myself, but I will use one of those mini-baseball bats for the club and paint a ball motif on the shield probably. I still haven’t figured out how to get rid of the screw, but I am leaning towards inverting the bat (handle up) once I do.

      Reply

    22. @Sabersmith: magnets. strip a pair of magnets out of a dead microwave’s guts, those are fairly strong, will hold things in place if you dont overload the table.

      Reply

    23. @WistfulD: bokkens. Or as in my room, a buttload of wood in various stages of being carved into walking sticks and such.

      Reply

    24. @SumoSnipe:
      You said “buttload of wood” and no one remarked on this???

      Reply

    Leave a Comment




    Advertisements Alcohol Animated Images Art Awesome Things Batman Cars Comic Books Computers Cosplay Cute As Hell Animals Dark Humor Donald Trump Fantasy - Science Fiction Fashion Food Forum Fodder Gaming Humor Interesting LOLcats Military Movie Posters Movies Music Nature NeSFW Politics Religion Sad :( Science! Sexy Space Sports Star Trek Star Wars Technology Television Vertical Wallpaper Visual Tricks Wallpaper Weapons Women WTF X-Mas