@...flintlocke:

With nothing more than his bare hands and keen intellect, Chuck Norris has killed, maimed, and brutalized hundreds of Hollywood careers. After his fight scene with Chuck Norris, martial arts legend Bruce Lee died. Jonathan Brandis, who starred in Norris’ Sidekicks, was reduced to acting opposite a talking dolphin and became an hero when he was cut from Hart’s War.

Chuck Norris Facts is a prototypical funny old meme that most people grudgingly like. The joke is a rip-off of similar jokes about Wise Beard Man. Since Norris’ old movies are based on the premise that he has a superhuman ability to kick dirty foreigner ass, the Facts exaggerate these lofty abilities to epically unlulzy proportions. At least 100 years ago, there was a time everybody enjoyed Chuck Norris jokes.

And if Chuck Norris Facts have never made you laugh, not even once, you simply need to smoke more weed.

This was Chuck Norris Facts 101 with dieA. Every Saturday at 9am. Tune in next time!

*Coca Cola commercial*

@...ColombianMonkey:

Dude, fuck you. Everyone knows your show is sponsored by them fundamentalist environmentalists pussies & co.

Besides, we got Albert the scientist, and Andrew the friendly reptile.

Pffffft.

Pah! I AM a post-modern hippie. But yea, a clever one, taking over the world is the most basic thing on our list.

Haha, your cannabis ain’t got no shit on our caffeine.

And where else do you see scientists and reptiles mingle
It’s when they sniff white powder, to feel the tingle
Round and round goes the jingle
Notice the error in intellectual terrorists
Stealing minds and they ain’t need no fists
When mountains explode and even Goliath resists
Your chemicals are weak and so are your priorities
Now follow us or go down on your knees

@...ColombianMonkey:

Are you dissing my rhymes. Do you know what they call people who diss someone’s rhymes without throwing some rhymes back? You obviously didn’t get any of it. Or you would understand how a post-modern hippie could take over the world.

Yo, your credibility has just hit the bottom of the barrel. Can you hear the echo? Echo echo.

Echo echo. . .

@...SumoSnipe: Haha exactly. Ah the memories. And the mullet.

BRAINS FTMFW